Strange Questions I have been asked in the last week

I get asked questions all the time, you probably do yourself. A lot of mine start "Mummeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, where are my ... ?" or the plaintive "Can I have something to eat ?" or the omnipresent demands for cash for school trips, smart cards, sponsored silences etc etc etc.

I also get asked for advice, people asking me what to do next. But this week work has thrown up child abuse and domestic violence for me to deal with and truth be told, every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I see the faces of those who've confided in me, it's giving me insomnia and nightmares but feck knows that's nothing to what they're going through.

But as ever in the midst of all the mayhem, there have been a few humorous questions thrown my way.

Does my face look like it belongs to me ? - from my EBD. It did but she'd forgotten to put her lipgloss on

Can you be a Tory and dislike the Daily Mail ? - text from my ex's teenage son

Why is todays Google the very hungry caterpillar ? - text from IT God.

Is being 20 any good ? - a student, I don't know I'm 42, I've forgotten

If I get an A in my exam, will you buy BBD a hamster ? - another student who is also BBD's Girls Brigade Leader.

Will you tell my daughter to stop being on facebook till the early hours of the morning ? - a parent, okay will you tell mine ?