Friday, 11 December 2009

Reasons I am a "failed grown up" tm The Beautiful Children

I am a disorganised Mummy and didn't check the schedule for the weekend.

I now have to be driving to Sheffield to buy gig tickets as part of a Christmas surprise for The Beautiful Son (don't trust anyone to post them as they may not be real) at the same time as taking Beautiful Baby Daughter to her Girls Brigade Church parade. She will now have to walk to church and as we all know that I am a horrible overcontrolling mummy I won't let her go on her own that means Eldest Beautiful Daughter will have to walk her and be my replacement. EBD's cup of joy runneth over at the thought of getting up and being in church with a hangover. BBD's cup of joy runneth over at having to get EBD up and out and grumpy at being there. I have pissed off both the daughters at the same time. I am too scared to tell them where and why I am going as it would piss them off even more that the recipient of such a hard to get treat will be snoring his fat head off in bed as opposed to walking the 20 mins to church in the rain. And you know it will be raining.

I got overexcited and didn't check dates

I spent most of last Friday morning and £160 buying Peter Kay concert tickets as part of The Beautiful Children's Christmas present. When I got the confirmation email I realised that they are for April 2011. Eldest Beautiful Daughter won't even be living here then. Happy Christmas, you have to wait 16 months to enjoy it.

General failure of life stuff

I have got to provide bank statements and credit card statements for the last year as part of my divorce. Hmm, enough said.

I have to count up all mine and the children's total cost of living, how much we spend on absolutely everything and I am scared to do that level of real maths. I can do shoe and handbag and nice lady things maths (I can spend £165 on these LK Bennett shoes or I can buy the £66 charcoal grey Kew longline cardie and the £85 black and plum leather Kew tote and a new Mac lipstick)

General I still behave like a teenager stuff

I am overgiddy with excitement because we have sublet one of our unused office rooms to the site managers from the buidling site next door. There are men in and out all day long. Surveyorie type men and builderie type men. There are lots and lots of men. In hard hats, with tool belts and in our kitchen being manly. I reek of DKNY woman, am wearing really nice clothes to work and my lipgloss application has tripled. The builderie and surveyorie type men all seem pleased to see me and pop up to my office to see if I want a cup of tea made for me. I am extremely enamoured of this type of office perk. Extremely.

17 comments:

Working Mum said...

AG - you kill me! I like the Lady things maths - is that the one where a £200 handbag is a necessity, but £4 for a punnet of strawberries is daylight robbery! He he he!

btw am very jealous you got Peter Kay tickets even if it is for 2011, if your kids have left, can I come with?

Working Mum said...

Just realised, I was the first commentor on that post - I have first dibs on those tickets!!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

very funny, very true, very sad....

bless you...you are so brave...

Nota Bene said...

So glad I read this at Friday 5.30...end of a long, long week and this made me larff out lowd

Expat mum said...

2011 - ugh, I get all claustrophobic when I have plans that far ahead. Mind you, it wouldn't be a harship with Peter Kay tickets.

indigo16 said...

My sister too bought the Peter Kay tickets and realised it was not for another 16 months! I'm not sure he'll be alive with a schedule like that.
I spend my whole life chasing my tail, and getting the blame for it. Nothing we do pleases our harshest critics (the sprogs) but yet we are doomed to keep on trying!

scrappysue said...

hehe - i turned up to rhys darby concert - on the wrong night!!! i feel ya!

Shirley said...

Um, 'scuze me, but who or what is Peter Kay? (There now, don't you feel better? Someone is even less with-it than you.) ;-)

Wondering if the nasty co-workers are better behaved, what with all the manly men around . . .

auntiegwen said...

WM - so so true, you should have come with me to see Grumpy Old Women on Wednesday, you'd have loved it and absolutely you have first dibs on the Peter Kay ticket.

Saz - brave and foolish in equal measure !!!,please don't feel even a teeny tiny bit sorry for me I have an amazingily happy life and the ones I love are healthy and happy and in that I am the luckiest woman around, I just like to have a wee moan and a bump of my gums every now and again, sorry if I'm too maudlin and scaring you all :)

NB - glad to be of some use to you

Expat Mum - I know, I love Peter Kay

Alison - I nearly wrote that but then was scared I'd jinx him, I always blame myself for Paul McStay missing his penalty in a Celtic v rangers cup final as I sent miss miss miss thoughts and he looked so unhappy afterwards and his wee child was crying in the crowd. I know I overestimate my mental powers and importance.

Sue - poor you, hope you were too early rather than too late

Shirley - he is a English comedian and very funny, he hasn't toured in 7 years so his shows are very hard to get tickets for. Youtube him. My co workers are actually very nice, it's me, I'm a total total bitch.

Secretia said...

Maybe time for some new romance?

Secretia

A Woman Of No Importance said...

It is lovely that you share something of my life experiences at times, Beautiful Auntie Gwennie - I think you are every inch a scrummy mummy and that the TBCs will be delighted with the tix! Have a fab, fraught weekend! x

Madame DeFarge said...

Blimey, makes my life seem positively ordinary. Impressed you even get out of bed with this much ahead of you.

Mom/Mum said...

Hello you - love the 'new' lipglossed you sashaying round your house cause there's men - lots of men around!! V funny. I;d do exactrly the same.
And am sooo jealous of the Peter kay tickets. do you think you could send im over here for, er, 2012?!!! xx

auntiegwen said...

Secretia - I like the idea of it, as an abstract concept but the reality of it I'm much less keen on.

Fhi - dear heart, you must put your glasses on, slummy mummy more like :) hope you had a good weekend too.

Madame - would you like to come and help me? (seeing as how you're doing the course in big sums)

Mom/Mum - absolutely, I am such a sad article as I'd run a mile if they actually asked me out.

Matthew said...

Deep in my mind all those days ago it registered that you'd updated. I didn't get here before now and the timing was perfect. Thanks for the smiles yet again.

Lena said...

Ouch! I've flashbacks of my own divorce paper works! I ended up marrying my lawyer's 2nd cousin, second time round!

And we'll always duff up from time to time with the kiddies. All in all, life never runs smooth for me, either!

auntiegwen said...

Matthew - you are most welcome :)

Lena - oh no, once bitten twice shy