My Day Off

My day started at 6.20am where I got up to ensure The Beautiful Son got up for his paper round. I had to ensure until 6.35am.

I then put a load of laundry in the machine and made coffee and toast.

Next was a nice bit, I had the said coffee and toast back in bed reading horoscopes on the internet, yep still doing that.

I then got Beautiful Baby Daughter up for school. She proffers a trip permission slip and informs me that she has to hand the slip and cheque in that very morning. I spent the next 15 minutes in cross shouty stressville whilst looking for a chequebook. Upon finding it I pledged £34 towards her future educational and career prospects, of course The Clothes Show is educational.

I then emptied the dishwasher, tidied the kitchen, uhmed and arred for a bit about putting the washing outside ( I'm not going to tell you if I did, you'll be wondering all day now, I like to keep you on the edge of your seat with my domestic dramas)

I got showered and dressed and off to my solicitor, where we draft a letter to the ex mr auntiegwens solicitor about the financial end of our marriage. It's not the most pleasant way I ever spend £160 in an hour. And there is never any cake there, I wish she'd give me cake, just once, to make the experience a bit more pleasant. On the plus side, that was the first visit where I didn't cry.

I drive home, buy petrol and forget to buy the polo mints for my car, I don't feed them to the car but I like to have them there, I ignore the funny screechy noise which appears from time to time.

I spent the next 2 hours going over a presentation I am due to give at 2.45pm. I have declined BBD offer of wee twirly bits and animation to make my powerpoint less boring, to her chagrin. I pop my memory stick into the main computer to print off copies of said powerpoint to find a leftover piece of webcam jammed into one slot and find the other slot broken also.

I got a bit stressy at this point.

I then have to drive 30 miles to a conference centre relying on my sat nav, which refuses to accept that I am in fact in my driveway and not at the destination of the last place I used it for. I am now late and I have to drive like a granny as I have 3 points now.

I arrive, do presentation and am very nervous. I make a complete arse of myself and spend the next hour making sure they know I'm an arse and have no doubt about that. I waffle on and find the questions very hard. My voice is all quavery but I don't cry.

I drive home berating myself for being a tit.

I get home and find I have to visit the supermarket urgently as the house appears to have been robbed of all food, fortunately it was eaten by my 2 children and their eleventy hundred friends.

After the supermarket I heat up food and then drive BBD to Girls brigade, it is now 7pm.

I spend the next 2 hours sorting out the house and then at 9pm I go back and collect BBD from Girls Brigade.

Then I got to go to bed.

And that folks was the story of my day off.