Wednesday, 7 November 2007

I want to ride my bicycle

This is a word for word quote from November 4th s edition of The Sunday Times

Cyclist of the week

A hotel guest has been put on the sex offenders register after attempting intercourse with his bicycle. Two cleaners interrupted the man at a hotel in Ayr after they knocked on the door and heard no reply.
" The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to stimulate sex" Ayr sherrif court heard. He will be sentenced later this month after admitting a sexual breach of the peace.

Well, lordy, lordy it takes all sorts doesn't it ? What a shocking waste of tax payers money to prosecute him. I do feel slightly sorry for this man though, I personally wouldn't get my jollies with a bike but I do know grown men who get excited on buses. I kinda feel that if it's an inanimate object and it's in private then it's no bother to your auntie, whatever lights your candle.

Does the hotel have to take some kind of responsibility for this? I mean, why did they decide to call the police ? Hotels make shed loads of money from showing adult movies to lonely sales reps. I mean, if it's a rainy Tuesday night in Ayr and they're showing the Porn De France on pay per view, what do they expect?

10 comments:

Tom Foolery (TF) said...

Poor guy, I wonder if it was a tandem....... TFx

lisa q. said...

true gwenie, but a bike? i thought i'd heard it all! sheesh! :D

Katie said...

Eh, whatever floats your boat. It's a bit weird but ultimately harmless.

ken said...

Food for thought....as a regular cyclist, I have the view that if you take care of your bike it will take care of you....by the way does anyone know how to remove chain lube from cotton sheets?

auntiegwen said...

Makes you realise how vanilla you actually are, doesn't it ?

Apart from you Ken, you seem fairly strange but as a doyenne of the laundry world, I would recommend stain devils followed by a hot wash...

Lena said...

There's far worse and weird go on in hotel rooms! It's them smooth towel rails that I can't resist!

Gwen said...

A bit of a victimless crime if you ask me. It also doesn't say much for the attractions of Ayr.

auntiegwen said...

Lena, I hope it wasn't a heated towel rail !!!

Gwen, too true

ken said...

Check out how much you love your bike here.....

http://www.manchesterfoe.org.uk/lyb/justifylove.php

auntiegwen said...

Ken

You are very strange, I'm sure you're harmless but you are very, very strange....