Tuesday 11 January 2011

Blogger Interuppted

Much as I love blogging my life has a nasty habit of getting in the way of my free time. I lied, I have no free time, I have hardly the time to blow my nose at present. I shan't play "I'm busier than you" Top Trumps because I would win and it would be boring for both you, dear reader and for me.

Edited highlights of the last few weeks

Beautiful Baby Daughter

Continues with her plan of household domination by wearing me down, she is good. She has no end of reasons for why I should give her what she wants, as I've said before top barristers could practice their debating skills with her. Fortunately I love her and this is why she is not dead or living with her Dad. Also she is very good at inserting video clips in my PowerPoint's as I have no patience expanding wee boxes, they are too foutery for me.

The Beautiful Son

Is unhappy, stressed, off his food and not sleeping. For once I can't make it better, he just has to accept that life is changing and he will have to accept it. I can't bear to see him unhappy and I have no control over the circumstances. I am not even meant to know, TBS has been sworn to secrecy and that is something that he can't deal with, so he came home, told me all and I can't do anything as he wasn't meant to tell. Secrets and change, double whammy for him. Pants. Big fat granny pants.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter

Came home for Christmas, made a lot of noise about mess, got upset about siblings saying they preferred her and her moaning about mess to stay at uni. Has to decide whether to find people to share a house with next year at uni or come home and commute in every day. She feels about decision making what TBS feels about change.

Cons in both plans...
Sharing house - there are very few students who will cope with her low mess threshold and her need for strict order in kitchen cupboards, not to mention her need for daily bathroom cleaning.

Coming home - despite the fact we will pay for a lesson a week and take her out to practice and on passing she will be given a car, she has yet to start driving lessons. This is possibly because she will actually have to do this for her own self, this is something she can't offload onto me or Hot Boy, both chief recipients of EBD's offloads. Shall I look in my crystal ball and give you my prediction? She will decide to come home, she will fail to learn to drive, I will spend a frantic 2 weeks before uni term starts trying to find somewhere my pampered princess can cope with living in. Before you start giving out to me, I know it's my fault. Even Hot Boy now texts me with her inability to be more use than a 5 year old and ends with "You raised that"


Despite having a week off at Christmas, I yet again failed to have an Anthea Turner standard of cleanliness. I also failed to do the eleventy million wee jobs that so need doing. I hate cleaning, so do the others who live here, so rather than be accused of nagging I do it, very passive aggressively. I still do as much as I did for my children as I did when they were 4, the only difference is they can bathe and wash their own hair now. I have swapped the bedtime story for the daily telling of "So she said and then I said" though on balance I think I preferred the nightly rendition of The Tiger Who Came to Tea. I can still retell it, every single word verbatim, it's my party piece.


I love it. I don't always love the fact it takes me hours to get there. I can regularly spend 5 hours a day in my car. I also have a ferocious amount of technology to take with me to do my presentations, laptops, speakers, projectors, pointers etc. I am coping (but only if BBD does the bits I can't be arsed with)

My laptop

Still fecked. I have AVG, I have Norton and Norton 360. I think I have got rid of the nasty trojan but now when I try and log on it says Mozilla uses a proxy server and it doesn't have permission and to contact my service administrator. I have no clue who that is. I need the Internet, I haven't read my horoscope for days. I am writing this on my work laptop and I am terrified I will infect this one, the last one appeared when I clicked on someones photo on their blog.

General Failure of life stuff

I am still not divorced.
I can't find a P60.
I need the P60 to fill out the online tax return.
I need to fill out the online form as I filed my paper return with a page I didn't need missing, oh I'm still mithered about that.
I have a leak in my underground water pipe in Turkey. It appears to be an expensive leak.
I lost my work mobile phone.
I had to fess up this to the IT guy at work. The IT guy cowers under his desk and rocks when he sees it's me calling. I think I am accounting for about 90% of his work problems at the moment.
I am fatter than I was before Christmas, and I was fat then.

Now then, have I cheered you all up? made you realise that your life isn't as bad as you thought?

You're welcome.


Anonymous said...

Phew. All I can say is, gin?

Gigi said...

Oh my that is a lot on your plate! No, it didn't make me feel any better but it did help to see that someone else's plate is full and it's not just me.

Ayak said...

Oh dear...not a good start to the new year...far too much going on!

Sorry to hear about the leak...we had this in one of our previous homes...resulting in a huge bill..which we objected to but still had to pay. (Still wish we lived closer to your house so we could help)

libby said...

Oh my oh my.....so sorry my love...can we take you to lunch over the weekend? have you the time? you won't have to drive and I can treat you to the biggest gin and tonic in the world.....

Trish said...

I popped over to visit as I often see your name on other people's blogs. Will come and visit again and bring chocolate or vodka?!!

AGuidingLife said...

given the importance in your life of your laptop, I seriously recommend you send it to 'a man' to get it sorted (just because you send your ironing out doesn't mean you can't iron, it just means you are busy). Have new recommendation for 'a man who can' a little closer to home. You won't lay on your death bed thinking "I wish I'd cleaned more". Divorce isn't all it's cracked up to be and the IR are the work of the devil, there is nothing like the fear of being sent to prison for being stuck in an administrative mistake to keep you on your toes. I offer you coffee, an ear and a walk in the mud xxx

Very Bored in Catalunya said...

Seeing as you're already stressing out the IT man can't you go the full 100% and ask him to look at your laptop?

The Turkish leak sounds bad, hope it's not as expensive as anticipated.

diney said...

you may be stressed out....... but it was a very funny post anyway - does that help?!!

Nota Bene said...

Now I understand why people watch Eastenders...

...but I Have every confidence that the wonderful you will soon be having a wonderful, lovely life full of nothing but joy and fun

family Affairs said...

Oh. All sounds like my house. I feel for your son. Want to know what the BIG secret is. HOW much juggling to us single parents have to do? Bloody hell. Luckily, our love for our kids just makes us keep going and going Lx

Sueann said...

Oh my!! I do feel so much better...but it sucks for you! I have no advice or words of wisdom. Sorry!!
Yep...a good stiff drink a day might help?

Taz said...

And you still found time to come wish my miserable coupon a Happy Birthday (((hugs)))

I'm like you I've raised children who think houses self clean, we went wrong somewhere didn't we :/

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I know this is serious, but the idea of a cowering IT guy made me laugh for the first time today :) I think you need a holiday, not one with burst pipes and if you choose Dublin two of my kids would love to hear the Tiger who came toTea again. Hope some of it gets sorted soon xxx

Elderberry-Rob said...

You'll look back on this and laugh - especially if it's viewed through the bottom of a glass.

Sandi said...

A friend used to say when he woke up with a huge hangover 'At least when you wake up feeling like shit, you know that as the day goes by you will begin to feel better' What has that to do with your post you ask....weeelllll if your year has started off like this, it can only get better, but I have to say it was a very funny post.......and single mums get the arse end of everything and the government could be more helpful by cutting taxes etc.
Ohh off me soap box now!!
x Sandi

Anonymous said...

Oh you poor thing. Have some gin and chocolate and stop worrying about the things you can't cure.

Do get your laptop sorted out - you don't have to go to a den of evil like Currys, there are plenty of small businesses who sort do that kind of thing now - try yellow pages, find someone near enough that you can turn up and break his windows if he is too slow/doesn't do what it says on the tin, and make sure he knows you live locally.

It's a relief to know I don't have the only household where a younger sibling loudly and regularly wished the elder sibling had not bothered to come home from uni for the holidays!

Rarelesserspotted said...

Great to hear from you again Auntie - thinking of you

Curry Queen said...

Your life (my life, any life) would be much better viewed with glasses. Wine Glasses, beer glasses, shot glasses - whatever. It makes the whole world nice and fuzzy and helps blind you to mess, dust and bickering teenagers and dead laptops. x

Style At Every Age said...

I am exactly the same, I still do the same for my lot as they did when they were 4! Uni girl goes back Sunday, so I am sad and youngest girl is sitting waiting for Uni offers. x

katyboo1 said...

pooh plop.
If your pc is still buggered, mail me and we will arrange a time when Jason can have a look at it. He is very good at this sort of thing and will work for cake.xxx

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Gwennie, I am thinking of you and all your dilemmas - Life is full of change and shite and although you write about your woes wonderfully and make me giggle and snort, I know none of it is easy.

Hugs. This phase shall pass. It will. xox

Mrs Worthington said...

But you know what hen - you are still laughing or making me laugh anyway. And your life is sooo like mine. A mirror image in fact. Scary shit. 2011 and its going to get better I can feel it in my water, the water in my whisky that is. All the best honey and hang on in there

Helena said...

......and new years are meant to get easier....? I've had a beauty of a start to mine. Some similar probs to your own. I'm scared to start blogging about them in case I don't stop.....!

Working Mum said...

Yes, you have. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself having a sore throat!

Get the laptop fixed then take it on a plane to Turkey and get the leak fixed. The IR can't get you there, can they?