Wednesday, 30 September 2009

You know you're not as young as you used to be...

When a beer at your last gig cost more than your first gig and that included chips and your bus fare home.

When you decide that you'd actually rather stay home in your jammies than go out on a collegues leaving do. On a Friday night too. In town. With bars. And the possibility of flirting, red wine and sneaky smokes. I was asleep by 9.30pm.

When you remembered that November 5th 1984 was the day you became a student nurse. And then you realised that was TWENTYFECKINFIVE years ago. Twenty five, Christ that shook me.

When you know the words to the song on the radio from the first time round original version. And you prefer it.

Maybe this next bit is for the girls? If you're a male reader come back another day, click away now, nothing to see here.

When you make a show of yourself in Next by laughing (and I mean I've had 3 kids and my pelvic floor's not as it was laughing) at the floral leggings. You realise that even bad fashion comes back around. I sent a picture message of them to my friend Lou in Edinburgh, she replied by email and sent a pic of us in maternity T shirts and floral leggings, how chic we looked.

When you prefer your fit-flops to your peerie heels. Okay, my head is hung very low in shame, me the queen of shoe porn, I know.

When you can't wait to take your bra off and not for the reason that you used to throw it off with gay abandon.

When you decide that being single is an actual benefit as you no longer have to upkeep your Hollywood.

11 comments:

Matthew said...

I'll tell you what does it for me... Remembering 2001: A Space Odyssey and Space 1999.

Then looking at 1999 and 2001 and wondering where the space ships were.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

great gwen, i feel the same 'cept l keep saying 34 years !! or 40 years...shit bum fuck!!!lol

St Jude said...

Lovely post, I've done the laughing in Next thing, unfortunately the young ladies around me didn't appreciate what was so amusing. Ho hum!

Nota Bene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nota Bene said...

I just knew I should have heeded your advice and stop at para five. Damn, damn, damn. P.S I just celebrated 26 years behind a desk, and had to fill in a questionaire and give my real age.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

You know you are not as young as you were when:

You take your bra off and your nipples get carpet burn.
You fart and ace your pants instead.
You sneeze and your shoes get wet.
You take hours of getting ready to look like you did when you were younger with a hangover.
You let your hair grow one last time and someone whistles from behind but heaves up when they get a shot at the fisog.
You can’t get out of a chair without effing and blinding at the pain.
You desperately want to get into those leggings and flowery tops to relive your youth but then realise in the nick of that time your mutton radar has kicked in.

II could go on.......

Penelope said...

I do this too!!!
Today I was chatting up The Delicious Man and mentioned my 1st job after leaving school 20 years ago!!!! Dear god how did that happen??
Oh and yeah, way to impress him too huh? ;o)

Shirley said...

"We're adults! How did that happen? . . . And how do we make it stop?"

(Still my favorite quote. From Meredith on "Gray's Anatomy.")

lisaq said...

Ugh! Realizing that in May I will have been out of high school 30 years. Ouch!

auntiegwen said...

Matt - I remember doing 1984 for my either O grade or higher English and now thinking I should read it again as big brother seems to be watching me very closely now.

Saz - ah yes, I feel your pain x

St Jude - a welcome to you, you'll fit right in here x

NB - you will always be 37 to me sweetie (and no I'm not laughing as I type this) x

Mob - yep you could go on, but there would be too many noddings of head x ps I put the "peerie heels" in knowing you'd be one of the few who got it x

Pen - you're gorgeous and he'd be lucky to date you. Have a brill time in Amsterdam just sorry I can't be with you xxx

Shirley - fantastic quote, just fab x

Lisa - but you look mighty fine on it, hope you're feeling better sweetie xx

Lena said...

lol.....bra's and ageing are a bugger! But at least we can avoid one of them at the end of the day!