Thursday, 4 April 2013

My Saturdays




5 am - Small boy (aka The Boy Wonder if you read my husband's blog and if you don't, please do, it's over HERE )awakens and shares every thought he has in his head with us. This can last a long time, he thinks a lot, usually about stuff I know nothing of. If we are lucky he will go back to his room and play, there is still a lot of chat but it is further away and occasionally I can get back to sleep. If he needs company his dad will oblige and I will try and sleep on until...

6.30am - a teenager's alarm will go off. They will be blissfully unaware of the alarm THAT IS RIGHT BESIDE THEIR HEAD and will sleep through it, I will hear from 3 rooms away this alarm and will get up and switch it off for them. Sometimes I can switch off 2 teenagers alarms for them. The Beautiful Husband is thinking of making an alarm clock that only teenagers can hear to save my sanity. I will go back to bed until

7am - when I have to get The Beautiful Son up for his paper round, I will continue this wakening at

7.15am, 7.30am, 7.45am, 8am, 8.15 before I reach full fat cross shouty shreikery at 8.30am and he gives in and gets up.

9.30am is swimming lessons and I get to stay home to tidy up and do laundry whilst The Beautiful Husband encourages the small boy to stop talking and swim. TBH fancies himself as a swimming coach and is particularly proud of his "waft the trump" TM explanation of hand position.

10.30 am is library time followed by Costa coffee, this is nice, we like this, we are cheerful and small boy is chatty, chatty with cake is his favourite. He is excellent at both.

12.00 - will be home and lunch and lego, accompanied by chat.

2pm may see older children appear looking for food and hangover cures, then they will then return to their burrow when small boy starts to chat to them

The afternoon will probably be spent going to see houses and deciding we can't live in them, we do that a lot, we are excellent in finding houses not to buy.

Tea time will be good, followed by shower and stories for small boy, then he will by 8pm be in bed.

At 8pm, we will be contemplating a large glass of wine and a chat, with each other because despite being together all day we have been unable to say 2 uninterrupted words to one another. We will then be joined by 1 or both of the teenage children who have spent the day in bed and are now bored and in need of someone to chat to. The Beautiful Husband is convinced the children have a rota that NEVER EVER allows us to be alone. If by some small chance they both leave the small boy will get up and need a drink/a chat/something or Eldest Beautiful Daughter will come home for the weekend.

At 10.30 pm, we will go to bed as we have been exhausted by the children. The teenagers will go out, throwing their heads back with glee and an air of my work here is done, it they had moustaches they would twirl them, along with an mwah ha ha ha laugh.

Midnight will see a teenager waking us up as they try to be quiet, occasionally accompanied by vomiting.

2am will see the teenager who isn't home come home and wake us up with trying to be quiet.

5am will see the small boy awake and fully refreshed from his 9 hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep and just raring to go, he's got a whole load of thoughts he just has to share with us.

18 comments:

libby said...

I know it is hard to believe but you will miss all the noise and activity one day...honestly xx

auntiegwen said...

Libs - yep, but by then dementia will have kicked in and we won't know we miss it or remember how to enjoy it !!!! xx

Nota Bene said...

OK. You really need to stop all that 6.30 - 9.00 nonsense...put head under pillow and let them discover independence. Just a suggestion.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Yep my children are the exact same, I still have not worked out how to have alone time *looks over at tween on sofa whom I am too tired to send to bed*

Gigi said...

Oh I remember having a very chatty small boy quite some time ago! It can be utterly exhausting.

And yes, it does seem that the children have concocted a plan so that you are never ever alone.

Ayak said...

You know you really will miss it when you don't have it anymore...I do :-(

auntiegwen said...

NB - I know, but come September Jack will be at uni and I don't expect he will have a paper round. As for independence???? my children cut the umbilical cord, Heaven forfend

LFBS - alone time is a myth at the moment

Gigi - the small boy keeps up a running commentary from the minute he wakes until the minute he sleeps, he even talks in his sleep. He once fell asleep mid sentence in the car and then as soon as his eyes opened he carried on talking. I can't do conversation until I am 2 coffees in to the day

Ayak - I'm sure I will but when you haven't had an evening alone in over a year, you kind of long for it...

sandiart said...

Haha, I did a fair snort or three through this, soooo funny, sorry for laughing at your lack of sleep and chewed off ear.
xx Sandi

auntiegwen said...

Sandi - no worries, I will send them over to you for a nice wee holiday at their auntie Sandie :) xxx

sandiart said...

I shouldn't have laughed then?
xx Sandi

auntiegwen said...

Sandi - I think you should have them, just so you can verify how mental they actually are! xx

Trish Burgess said...

I remember weekends when we actually did things and went to places. Once teenagers come along, by the time they've been hoisted from their bed, it's too late to go anywhere.

Curry Queen said...

Jeez, we could swap houses and nobody would notice the difference. Especially with the alarm clock scenario :( And then they go out and stay over with friends but never turn the bleeding alarm clock off, so it goes off at the crack of dawn the next morning when nobody needs to get up....aaaaagh

Helena said...

LoL.....I'm right up there with Libby. I really miss the coughie mornings and Walton's good nights. I can't wait for my daughter to arrive on her spring visit and clutter everywhere.

auntiegwen said...

Trish - oh I know the feeling, we can be out with small boy at the crack of sparrows and back by 3 by which time the teens are just emerging from their crypt...

auntiegwen said...

CQ - that drives me mental, they never ever remember to turn them off do they? glad I'm not on my own

auntiegwen said...

Lena - I look forward to eldest daughter coming back to visit too, I know when I actually get rid of Jack and Lucy I will enjoy them coming back to visit.

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