Saturday 16 July 2011

They love me really

You would think that my children would be filled with gratitude for the, frankly, top notch mothering that they receive. So much so that they worship and adore their Mummy darling and their every waking moment is dedicated to thanking me for my efforts, they are fulsome in their praise, compliments drip honeyedly from their lips, because they think I'm worth it.

Not so much.

My children have all inherited my smart arse gene and they think they are funny, which they are, not as funny as me obviously, but occasionally they have been known to utter a funny wee one liner.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter, whilst looking at my new Marks and Spencer step tone "eat all you like and still lose 3 stone in a day" flip flops

" Those are hideous, you look like a reject from mermaid school"

The Beautiful Son - "if you get any shorter you can officially be a tall dwarf, the height cut off point for that is 4 foot 11"

Beautiful baby daughter - " when you're old and demented you can live with me, well older and more demented. I mean all I have to do is give you a cup of tea and a plant to water and you'll be dead happy"

At which point they all join in, wandering around on their knees like a cross between Yoda and Dobby the house elf and saying "cup of tea, plant to water, mummy happy" over and over again.

Again, this is what passes for entertainment in my house.


Elderberry-Rob said...

I think your feet look very nice. when your kids find you embarrassing that's when I think you have become old - so I have been old since I was 40.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Ouch!! What do you say in response to them auntiegwen?

auntiegwen said...

Betty - I think I must be around the same

LFBS - I just laugh, it's quite true I have become strangely obsessed with watering my hanging basket and recently I was bought a tree in a pot, it's a hibiscus which are both at the front door and I seem to lavish quite ab it of care on them

Sueann said...

Gee! Just when I was missing kids in the house you posted this. Now I am glad I am alone!!! Just me and hubby and no demented children!! Ha!!
Now my grandkids, on the other hand, think we rock!!
Gotta love it!

Troy said...

Well the good thing about being old and demented is that you re-post the same blog every day.

Gigi said...

My son treats me the same; where is the love?!

Ayak said...

You know what's worse? When you say something and the only response you get is an exasperated sigh...stops me dead in my tracks I can tell you.

Anonymous said...

They are a disrespectful generation - I would never have said the things they say to me to my mother; still wouldn't. Oddly, or perhaps not so oddly, It's the 'you sound just like Nanna' that gets me.

family affairs said...

I would be a truly awful person if I didn't have children taking the piss out of me all day long - love the mermaid school reject comment. Brilliant x

Curry Queen said...

Oh that all sounds horribly familiar - I get that sort of abuse too!

AGuidingLife said...

I just felt the mumsy purse snap tight shut :) There must be an island somewhere to send all these damned cocky kids to. Is Ibiza still open or is it already overrun with them?

Sandi said...

If its any comfort I like them too, I love the nail polish color, am getting daughter to buy me a cardi in that color, she works in a dress shop and is there today....hope she remembers!!
x Sandi

A Woman Of No Importance said...

You (and your smartarse humour gene!) have only yourself to blame, BAGgie! Love them! xxx

Anonymous said...

Fekkin feckers! I too live with totally ungrateful children, who suck the livin energy outa me. I am taxi driver, cook, cleaner, cat shit clearer-upper, money provider AND butt of all jokes....and I now need to go to ASDA at 7am tomorrow to buy darling son a pair of trackie bottoms AND a tee shirt in his house colours for sports day tomorrow...because...I did not read the Parent mail that I got at midnight on Friday telling me all this....despite the boy knowing about this FOR TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!Jeeze. Maybe we should set up a club Aunty G - or join holy orders - Demented Mothers of Ungrateful Feckers. Harrumph!! XX

Wylye Girl said...

Well I like you flippy flops. The colour would set off my purple broken toe really nicely. I've invited you to take part in the Seven Links Project if you can be arsed. Details on my blog!

Trish said...

The 'reject from mermaid school' retort is so clever on many levels. Hard to get cross with genius like this but revenge is always possible.

auntiegwen said...

SueAnn - my kids think my parents are fab too, I'll just have to wait for my grandlids to appreciate me :)

Troy - ssh don't tell everyone my secret, I only blog about my kids, my sad life, my kids repeat to fade

Gigi - I think we have to wait till we become grandmas

Ayak - accompanied with a roll of the eyes!

Alienne - so true, I'd never backchat my mother the way they do me, when the kids to it to me she joins in!!!! can't win

Lu - yeah, I'd have the ego of a normal person if it wasn't for the kids!!!!

CQ - welcome to the club, we have gin :)

S - you are the kind of parent I aspire to be, firm and fair, I am just a big fat pushover

Sandi - I've gone off them now, they do look a bit bling for me :(

Fhina - I'm glad you love them, I've left you them in my will :) xxx

Mae - we have so got to set up that order, can we still have gin? xxxx

WG - I have it on my to do list, and it will get done but like all things with me, takes aaages

Trish - I like your thinking

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I shall clear the back bedroom for the, just in case - Mind, it's Grizz's room aready, but I know he won't mind! ;) xxx

Taz said...

Isn't having kids supposed to be like a form of self-torture or did I get it the wrong pamphlet?

auntiegwen said...

Fhina - he's living in splendour anyway, his student digs sound better than my house!!!

Taz - I know, we must both have martyr complexes!!!!