Friday, 29 February 2008

Will you marry me ?

I was thinking that this was was a good time to have a wee bit of fun, after all, how many times does a girl get to propose ?

Now, I am a creature of habit and for many many years my celebrity shag list remained the same. The original line up was as follows

1 Billy Connolly
2 Robbie Coltrane
3 Craig Ferguson
4 Alan Cumming
5 Dougie Henshall

I amended it a few years ago, giving the matter quite considered care, to

1 Dougray Scott
2 Dougie Henshall
3 (I'm sorry to say I can't remember but it could've been Jack Davenport)
4 Sharleen Spiteri
5 Angelina Jolie

Now, I'm afraid to say that I'm going to have to amend it again as none of them seem to be doing it for me. What is wrong with me ? There are millions of people in this world, why can't I choose 5 ? It really is a puzzle, I've got no one to propose to and no one to proposition.

So, if you can think of anyone I can propose to, drop me a line please !

Ps, I have discounted Dan Parks as he is only 28 and Chris Patterson as he is a baby too

Monday, 25 February 2008

Hazardous Activities

At the moment I am teaching a module on Health and Safety, which I'm sure you will agree is just the topic to engage keen young minds ! They hang on my every word.

I went to collect some risk assessment forms that we use for trips, to show the students. We've got a rack of paperwork and a big notice board in the staff room. On the board there was a list of hazardous activities including stuff like canoeing, kayaking, pot holing etc. At the top some wag had written in big red writing.... TEACHING

Oh yes, who says teachers aren't funny ?

Monday, 18 February 2008

Scotland v England

This morning I caught a little preview of a programme that will be showing tonight. I think it's about how residents of Scotland have more per head spent on them by the government than English residents. In actual fact Northern Ireland residents get the most money spent on them but that wouldn't be as controversial a programme would it ?

It is relatively well known that a lot of Scots don't really care for the English but I think a lot of that is fairly tongue in cheek, I know that many Scots will always support the other team when there is a sporting event but do we Scots as a nation really hate the English ? I don't hate the English at all, I have some really lovely friends who are English but I feel very different to them.

My experiences of growing up in Thatcher's Britain have shaped me. I remember how strange and exciting it was to hear a Scottish accent on tv, we always had English voices and programming, there was a feeling that somehow our own voices were second best. Of course it's changed now and there are some fantstic Scottish programmes on now but I remember the excitement in school talking about the Peter McDougall play "Just a boy's Game" and if we had seen Billy Connolly on Parkinson. I also remember being governed by a Conservative government who had not 1 elected MP over on my side of the border. That kind of cemented the view that no matter what you voted in Scotland, it didn't matter as English opinions would always prevail due to the sheer numbers. I learned in school how much Scotland had given the world, we really did invent masses of really useful stuff and I learned how following the Jacobite rebellion that tartan, the kilt and Gaelic were banned. It does make you feel that as a union Scotland was definitely the weaker partner. I could say that Scotland took on the wife's role but that's a whole other post !

A really interesting book to read is " The Scottish Enlightenment - The Scots' Invention of the Modern World" by Arthur Herman. It makes you realise what my beautiful tiny nation contributed and incidentally, Arthur isn't Scottish.

I am a Scot living in England, my children are also Scottish and we really miss The Mother Country. I feel a profound ache living in exile. We share a border and some of us a common language but I feel as foreign here as I would living in America or in France. Every time I drive over the border into The Mother Country I play Runrig's "Coming Home" and we cheer and I often cry. I miss my country and my culture.

I know that due to my sheer incompetence in thinking ahead I will now have to live here until my children finish their education. I do not have a clear year where none of the children will not be doing exam coursework, the joy of having 3 children in 4 years !!! I would hate to move them when they are at a crucial stage of their education but if Scotland devolves, can I really still live here ? The thought of having to use a passport to go home just seems to press the point that I will be living in another country. At the moment I can still kid myself because we are still part of the UK but if devolution happens that notion goes.

I don't hate my life in England and I don't hate the English but I know that I will never be truly happy until I'm back where I belong. I have become more patriotic as I have got older and the longer I live away the more I miss it.

Being Scottish is not my defining characteristic but I do feel I would never chose to be anything other. The immense feeling of pride I have when I hear Flower of Scotland or when I see our beautiful rugby team lined up or when I hear the Murrayfield roar makes me well up. I feel immensly blessed that I had the good fortune to be born Scottish, how lucky am I ? My beautiful Scotland is my heart, Mo Chride

Friday, 15 February 2008

Three in a week

Go me, you can so tell I've got masses of free time.

I have run 3 times this week, which is unbelievable for me.

I have posted 3 blogs this week, also very unusual.

My house is clean.

My prep work is done.

All 3 of The Beautiful Children are with their dad.

Okay, I'm bored now, entertain me

Tuesday, 12 February 2008

Half Term Happy

Posting on consecutive days ! It can only mean it's half term. Normally I would drive up and visit The Beautiful Parents but Eldest Beautiful Daughter has revision sessions for GCSE's so here we stay. I have no marking to do, just prep and obviously a mountain of housework but time to do it in, God is good.

Today was a really beautiful day and I went out and ran, no prevaricating or procrastination, just put my trainers on, ipod in and ran, I'm so pleased with myself.

I've just finished a fabulous book by Charlotte Moore called George and Sam. She's a journalist and this is a very poignant and in no way self pitying account of her day to day life as a parent of 3 boys, the 2 oldest having Autism. It's incredibly well written and as soon as I finished it, I immediately started it again, I thought it was that good.
I must, in the interests of fairness tell you that she writes for The Guardian (which is 1 of my irrational pet hates) but recently I have been teaching a Mental Health module as part of the A level and have found The Guardian to be a tremendoulsy useful resource. So maybe I will have to change my room 101 to take out The Guardian and it's readers.

I got a really nice text today from someone who I'd thought had forgotten me.

I am very happy.

Monday, 11 February 2008

Makes you proud, doesn't it ?

A very big thank you to Ros for sending me this, it did raise a chuckle which is not mean feat when you think of the rugby, me sad, me very sad.

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally...In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Monday, 4 February 2008


There is no coherence to this post really, it's just a random piece about the things that have happened in the last few days.

The Beautiful Son has gone on a school trip, he's snowboarding in Switzerland, I miss him so much, I'm glad he goes and I'm glad he enjoys it but I just miss his physical presence as he is usually attached to me, it seems strange to not have his hugs. Roll on Saturday, when he's back

I was meant to go to the cinema to see The Kite Runner with the book group as we've just finished the book. I had to cancel as I had no babysitter. The irony of that is that 4 times per week after school I teach a total of 40 students to babysit !!!!!! Oh yes, how my friends laughed when I made my apologies.

I had no babysitter as Eldest Beautiful Daughter went to see her friends band perform. I was also asked to go by one of the students at school - go me ! He handed me the flier which offered " Free sex, if you come" I'm not even going to begin on that one, but as I was reading it, his little face got a bit panicked and he said " Miss, that bit's not for you" okay then...

My washing machine is officially dead, Comet are charging me a grand total of £40.45 to remove my old machine and plumb in the new one. I know it'll take them 10 minutes at best. I am not going to depress myself by working out what percentage of the washing machine price that is .

Beautiful Baby Daughter got the most fantastic report card, she seems to be storming along academically and is still engaged in her learning. Again I am not going to depress myself by wondering when she will switch off. She will continue to be a teacher's dream.... (unlike her siblings)

I had a really sleepless night on Saturday as EBD and her friend failed to come home on time, not just a bit late, but hours late, allegedly they fell asleep at someone elses house (ok then) and neither had taken a phone. I really felt so alone, just sitting there worrying and crying, knowing that I can't go and look for her as she wouldn't have a key to get back in and having BBD alseep in bed, I can't remember when I felt I needed someone to help me so acutely, I just wanted someone there with me, to support me. So being the mean old bag that I am I phoned her dad and made him have a sleepless night worrying about her too. I found myself about to apologize for this but stopped myself, just because I have full time residency of them, it doesn't mean that they're not his kids and not his worries too, right ?

The 6 nations have started, Ireland won, England got beat and so did we, at Murrayfield as well. Never mind, there's always next week.

Every night before I go to sleep I try and think of 5 good things that have happened in the day. I am trying to focus on the positves in my life. I read somewhere that for happiness, you can actually " Fake it till you make it"

So, that's what I'm keeping doing, doing the things that make me content and counting my blessings, Pollyanna must be shitting herself !!!