The Mother Country

I wish I could do something clever and blast you out a bit of prime Scottish music to signify that I am in The Mother Country. Had a really good journey today and when I crossed the border into Gretna Green the sun was shining, always so good to be home.

My gadget mad dad has bought yet another wide screen tv and this one is ENORMOUS, he has also bought a laminator( porqoui ?) but the most bizarre purchase of all is ( in the interests of fairness I don't know who is responsible, it could be either one of my mad parents) they have bought a mirrored toilet seat !

No, I had no idea that such things existed either, is there a site called badtaste.com or moremoneythanyouknowwhattodowith.com or spenditbeforeyougo.com. ?

I did ask why (after being fairly startled on a visit to the loo) and I was told it was chrome and was to match the other accessories. well, fair enough.

I am going to take a photo of this toilet seat and post it at a later date as I don't have a camera connection whojaflip with me at my mammy's.

Glasgow ex European city of culture, now home of the mirrored toilet seat, it's great to be home

Tech feckin ology

It is a well known fact that I struggle with technology. Last week I was slagging off my head of department Ricky for being on Facebook, asking him why when he's a grown up and he told my learners that Miss is 20th century and he's 21st... very true

The Beautiful Eldest Daughter was given a swanky new laptop for her birthday and waited at least 17 minutes before demanding that she be allowed internet access. It sounds quite simple, we have broadband, someone tried to set up a wireless router for me a few months ago when I got my laptop but it didn't work. Now I accepted that some technology just isn't for me, I only use my laptop for work stuff and I now have a wee stick thing I save stuff on and then if required, one of the Beautiful Children will email it from the main pc. So I have managed to not require this router thingy to work. I adapt to what I have available, very 20th century.

Will this be acceptable for herself, oh no. She got her dad to get a new router and he spent a huge ammount of time trying to get that to work. The problem appears to be that our pc is ancient, it is so slow, has no sound and has to have a wee rest after an hour or so (a bit like me really !!!) and does not have something that sounds like ethanet drivers, I neither know nor care.

The upshot of this is not only have I forked out for a new laptop for her and 2 routers I now have to buy a new pc to allow her to access myspace from her bed. The whole point of the laptop was for homework, which last time I checked didn't include myspace or msn as part of the gcse curriculum.

Tech feckin ology .. it's the future and it's expensive

Easter Joy

Oh yes, your auntie is happy again. I stopped work for the 2 week Easter holidays after work on Thursday. The nice thing about having so many teachers read your blog is that no one moans about the holidays the way that other people do.

I have only 2 x 2000 word assignments to mark for the nursery nurses. I have 7 x 50 mark questions to mark for the A level students and another 7 x 50 mark questions to internally moderate. Easy peasy.

The Beautiful Son has returned relatively undamaged from his rugby weekend, he played in a tournament and scored a try. He also saw the Tigers victory at The Millenium Stadium ( I am just about to check out how old Andy Goode is as I think he can replace Dimitri Szarzewski in my CSL )

The Beautiful Eldest Daughter is a mass of seething hormones and is best avoided at present but the omnipresent chocolate may help. I can but dream.

The Beautiful Baby Daughter is a mass of fizzing energy which was noticed more by me as it was just the 2 of us all weekend as the others were away. I am frankly exhausted, she never sits still, we shopped, played, danced, drew, make hama beads, Easter baskets and cards !! Before we had finidhed one thing she was asking what we were going to do next !!! I know why she has so much energy, it's because she has completely drained me of mine !

I am going home to The Mother Country this week. I like to take my children to The Beautiful Parents as it's the only time they get a home cooked meal. I also like to see what my gadget mad dad had been spending my inheritence on.

So if you're around Glasgow or Edinburgh this week and you fancy meeting up for coffee, lunch or just wine, let me know. If not I'll catch up with you in Blogland.

Them feckin Italians

I know I have irrational prejudices against the Italians and it's something I'm working on but what about that wee feckin italian with his drop goal 40 secs from time to win the match ? Feckers.

That seems like God just wants me to keep hating them.

No real connection except rugby, but I am pleased to announce I have found a new man to head my celebrity shag list. He is called Dimitri Szarzewski, he plays no 2 ( which is hooker, and that is a real rugby position, honest!) for France. His club is Staid Francais. He is sooooooooo beautiful, I have not even checked out how old he is (even in fantasy, I won't do it if they are more than 5 years younger than me). He reminds me of Prince Charming in Shrek.

Please click on the wee thingybob and you will see him ( I hope) What can I say gratuitous images of men, my mother will be shocked. Is this the first case of rugby porn ?http://www.weshow.com/uk/p/28599/dimitri_szarzewski_dieux_du_stade_2008

And no you can't have him, I saw him first.

PS - When trying to find a picture of him, I've been routing round in cyberspace and I've found out he's only 25, I ve now gone off him now, too young but I've left the thingy in case you're a - younger than me or b - not bothered

Eldest Beautiful Daughter

Tomorrow my beautiful girl will be 16. She has always been a delight to me and I cannot imagine life without her, way too boring. She is a gorgeous mixture of part adult part baby, she looks so grown up sometimes and at others I can still see her with pigtails and a lollipop.

I really must fess up and say I haven't done her any favours in the growing up stakes. I have done everything for her and consequently she is not a fully functioning human yet. I shudder to think how she'll manage living independently. She doesn't know how to clean, use a washing machine or iron. She can only make toast, spaghetti hoops and tinned soup. She has never used a cash machine, paid a bill or made an appointment for the Dr's, dentist or optician. I do all of that for her, she can't even ask a sales assistant in a shop for anything, I have to ask if they've got it in a 6.

But she is kind, funny, smart and extremely beautiful and I have 2 years to teach her how to live. So join with me in wishing her the best year yet, she is my beloved first child, I cannot tell you how much I love her, she is my heart, Mo Chridhe

15-9

Oh tis a good day to be Scottish in England.
All hail the mighty Chris.
Dan Parks didn't look too shabby either

Johnny who ?

Technological assistance sought

Oh feckity feckity feck, I'm in trouble. Work had lent me a laptop as our PC is ancient and fairly crap. Being very foolish, I have allowed The Beautiful Children to use it. Now all the font has become absolutely massive, Eldest Beautiful Daughter has fiddled with it and put the font sizes setting to normal but it still remains massive.

Some of the little x s you click on to shut down (DO NOT FECKIN LAUGH AT MY TERMINOLOGY, I AM WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE LEARNED THIS) anyway, some of the little x's look like the colour has run on them like something has spilled on them.

If you can explain how to fix this in a way my addled brain can comprehend, please please help before I have to fess up to work.

PS
I have been chosen to receive a lovely Busy Bee award from Tom Foolery, many thanks to you sweetie, but due to my complete technological ineptitude I can't show it. It will join my Rockin Girl award from Lisa Q and my Courageous Blogger award from Newfie in my little cyber drawer of nice things. It's not that I don't appreciate it, honest !