Sunday, 17 June 2007

Fathers Day

Once upon a time there was a small boy, he was quiet and lacking in confidence, he was the youngest of 4 boys and he felt that his older brothers had fulfilled every role, there was a clever one, a cool but naughty one and a very good one. The youngest was just an ordinary boy, one who struggled for a role to fill. He wasn't especially sporty so he was thrilled when he got to be in his Boy's Brigade football team, so it was a HUGE deal for him when they got into the cup final. One of his elder brothers ( the good one) was there to see that team win the cup final and to see the little brother get presented his medal by a football player who played for Rangers, the team he loved. When he got home after the match, he very excitedly showed the medal to his Dad, who was in the middle of having a shave, his dad turned around and said " Very good son, well done " turned back and finished having his shave. How crushed was that little boy.

As an adult, that little boy after having a few beers, would tell that story in a very poignant way and wonder why his Dad wasn't there cheering him on and watching every second of that cup final. It really affected him as an adult. It made me see the small boy that remained in him and made me determined to make up for his early years and for me to love him enough to make it all better.

When the little boy grew up he was lucky enough to have a son of his own, his only son who was born quite perfectly on Father's Day and although he didn't articulate it, I knew that as he watched that baby he was vowing to always be there for his son in a way that he felt his own father wasn't for him.

Now his little boy is the same age as he was then and he also is not especially sporty but has also been thrilled to be picked for his school rugby team. Last week he was invited to a huge award ceremony, all the teachers had dressed up in tuxedo's and Paralympic silver medal winning swimmer Fiona Neal was there to present the prizes. The son went on that stage to proudly collect his certificate for being part of the success of the rugby team. He was cheered and clapped by his mother and his sisters who recognized what a huge deal it was for him and were crying with the excitement and the pride of him.

Where was his Dad ? He chose not to come to this award ceremony as he had to be at a function with his new girlfriend.

That father is perplexed and feeling very sorry for himself that his son doesn't want to see him today on Fathers Day or tomorrow on what is The Beautiful Son's 12 th birthday. Will he see the parallel in the situation of the 2 boys ? I sincerely doubt it

My beautiful son, I hope will be ok because he has known every day of his life how much I love him and how clever, handsome, funny and unique he is because I have told him so every day of his life and will continue to do so and because I have always been there for him and always will be.

The end

4 comments:

gwen said...

Very rarely, if ever do I blog such incredibly emotive and personal material. I wrote this early morning and sent it to a very close friend as I just needed someone to know, he thought I should post it, so I have, with the tears pouring down my face for both the small boys.

Me is a Newfie'sWoman said...

Me is so sorry for yer boys. Its enough to break yer heart. But he WILL KNOW that his mum and sisters was always there for him. Yer doing fine.

As for the X. Me has one thing to say. SOME MEN DESERVE TO BE SHOT!!!!!! He reminds me of me own X in different ways. MEN!!!!!! GRRR..

He'll get his you watch an see. Will he ever see that he's like his own father?? NOPE!!!

lisa q. said...

my heart breaks for your son...my daughters sadly both know this same pain...the beautifulbabydaughter's dad didn't even come to her last ever dance recital last month...

all we can do is let them know that we are there for them...i know you do that...i know you dedicate your life to your kids gwen and they know it too...they know who is truly there for them and who truly loves them...

and one day, the dads will realize what they have lost and it will be too late...it will be the biggest loss of their lives and it will be completely their own fault...

gwen said...

Thank you so much to all the people who took the time to comment, email and text me about this. I really appreciate you sharing a bit of your life with me. It makes me realise how lucky I am to have the family and friends I have.