Going to my mammies

Lucky lucky me. Not only did I have the sense to retrain as a teacher and get the most fab job in the world, they also give me loads of money and I get lots of holidays. Only some of that last sentence is true.

The beautiful children stopped school for a 2 week Easter break yesterday and as is my wont I will drive up to Scotland for a visit to my parents, sister and friends.

Had the fantastic news that my sister is having a baby in November and all seems to be well ( unfortunately this hasn't always been the case) so I am really thrilled as I hope to move home next year and will be able to see this wee one regularly, her other 2 were born after I moved to England. As it's unlikely I will have any more of my own it will be lovely to spoil this one and I'm sure my sister will appreciate the babysitting !

Always a bit strange to stay in your childhood home as an adult. I tend to revert back to my teenage grumpy self, arguing over the telly and moaning that there are no good biscuits. It's harder now as my parents have 5 tv sets, I don't even begin to understand why as there are only 2 of them. Each tv has a dvd player and freeview on it as well !!! Some of them are the fancy plasma screen ones that hang on your wall like a picture. They obviously waited till my sister and I had left home before getting what they wanted, scared to make it too nice in case we never left. They must now be really scared that I'll move back in with the beautiful children in tow, they have way more gadgets than us. I must say it really is my dad that buys all this kind of stuff. Last time I visited he gave me a spare dvd player and a freeview box, who has spare dvd players ?( men that's who) Again I sound like a man hater, which is unfair as I like at least 2.

So a little break for me, I will see you in the next fortnight, I know some of you are away but I hope that I can catch up with the ones who are around, I will be in the Mother Country until the 20th or thereabouts. Have a great Easter and love to you all.xxx

Rugby Cup Final May 12th 2007

The beautiful son's all happy today. He's got a place on a school trip to go and see the rugby premiership finals. They get to go watch the game at Twickenham, meet some of the players and get their photo taken with the trophy, which if you're an 11 year old rugby mad hooker then it's the dog's. It's between Leicester Tigers and some other team ( don't ask me I'm a girl).

Last night when I was filling out the permission slip and writing the cheque for £39,( see newfie that's why I've no money) I said to him that because it was so expensive he'd have to be really nice to me

" ok what do you want me to do?" he says

" bring me home Danny Hipkiss" I replied

and God love my daft wee wean he says quite seriously to me

" I don't think Mr Watson's got a spare seat on the coach for him"

I love my son

Weekend of Woe

Is there no end to my misery ?

I've found out that Percy Pigs which are the only sweets I eat,( I don't even eat chocolate) contain pork gelatine.

I've been copiously sick and felt queasy all night. All settled in for the night, feet up, film on , finished the bag and when folding it up to throw at the bin, read the words that strike fear into the heart of every vegetarian.

Pork Gelatine

I now hate Marks and feckin Spencers

My credit card bill

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD

My bill's just arrived and according to them (who am I to disbelieve them, they're grown ups with calculators and computers and stuff) I have spent £901.96

IN A MONTH

Oh feckity feckity feck

I cannot even begin to count up what is legitimate shopping and what is my financial bulimia.

Life of Pi

Life of pi## more like it. My latest book club read, there's 3 hours of my life I'm never gonna get back.

If she says "my husband thinks it's one of THE books you must read in your life" one more time

Why are we listening to her husbands poxy recommendations anyway, he's not in our feckin bookgroup and his other "must reads" have been shite too.

Ok rant over

Redressing the balance

Never let it be said that I'm an unfair woman. I will fess up to my quite particularly feminine bad habits. On Thursday I went into Marks and Spencers to buy milk, ok, milk and percy pigs. They now do a massive 400g bag incidentally. After spending £32.23 I realised that I am an illicit shopper and I suffer from waste your money syndrome.

My milk cost £1.20, my percy pigs £1.99, I also bought some choc biscuits 99p, chocolate melt in the middle puddings £1.24, custard £1.09 and a pizza £1.74. Thats my legitimate shopping, cost about £8.50 at best.

I also bought 2 bunches of white tulips at £2.99 each - excuse they are my favourite flowers and they're not around for long.
A pair of fancy hold ups, in case I need them cost £4
2 birthday cards because they're always handy to have £2
Natural cotton scented candle because I love candles and this one smelled nice cost £12
Total cost of waste your money shopping £24

The real reason for this splurge was because earlier on in the day I had refrained from buying THE most fabulous shoes from Flannels in Birmingham, beautiful exquisite black satin PRADA 4 inch stiletto heeled f#ck me slingbacks cost £245.

So because I was a good girl and didn't buy THE SHOES in my head I had "saved" all that money and deserved a treat.

I will say that I am not representative of my gender as a whole, other women might have bought the shoes and I am due to go to regional headquarters in Birmingham again soon......

Big boys toys

Recently I've had to take some flack about my aren't men a bit silly type posts. I know someone who is fully expecting to be ripped apart by my disparaging comments and pithy wit about the hobbies they fessed up to last night. I threw back my head and laughed like a musketeer on hearing the full extent of his big boy little boy hobbies. Like I said, women just find them weird. Am I going to renounce you in print ?, not me, my mother always taught me not to mock the afflicted.

Obi Wan Kenobi

In a recent auction held at Bonham's in London, Obi Wan Kenobi's cloak sold for £54,000.
You just know it was a bloke who bought it don't you ?

Mo Chridhe

As I start to write this at 10 36 pm March 11th 2007 , exactly 15 years ago at 10 36 pm on March 11th 1992 my beautiful eldest daughter was born. She was a much longed for baby and I was so enchanted with her, she was perfect in every way.
Now at 15 she has surpassed all my expectations for her, she is happy, kind, smart, funny and beautiful beyond measure. She is so full of life and has great friends who love her and she is just fabulous. I am extremely priviledged to be a part of her life and I enjoy each day with her, conscious now of the clock ticking down to when she will leave my nest to start out on her own. She is my delight and I love her more than I can ever express. She is my bright shining star and my heart, mo chridhe.

Birds of a Feather

Eldest beautiful daughter and I were in town yesterday. Wandering around we found ourselves outside the beautiful son's favourite shop ( ok it's the only shop he likes ). It's called Games Workshop and is recognizable by the aroma of Eau de Small Boy and Weird Man than radiates from it. Inside is a parallel universe only inhabited by blokes, the only women there were obviously mummies ( some of them accompanying grown ups too ). Males of assorted ages and sizes were painting figures and playing with the little soldiers having battles

I rang the beautiful son and asked him if he wanted anything and he proceeded to give me an introduction to the strange world of Warhammer.As far as I can gather, it is small soldiers that you have wars with and it is to do with Lord of the Rings. I must admit I stopped listening and concentrating very early on. He needed some paints and the list was scab red, bestial brown, chaos black and boltgun metal, he also wanted some Urakhai warriors ( this is very probably the wrong spelling, but I have no care ). The shop assistants were very helpful ( all male and earnestly enjoying their job). The nice boy at the till shared with me that he had been playing for 11 years and could have bought a small house with the money he's spent ! I could well believe it. The beautiful sons 4 paints and a few soldiers came to £23. Still it's better than online poker or internet porn.

Outside eldest beautiful daughter remarked on how sad it was to have so so many boys but no hot ones. She also said she's never seen so many geeks in one place ( bear in mind she looks like Bride of Dracula) !! Just then we passed members of her own tribe The Emo and their affiliated tribe The Goth all being individual collectively, and I smiled.

Blood Diamond

I've been allowed out again and I went to the cinema to see Blood Diamond. I am becoming tremendously impressed with Leonardo Di Caprio and have added him to my evergrowing list. It was another really long film and I spent much of it with my eyes closed as I can't watch people being hurt, wrong film for me really.

At the end, it gives you all the stats about the deaths surrounding this issue. It did make me feel slightly uneasy as I have been lucky enough to amass a tidy collection of jewellery that I am inordinately fond of. I am particularly enamoured of Lime Blue on George St, they even give you sweeties in a little box with their name on. How good is that ? The first time I remember being disappointed that it was Quality Street inside, it seemed such an ordinary sweetie to give you because their jewellery is stunning. Anyway I digress, it asked at the end of the film if when next purchasing a diamond, you could check if your diamond was conflict free.

You could just imagine your average Saturday boy or girl's face in your local H. Samuel, Ratners or Argos, when asked "Is this diamond conflict free ?"

" Eh ?!?!"

Pictures on my phone

God is good.

Following on from the last post about the beautiful boy on my phone, I now have 3 pictures of him. I can assure you that the girl he wants to date will be very happy when she unwraps him. Should I let him know he's got the wrong number, so he knows that the girl he wants isn't ignoring him or just wait and hope for the money shot?

I also got sent another picture to my phone, it too is lovely in it's own way, a beautiful pint of the black stuff all the way from it's home in the Emerald Isle. I have a kind friend who heard about the boy pictures and wanted to enhance my collection or maybe just make me jealous that I'm not in Ireland too.

So now, all I need for instant happiness are photos on my phone of

Percy pigs
Venti skinny cinnamon lattes (no whipped cream )
Prada handbags
Jimmy Choos/Manolo Blahniks/Christian Laboutin new season strappy sandals
One Devonshire Gardens
Edinburgh Castle with fireworks
Olu beach

I've already got the boy and the guinness, so please feel free to forward me any nice images to brighten up my day.