Monday, 7 February 2011

In which we inflict our weirdness on the world, part deux

It's February so I must spend vast sums of money so one of The Beautiful Children can go to Switzerland to pursue all things Alpine, it's the law. We dropped Beautiful Baby Daughter off at school for her ski trip and the rest of the Family Von Strange went to a local cafe for brunch. It's a tradition, we drop the chosen child off at the school, the other children get to eat pancakes, not quite the same but always a good second. I have written before about how weird we are en masse to the general public, to read about our trip to the dentist click HERE

This time we have Hot Boy with us. Hot Boy can make us look well adjusted.

We love this place, it's always really busy and has a great mix, students with hangovers, parents with toddlers, ladies who lunch and us.

There is no category for us.

We are doing quite well, we order, we chit chat, we are bothering no one.

We are having conversation that wouldn't scare people in the main. Then The Beautiful Son tells me that when TBS was walking down the hall after his shower, Hot Boy tried to lick TBS's nipple.

I try and gloss over this, it's not big and it's not clever but I don't want TBS to start yelling in his old man Scottish voice that Hot Boy is grooming him. It's a nice cafe, we come here a lot. I don't want to have to stop.

Then Hot Boy informs us he can lick his own nipple and before we can stop him, he pulls his man vest to one side and does indeedily lick his own nipple, just in case we had a problem believing it. The family who had him directly in view were more than a little startled. They did leave very quickly afterwards too.

The worrying thing is that my daughter, his beloved, didn't turn a hair. Not a bother on her. I suppose there is a comfort to be had that my son isn't the strangest boy in the world. Not enough to make up for having to avoid the lovely cafe for a good while. But some comfort.

29 comments:

Andy said...

Fair play though, at least it was his own nipple.

I think I would have crawled under the table just the same though.

auntiegwen said...

Andy - I'd spend my life under a table if I had to do that every time Hot Boy said/did something weird. Truly, I love him but he's outweirded us!!!!

slommler said...

Take comfort that that is all he licked!!!! Sorry you have to stay away from your favorite cafe though!
That sucks!
Hugs
SueAnn

auntiegwen said...

SueAnn - you're right, it could have been a lot worse!!!!! I'm sorry I have to inflict you with such stuff, you're so sweet xxx

Gigi said...

Hot Boy never ceases to amaze me.

auntiegwen said...

Gigi - there are a few people who read this blog who have met Hot Boy in real life, I promise you, they'd tell you I tone him down for the blog.

Sandi said...

Arhhhh yes kids, my daughter used to say very loudly sometimes when we were shopping together "stop it, don't touch me" over and over, of course people would stare. I had to tell her to stop as people thought I was a weirdo. Although sometimes I would laugh.
Oh how I wish I could meet Hot Boy.
x Sandi
Oh thankyou for your comment on my blog.xx

auntiegwen said...

Sandi - I love your daughters sense of humour! Please consider ypurself invited to meet us all at any time xx and I read every post you write now, it gets sent to my phone :) xx

Sandi said...

Pilates is good so go do it, I have been at it for a year now, so she is harder on me. xx
I should be in bed it's 11.30pm and I'm knackered, but here I sit reading blogs....

Nota Bene said...

mmm awkward. Try getting him to touch his nose with his elbow instead

Mrs Worthington said...

Hot boy is such brilliant entertainment value
I think I could like my own nipple too. In fact I can probably sweep the floor with them as well.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Perhaps this is why my dd does not bring her boyfriends home? Not sure I could cope with nipple-licking on top of hand-flapping and head-nodding - and that's just the family-friendly stuff!

Laura said...

Well all I can say is at least hot boy didn't do a Jeff Brazier!!!

libby said...

I didn't notice that he had moobs.....or a very long tongue...obviously just a flexible supple lad....

Have you had time to miss your daughter yet?..mine was home last week with suspected mumps......

auntiegwen said...

Sandi - the reading blogs gets quite addictive doesn't it?

NB - oh I ask him to do nothing, much safer that way

Mrs W - I can't believe it, I know your bosoms are as full and perky as my own !!!!

LFBS - come visit me, I could do with some family friendly hand flapping and head nodding :)

Lolly - now I need to know what Jeff Brazier did!!

Libs - oh no, poor child. I have no time to miss my big child as she is home every weekend, she's been ill too, she got shingles, it must be start of uni itis xxx I am still savouring the no arguing as it's just the son and I, how very very quiet xxx

Ayak said...

Everyone should have a Hot Boy to bring out on those occasions when it's so dull and boring and you have a desperate need to shock people.

I like weirdness...it's never boring.

auntiegwen said...

Ayak - that is so very true, Hot Boy is better than the telly!!! xx

Rare Lesser Spotted said...

It could only happen to you. Sadly as a result of reading this, I did attempt to see if I could lick my own nipple (without raising said shirt and in private). This resulted in abject failure, a sense of disappointment and a cricked neck. I am now looking at this screen sideways :(

Kelloggsville said...

For once I am absolutely lost for words. Do you recall I said we'd go for coffee sometime? Well I just realised, I'm busy!!!

Curry Queen said...

Auntie - it's definitely time for the dark glasses and the wig if you ever want to frequent that cafe again!

auntiegwen said...

Steve - oh dear, I am sorry about your poor neck xxx

S - I promise not to bring Hot Boy with me

CQ - definitely need a Mary Portas type disguise :)

Taz said...

Remember that advert where the kid threw a strop cos his Mum wouldn't buy him some rubbish then she threw herself down on the floor and threw a full on foot stompin tantrum?
Well they modelled that on me - entering public space with me is a risk for everyone involved ;)
Time will tell what males of the species are brave enough to enter our world. LOL
xx

Curry Queen said...

You know, if you ever wanted to start a new blog you could centre it on Hot Boy and you'd never be short of material!!

scrappysue said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaah - the nipple lick in public trick. an oldie but a goodie. have enjoyed catching up on your posts AG - so what's going to happen with the laptop? is there a fix it person nearby, or are you still yelling at it and hoping it will work again.......:)

auntiegwen said...

taz - and I look forward to reading about them when they do!!!

CQ - I am thinking of doing a what Hot Boy said/did/ feature of the week, I am hoping to film him doing Wham on just Dance on the Wii, I'd put a warning for tena ladies on first, hysterical

Sue - I flirted shamelessly and a very nice man fixed it for me :) all good again

Laura said...

Jeff Brazier can lick his own willy.....well you DID ask.

Lena said...

lol....HotBoy is certainly some case! The kind of things great front men are made of. You don't want your average Joe at the musical helm, you want this kind of accompanying behaviour off stage!! You'll have to leave us a link to go check out his material. There'll be some great lyrics, I bet!

Wylye Girl said...

My mate Drunken Eddie in Bahrain could do what Jeff Brazier does. It was his party piece. It was very weird.

auntiegwen said...

Lolly - really? how do you know?

Lena - oh they don't let him write lyrics or sing, he looks pretty and plays good bass, everyone has their level!

WG - Hot Boy did actually try once, he ended up somersaulting in the bath, made an awful lot of water go everywhere, his mum wasn't best pleased :)