Monday, 5 August 2013

Things I still don't understand, the 2013 summer remix

My family are annoying and odd, maybe your own beloved family have quirk or 6 too or maybe I am quite alone, Queen of the Oddite tribe. I, myself, have no quirks at all, despite old blogs telling you otherwise, mine are just lovely little things that make me adorable to my family, ahem, as you were...

These are this weeks "Why do they do that's"

Why, in the name of God and all things holy, explain to me...

Why is it my Beautiful Baby Daughter's ambition to dye her hair every colour in the paint chart? It's not even a nice Farrow & Ball chart, it's a nasty chart. Currently it is a wishy washy lilac, necessitating bleaching all colour out with peroxide and then adding dye. She looks like a pensioners blue rinse gone manky. Tis hideous and quite startling to the unsuspecting public.

Why must she always completely ignore the special hairdressers dye towel bought specifically to save my real towels? This time she used my en suite and ruined my White Company bathmat and towels, they have peroxide patches and look quite affronted and unaccustomed to such treatment, they are from the White Company and live in my bathroom, with the clean and tidy people. She can't see that there is a problem with a piebald mat and towels, they still work, you may have heard my reply to that smart a*se comment, you may have heard in quite clearly, even if you live in a different county, nay even country to me. And are deaf.

Why does The Beautiful Son think he is on holiday and can lie in till 4pm? If he's not going to university in September, he's UNEMPLOYED (in capitals for emphasis) and

Why does he think that fiddling about on the internet for an hour a day looking at jobs online is job hunting? Not in my book it's not, job hunting is getting your a*se and face vertical and outside of a bed and ASKING (ICFE) or begging people to employ you.

Much as it pains me to say it, as a mere newly wed I don't like to criticise the lovely mr auntiegwen, but The Beautiful Husband has some odd stuff going on too, maybe he caught it from us?, I know not but

Why does he wait until he is turning the corner AND changing gear to put his seatbelt on? Why not do it before you start driving, when you are not trying to do 2 other things as well, some people are more suited to multi tasking than others, he is not one of the chosen ones. I don't want him to die and leave me with them children, I know they're mine and all but I need someone on my team. And a little teeny tiny other thing...

Why must The Beautiful Husband ignore the hand soap at any of the 4 sinks in the house and use the washing up liquid in the kitchen? We have much more liquid soap than washing up liquid (ratio 4-1, in fact) and when we run out I can't quite bring myself to use Dove/carex/whatever is on special offer at the supermarket instead of the Fairy liquid on dishes.

Now please feel free to add your own "Why do they do that's" of your own in the comments, we may even have a prize for the oddest of them. I don't expect it would be an exciting prize but I am happy to come and give out to your nearest and dearest, I am only spectacularly ineffective in my own home.

12 comments:

K Ville said...

Wikipedia suggests dishwashing soap can be used as a form of corporal punishment. If the rolled up newspaper is no longer working on hubby perhaps a slight taste of detergent with every fairy handwash is the way to go.

Gigi said...

And the answer to "Why do they do that" is - To Drive You Out of Your Ever-loving Mind.

At least that's the conclusion I've come to regarding the people I commune with.

Ayak said...

Oh I've got far too many "why do they do that"'s to list them here. I don't think I am very tolerant. My husband does the seat belt thing too.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I only stopped dyeing my hair ten years ago - she'll grow out of it -- take some pictures to embarrass her late maybe?

As for things I don't understand, I have lists too, even simple things like why does everyone else load the dishwasher so there's little pointy things poking down that stop the thing working? Why can I never get enough sleep? Why are there no clothes for women my age that make me actually want to buy them?

I could write about this every week :)

PS I have to take my seat belt off to parallel park, perhaps Mr Auntiegwen is kind of doing that in reverse?

Andy said...

You may call it odd stuff, I like to think of it as 'endearing idiosyncrasies'

Mac n' Janet said...

Why does my daughter who was unemployed for over a year and finally got a job where they LOVE her and pay her accordingly with lots of pay raises and bonus's, do nothing but moan and groan because she doesn't like her job. I told her you're not supposed to like your job, that's why it's called WORK!
And I agree with some of the others, they do it to drive us crazy because obviously we don't have enough to worry about.

auntiegwen said...

K - I bow to your superior knowledge of husbands and children, you are my role model, you are ace xxx

Gigi - I have very little mind left

Ayak - He's Turkish, wearing a seat belt is quite impressive to me

LFBS - yep the dishwasher, the sleep and the clothes, nodding head in vigorous agreement

Andrew - even with the children?... or is it just you that's endearing?

M&J - can she take Jack on? obviously she'll have to wake him up of a morning, feed him, mind him and wash his pants but he's quite entertaining, honest!

libby said...

Oh a list like this could be very very long.........x

auntiegwen said...

Libs - indeed, this could be the first of many posts on this subject xx ps many thanks for birthday text xx

what happened ?how did i get HERE? said...

Hello there! long time no read/write! See all is as it was in your world - and mine! Will add my list soon....Mae xx

what happened ?how did i get HERE? said...

Hello! Long time no write/read. See all is as it ever was in your world and mine - looking after all and sundry and keeping it all afloat!! Will add me list soon! Mae xx

Terrell said...

Gorgeous!