Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Ah, that explains it

I love my children, truly I do, despite offering to send them to live with other bloggers regularly, clearly I only do that so I can share their wonderfullness with the world.

Ahem.

I have been a Mummy for a very long time and I think I have a fair opinion of my offspring (I did type fruit of my loins but I had to delete it, it grossed even me out) I am not one of the showy offy type mummies, I do not regale others of my childs academic achievements overly much, I don't make you listen to their musical offerings or insist you peruse their artistic endeavours. I am much more likely to share their WTF moments. I am most definitely not the parent who thinks their child is the new Messiah, I am fairly realistic of their good and bad points.

Last night was parents evening at Beautiful Baby Daughter's school, this is the same school I used to teach at, so when they are talking to me, I know exactly what they are trying to say, there is no point in putting high heels and lipstick on it, I get told straight. This is not a big worry really as BBD has not inherited the "can't be arsed" gene, she has always been the sort that pushes herself and gets involved in everything, she's not naughty and she goes every day so parents evening throws up few surprises usually.

Her form tutor went through her interim report, subject by subject, explained her FFT predicted grades and then offered points for improvement.

For those of you who know the BBD, swallow anything you have in your mouth, do not put anything back in until you've finished reading this post, I do not want to be sent the bill for laptop repairs because you've spat all over your computer, I am skint and I've several weans and a Hot Boy to take to Florida, more specifically Harry Potter land at Easter. Consider yourself warned.

BBD's form tutor feels that the only thing that could be improved is if she spoke more in form, contibuted and shared her opinions more. Yep, that's right, my child, the one who talks at me till my ears bleed, the one who barristers practice their debating skills with, the one we call Chatty Annie or less kindly, Little Miss Last Word.

After I'd made a holy show of myself by laughing, I explained that she's only been quiet for about 15 minutes of her 15 years, he looked totally perplexed, apparently she never says a word, he didn't realise she was Scottish because he'd never heard her say more than "here" when he does the register.

And the reason for this, dear readers, explained with uncharacteristic succinctness by BBD

" For goodness sake Mummy, of course I don't say anything, I'm not awake yet in form time"

18 comments:

Nota Bene said...

Ah, the 'I can't be arsed to speak gene'...

auntiegwen said...

NB - oh if only, do you think Santa will give me that for Christmas?

Autumn Mist said...

Sometimes they make you wonder if they've got the right child, don't they? My sister's school reports used to say, 'L is a quiet and conscientious worker,' and she never shut up at home, either! For my school reports they used to insert extra sheets of paper so they could describe me at greater length - LOL!

Gigi said...

I used to go to those things and wonder whose child they were telling me about; because it certainly wasn't mine!

Nikkii said...

I take photo of whatever child is being discussed - just to make sure they've got the right one....

auntiegwen said...

AM - ah yes, a woman after my own heart :)

Gigi - I alternate between being pleased they're not too annoying to world at large and being cross they're not as nice at home

Nikki - good strategy

Anonymous said...

Oh Auntie Gwen, you do make me laugh -especially needed after a day like today! I have the male equivalent of your beautiful daughter - quiet and angelic at school and never shuts up at home till my head spins - wouldn't swap him for the world though! Keep writing frequently, love Chris

Kelloggsville said...

I took at photo to the last parents evening as their comments at the one previous had confused me so much. But why would anyone want to talk in form period, waste of words!

libby said...

Good head on her shoulders that young'un. Loves talking to her mammy and wakes when she's ready!

Curry Queen said...

Jeez - if only mine could keep quiet in class, we might get to read nice end of term reports...instead I have arsey daughter who will take issue with every damn thing a teacher says and keep at it like a terrier until she is either proved right of the poor teacher hangs himself in the corner of the room!

Alienne said...

Funnily enough, I have just got back from Attila's consultation evening and her teachers all said she should contribute more in form; even her English teacher, and that's her favourite subject. This is the same child that I used to take to the work place playscheme in London as a child and who would start talking as soon I collected her and continue without pause on the bus, crossing the road, on the platform, on the train (a 45 minute commute - to the astonishment of the rest of the carriage) and even on the way up the hill. She can still do it, and does regularly. I assumed it was a can't be arsed to make an effort at school thing, but now I am wondering if she is not awake either. She wouldn't be awake till 1pm at the weekend ....

SueAnn said...

Well that makes perfect sense to me!!
One does have to be awake to participate! Too funny!!
Hugs
SueAnn

auntiegwen said...

Chris - ooh a male equivilent of Luce, I hope you've enough gin in, my dear :) xx

S - indeed, cuts into the sleeping time

Libs - I can send her your way, she'd love the cats xx now, your birthday lunch? when please our treat?? xxx

Cq - ah the arsey daughter, I know it well

Alienne - yep, all those years they got up at feck it's early trained us to wake up then, I can't even enjoy a lie in any more

SueAnn - he doesn't yet know what a lucky escape he's had!!

libby said...

I'll email you AG x

Expat mum said...

Ah teenagers. I frequently have to ask my 16 year old if "everything's OK?" each morning as he does everything in complete silence.
In contrast to my 8 year old, who starts talking about the dream he's just had almost before he's properly woken up!

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Can I just say that I can't wait to read the Hot Boy meets Harry Potter post?

family Affairs said...

VG x

auntiegwen said...

Libs - okay, you already have, how efficient thou art :)

EM - maybe Luce is just worn out talking to me? I would be more than happy to let someone else have my share

LFBS - he's currently in negotiations to get the time off to come, first dibs on school hols go to the parents, he's arguing he is someones child too and they're ruining his dreams of Disney

Lu - oh she can be x