Tuesday 12 October 2010

Things I have to do before Friday

I know, I know I'm a last minute Lil, I drive myself insane with it but I seem to only be able to get my arse into gear when faced with the prospect of things going properly scarily wrong.

This is what I have got to do before Friday at 11 am, this is in addition to normal living, working, driving children places, cleaning and all the rest of the things that make up my very rock n roll existence.

Drive into town and pay cheques into bank (they have closed my local branch) because they are utter bar stewards and they have no concept of customer service.
Transfer money so I am not stupidly overdrawn when they take EBD's accommodation money out on Friday. I shall refrain from mentioning that it is the most expensive locker ever as she seems to be spending 3 nights a week there maximum. The rest of the time I am driving to fetch her home and then driving her back again, not to mention feeding her, doing her laundry and her ironing, she causes me far more work and costs me far more money than she did when she lived here.

Pack for TBS and BBD and I to go to the villa, this is the first time I have been on holiday without EBD as she has no half term break, fortunately she hasn't complained more than once every 10 minutes about the unfairness of it all. Childline have now blocked her number though.
Buy 2 bikini's for BBD, and swimming shorts for TBS, this is proving quite a task, everywhere is selling winter stuff.
Buy more adaptor plugs, The Beautiful Parents arrived at the villa yesterday and found all the plugs gone. I despair, you'd think all these little extra touches would be appreciated rather than nicked.
Buy eleventy squillion birthday presents and a cake and pack them in a suitcase and take them to the other side of the world so BBD can't moan about how crap it is to have a birthday when on holiday.

Be a better Mummy, I am apparently not enthusiastic enough in my parenting with my youngest. She feels very hard done by with her 3rd time round experience. I have been found wanting in the following areas...

Not being enthusiastic about making a paper mache volcano for year 9 Geography. In my defense I was not in the slightest bit enthusiastic with either of the older 2's volcanoes either.
Not asking enough questions on open day for the school she will transfer to next September. This is the school I was a teacher at and her older 2 siblings attended. I don't need to ask that many questions, I know the answers already.
Not letting her opt out of a language GCSE so she can do an uncredited beauty course instead in the vocational studies option. Nail painting, for her, would be a hobby, she is not in the slightest bit interested in it as a career and I am loathe to let the brightest of my children waste 3 lessons per week for 2 years on it. It also says that a language GCSE is something some universities insist on. When the teacher in charge sells it to parents as " a fun subject to balance out all the other more dry academic lessons" it does not sell itself to me, a teacher Mummy.
Being a moany Mummy about the state of her bedroom. It looks like Beirut on a bad day or like H and M at 4pm on a Saturday. I despair, it's horrific and I wish I was too bohemian to care but it annoys the bejaysus out of me.
I think that's all that's wrong with my Mummying but it seems to be enough to keep her in a perpetual state of sulkiness with frequent outbreaks of cross shoutiness. It's turned my almost omnipresent Pollyanna ish ness to gin.

I need to write and set post for my Beautiful Baby Daughters birthday because I love her, even though we have only had 8 nice words in a week, I love her with a visceral and ferocious love. I am trying to love the pricklyness away, some days I succeed.

I need to allocate all my families at work to someone else and do a "I'm on holiday, so I really don't care but I know I'll pay for it when I get back" default message. I need to resign so I can start my new job mid November.

I need to do my tax return, employed, self employed and foreign. I hate my tax return and because of the villa I rent out it is classed as foreign income so I need a paper return due October 31st. I hate this, it always hangs over me when I go away for half term. I only earn fourpence and a caramel but it takes fekin ages and I need to do big sums and me no likey.

And then I get to go to my beautiful house for 10 days, where the sun and pink o'clock (rose wine and a bowl of nuts fresh from the farmers market on my lovely terrace watching the sun go down over Father mountain) make me feel like I can stop and relax and actually enjoy doing nothing for a while.

And that will give me the energy to keep going for another little while.


AGuidingLife said...

blimey I'm knackered just reading that. Would it help if I said m'cousin does makeup and nails (and hair related beauty stuff) and makes a jolly fine living out of it. Runs her own hours, works mainly from home etc etc. On top of that she is major glam :0)
I declare foreign income in my online tax return, hmmmmmm - paper = not good. have a fandabbydozey holiday.

auntiegwen said...

S - I genuinely wouldn't mind so much if she was interested in it as a career but she's not, she just wants to skive out of a GCSE and the work it entails

I have always been told I need a paper return because of the foreign income, I must try and see if they'll let me do it online, mind you I'll just be maoning come January that I have still got to get it done, procrastination is my middle name

Madame DeFarge said...

I assume you're starting on that little list right now? Can you subcontract any of it to some passing needy people?

auntiegwen said...

Madame - thank you so much for offering, would you like to buy the suncream or do the tax return with me?

Alex said...

Might be worth getting an accountant to do the tax return.
It more than paid for itself for me.
Failing that, put it all on the "to do" list, go and enjoy your holiday and stuff it :)

Gigi said...

Can you do a post on how exactly it is that you love the pricklyness away, please? Cause I keep trying over here and it's not going so well.

Oh, and can you swing by here and pick me up on the way to your vacation? I could use a few days off myself!

auntiegwen said...

Alex - what wise words, I think I'll follow your advice :)

Gigi - yep I'm happy to take you with me, expect a prickly girl, a boy who pretends to be a Scottish pensioner, a nana who worries and frets to Olympic standard and a dad who will spend 10 days doing up my house and fiddling with stuff!! I'll be beside the pool drinking :)

Anonymous said...

Phew did you breath whilst you wrote that, cos I'm sure I didn't. Good luck in getting all that done!!
Yes, um prickly girls, just got to ride out the storm, they do come good eventually (as you know) gin sounds a good plan and the holiday sounds the best of all.
Have fun xx Sandi

Sandi said...

@#^%&*(((&^%#@. that was me who just posted, my finger is faster than my brain!!!!

Sueann said...

Sounds like the perfect get-a-way! Can I hop in your suitcase?? Love to sit by the pool with you and drink!! Copious quantities of booze! Hic!!!
Hugs that prickly daughter for me and tell her I said Happy Birthday!

Nota Bene said...

Favourite post! And am very pleased you have new job. Even if you didn't tell me you had it. I'm ringing Childline

Troy said...

I'm not yet 100% on this....but I think you can now do an online tax return that includes foreign income. I know I couldn't do in previous years but I believe they have now included the foreign forms within the online program. When I logged on to check yesterday it said online submissions included foreign income. I'll be doing mine later today and I'll then be able to let you know if I've been able to get my foreign income onto the forms online.
Online tax returns are certainly an easier way of getting it done and out of the way with immediate acknowledgement of the return.

libby said...

You are a fabulous mother...with great kids..I know this...I have seen the proof.

Ayak said...

Oh I think you really need that holiday! Enjoy!

(By the way I as informed by one of my followers that they were unable to post comments on my blog using mozilla firefox but it worked OK with internet explorer)

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I hate tax returns too...not doing them is one of the benefits of being unemployed. And I barely remember having a rock n roll lifestyle...but lazing by a pool in the sun with a glass of rose counts I think? Hope you all have a lovely time xx

auntiegwen said...

Sandi- yep gin and holidays help with most things I've found

SueAnn - yep, always room for friends :) xx

NB - ringing childline to complain about me again? they'll block you too

Troy - oh Troy, you are so helpful, thank you so much, I'm all for immediate gratification, stop sniggering at the back :)

Libs - your pal the beautiful son grassed you up for giving him chewing gum, he got caught with it and didn't miss a beat in telling me you gave him it on Sunday !

Ayak - I'm on mozilla, that's why I can't comment I am still reading :) xx

LFBS - I'm fairly certain I didn't have a rock n roll lifestyle either, but we'll pretend to the rest of them that I did :) xx

Curry Queen said...

Despite the to-do list, I envy you! Have a great holiday!

Shirley said...

Wait . . . what's this about a new job? Details, girl! Oh, and I hope your time away is all it needs to be. With the exception of the mother being present, sounds idyllic ;-)

auntiegwen said...

Curry Queen - it's such a relaxing place, I always feel better once I'm there

Shirley - yep, another job, will spill all in a post :) did you mean my mother or me ? xxx

Rarelesserspotted said...

Have a GREAT holiday

Taz said...

They seriously offer THAT as a course in school!!!
I hope you have a wonderful hollybob and had plenty or pink oclock time ;)