Smile, Mummy

I was going out on Friday evening as was Eldest Beautiful Daughter. I was going to the local pub, so local I can see my front room from their beer garden and Eldest Beautiful Daughter was going to a fancy dress birthday party.

EBD went as Magenta Devine from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. For the uninitiated, a big fave film of mine and EBD (taught her everything she knows, esp the bad, age inappropriate stuff)
Magenta basically looks like a French Maid, very short black puffball dress, white apron, black fishnets, black Mary Janes (EBD are double strapped) and madly backcombed hair and lashings of mascara and black eyeliner. To be fair, it's not madly different from her normal Emo ish going out look.

The dress in question she uses is 3 years old and EBD had grown a lot in height over the last 3 years. I did mention this fact in a vaguely concerned mummy type fashion that that was what every Mummy wanted her very beautiful 16 year old daughter to be cutting about on a Friday night dressed like a French Maid and that I hoped she had on a sturdy pair of pants, my preference would have been for her to be wearing The Beautiful Son's black rugby shorts. Herself just laughed at me and said " Silly Mummy, pat the silly Mummy" and she pats me on the head, she is way taller than me, she does this a lot as it makes me howl with laughter and usually allows her to escape my displeasure/annoyance/telling off etc etc.

So off she goes and I get into the shower, when I'm all wet I reach for my shaving gel and razor, only to find them not there. EBD has come in to my ensuite and nicked my shaving gear, and has left it in the children's bathroom. This is not the first time and it really really annoys me. I know I shouldn't moan about trivial stuff really but I get so cross that the girls just help themselves to my stuff that's bad enough but not to return it just makes me even more cross.

When I get out the shower I send her a passive aggressive text message ( I am good at passive aggressive) that says

"Eldest Beautiful Daughter (using her full first, middle and surname, that's how you know the mummy is really cross with you)

I am really really cross with you (making your point)

You nicked my shaving gear AGAIN (in capitals, emphasising your point)

Didn't return it AGAIN and now I have to go out with hairy legs ( more capitals, she knows I don't generally bother with them or punctuation, so really emphasising the point)

You are very selfish (playing the guilt card)

I am so cross with you that I will only put 1 kiss at the end of this message ( I end all messages to my children with love you or love you lots and usually their age in kisses - I am now overgilding the lily and this is the passive aggressive part)

Her reply

" I'm sorry Mummy, I have no money to buy my own and I forgotted. Please don't be cross. Smile, ( a wee smiley face picture is at this bit) I'm wearing 2 pairs of pants, under and over tights for super safety and I won't take them off all night, even if a hot boy asks me nicely. Love you xx "

That's when I stopped being cross and started laughing. Again,that's why I love my children.