Tuesday 6 October 2009

10 Things I always lie about

Last October I posted a whole bunch of 10 themed posts. I kinda liked it so here we go again for 2009.

How many times it took me to get my maths 'O' level. And the grade.

How many attempts it took to pass my driving test. I can't actually remember the truth now.

How many sexual partners I have had. (incidentally I add some on to make me sound less boring) Currently if asked I fess up to 7,012.

I often tell people, with a very straight face that I am Lorraine Kelly's cousin, Rik my ex head of department believed that for months, he even went home and told his wife.

How much I earn. Someone once told me you should earn your age, I am very young still, in that sense only.

What weight I am. I have an official weight, like the Queen has an official birthday, sure where's the harm?, I can eat as many fruit and nut toblerones as I like then.

How many shoes and handbags I own. The total makes me sound shallow and obsessed.

How tall I am, I tell people I am taller, I always wear heels and lie .

How many classic books I have read. If I try and pass off Ulysses, War and Peace and that Salman Rushdie yoke, don't believe me. Ditto "The Alchemist"

What time I left home, I am perpetually late and always blame it on traffic, always.

Any other liars out there or am I on my own?


Gigi said...

I lie about things as well; but never about the number of shoes I have. I'm proud of those babies!!

Anonymous said...

Lie? Me?

Gosh no. Never.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh I can tell some ourageous whoppers - but only to people who are so competitive that I can't help but wind them up! These kind of people who 'best' everyone drive me nuts so i can't help myself and I have to expand upon a real life situation adding frills and bells and whistles. Great fun, they usually don't realise what's happened until much later!

I do of course 'bum my load' a bit and that's kinda lying in a way!

White lies - yup, but as I get older I tell less and less as I can't be arsed what people think of me.

scrappysue said...

it's not called lying, it's embellishing.


Anonymous said...

Lil Sis would tell you I lie about my height - she's full of crap! ;o)
I lie about how many cigs I smoke and how much wine I drink, oh and how many guys I have slept with...not a lot to lie about then ;o)
PS Sorry we couldn't see you last weekend - let's do something v v soon! xxx

Laura said...

I dont even know what a lie is.

Madame DeFarge said...

I lie about interesting things and tell the truth about boring things. Or maybe that's the other way round.

Expat mum said...

How can people lie about height. It's plain for all to see? V funny.

auntiegwen said...

Gigi - good girl yourself, nice to meet a fellow Imelda

Matt - whiter than white, your mammy must be very proud

Mobs - yep, I think I'm going to lie to those kind as well, much more interesting

Sue - embelleshing, yes indeed, see you tonight in


Pen - I have so much to tell you, pick a weekend and we'll drink wine and talk about shoes and boys

Lolly - well you are a good girl then

Madame - you are always interesting, always

Expat Mum - I can't make myself 6 foot but an inch here or there is fine

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Do white lies count? I only do white lies... I didn't tell my husband (who wholeheartedly disapproved - for the right kind of ethical reasons) that I was going off to see the Ladyboys of Bangkok with a couple of friends from work - We had some laughs, but it was ueber weird, I must admit! x

auntiegwen said...

Fhina - I didn't even know they were touring !!!!