Monday 20 December 2010

Things I have to do before Christmas

Yes I know I'm a last minute Lil, don't give out to me, I am middle aged, tired and in need of a wife. In no particular order I have to

Find a new hiding place for the Christmas beer, it has been found and decimated by the 2 older teenagers and the Hot Boy who live here. I wish to save the remaining few tins for beer drinking visitors.

Go to the supermarket again, Glory be to God, I'm never out of supermarkets, I go in spend £100 a time on tins of Quality Street, DVDs, batteries and wine. Have I anything for tea? that'll be a no.

Wrap presents.

Oh wait up, I still need to buy presents.

Not get cross with The Beautiful Parents when they continue to uhm and ahr about whether or not they'll be joining me for Christmas, I fully appreciate that they are scared they'll get stranded on the M6 but I kinda need to know one way or the other. It's not beyond them to tell me they won't be coming and then show up as a nice wee surprise for me. I'm not sure my last remaining nerve would cope with that level of surprise or the second guessing of the possible surprise. My parents being here affects when the children see their dad, what I will be doing on Christmas Eve, Christmas night and Boxing day. It also affects how much more food I need to buy, what presents I can buy my nieces (as my parents can take home with them and I don't need to post them) and how tidy my house needs to be. I have no wife and no cleaner, there is just me. Even just typing this has made me tired. And grumpy.

Ice my Christmas cake, my beautiful home made, filled with brandy and good stuff Christmas cake. Not baked by me so it should be safe to eat, I get to decorate it though. I am currently uhm ing and ahr ing about tasteful decor or Christmas on crack, place your bets.

Turn my office back into a dining room if my parents come for Christmas - I know I've done the parents bit but I remembered too late. If they don't come I will just shut the door and we'll eat in the kitchen.

Replace light bulbs in my office/dining room. It is very dark after 3 in there.I did buy light bulbs on one of my many Quality Street buying trips. I just need to buy the right sort of light bulbs next time.

Post Christmas cards, after I've written them obviously.

Remove bag of ice from front doorstep, it was left over from the very upmarket drinks soiree on Saturday night. Nothing beats a bunch of schoolfriends getting together 1st night back from their repsective uni's is there?

Lose 2 stone so I can put it back on by New Years eve, I have a ferocious amount of Quality Street here tormenting me.

Find a takeaway that is open on Christmas day, no one wants to eat a traditional Christmas dinner, the only meat eaters don't like turkey and well okay then, no one wants to eat a dinner cooked from scratch by me.

Get the dishwasher fixed, it only works if you hold the button in, I'm not sure jamming it in with a cocktail stick is a long term (IE over the Christmas holidays) solution.

Fix the arial problem. Apparently we have no TV, I didn't notice, when you switch it on it reads no signal. I am extremely tempted just to leave it, I doubt there would be anything I'd miss.

This is in addition to the normal working, driving offspring places, heating up, laundry (of which there is a fierce amount due to Eldest Beautiful Daughter bringing all her washing and a fair amount of fellow students washing home with her), cleaning and other stuff I do every other week of the year.

Then on Christmas Eve I will go to church and get down on my knees and give heartfelt thanks for my life, because I am blessed, my life is wonderful. I know I moan here week in and week out about my life but genuinely deep down I know how incredibly fortunate I am. Deo Gratias.

I wouldn't trade places with anyone.


Anonymous said...

Quality Street are sent to torment us. Roses are marginally safer because I don't like so many of them, but then there is the disappointment to cope with - a quarter of a tin left and yet nothing to eat.

I am slightly ahead of you in some of those things - I do have presents, mostly and Lenin wrote the cards for me. But snow has so far prevented me from seeing the in laws before Christmas, so that's one batch I cannot deliver or collect. I too am wondering if the family members due here for Christmas are going to make it. And will I get to a supermarket in time given that it's snowing hard here? Again. And will there be any food left if I do get there? Do I care? My second glass of wine says WTF. Would jacket potatoes and baked beans be OK for christmas dinner, if we still had a christmas pudding to follow? Too many questions, not enough answers.

Nickie O'Hara said...

Your To-Do list sounds a lot like mine, although I don't have to consider any parents - they do their own thing on Christmas Day.

We still have to replace the tin of chocs, the tin of biscuits, the three packets of peanuts, find some nutcrackers (because no-one appears to stock them ANYWHERE these days) and think of something to buy for my sister.

Sueann said...

Ack!! What a list! I hope your parents tell you soon too! Ha!
I hate to tell you this; but, my gifts are purchased and wrapped and my cards are out!! Woot!!
I just need to hit the grocery store and get the provisions for the big day. I will do that on Wed.
So I hope you can catch up soon as Christmas is Sat. girl!!?? Ha!
Good luck

Taz said...

Ok you win that is definately a much longer list of things to do than mine.

Ahh surprise visits! In fear of one happening to me I have made sure I have told anyone that would listen that I am really really looking forward to my Christmas with just me and my small people. Please God it doesn't backfire on me and they think I'm overcompenstating cos I'll actually be lonely. But then as long as this snow keeps up it will keep them snowed out. :D

Gigi said...

Schootch over on that kneeler, would you? I, too, have been moaning quite a bit lately about all I have to do (and damn it-people, especially family, should tell you about their plans!) And I need to remember & give thanks for all the good in my life. Merry Christmas, Gwen. We'll get it all squared away, somehow, before the big day. X

libby said...

I'm scared of going into supermarkets these days....I think that there is some kind of invisible brainwashing ray that hits you from the front door and whispers 'buy crap...and stuff you don't need...and then some more..just open your purse..'.
Ah Gwen, you know everything will work out least you're off work now...I'm not finishing till 5 on Christmas eve!!

Elderberry-Rob said...

I love this post, especially the last bit. Need a hiding place for beer? let me tell you my hidy hole - the wooden base boards at the bottom of my kitchen cupboards slide out revealing a lovely deep hiding place - I put my pressies in there - you probably have this secret hidy hole too - go and find it! Betty x

auntiegwen said...

Alienne - I love the sound of jacket potatoes and beans :)

Nickie - we have a kitchen gadgey shop near us that stocks all kind of expensive kitchen utensil porn, have you got one of them near you, if so buy 2 sets and give one to your sister! or gin. Gin is good.

SueAnn - it will all get done, it always does. I just have to write it all down to scare myself into actually getting some of it done!

Taz - I hate surprise visitors too, especially when they bring you a present and you've not got one for them!

Gigi - we will xx much love to you, hubby and the man child xx

Libs - you're right, I am buying batteries because I always have needed them for toys people gave the kids. They haven't needed them for years now! brainwashed. I will be finishing work today, Glory be and I hope it's isn't too awful to get your stuff done before Friday xxx

auntiegwen said...

Betty - you popped up just when I'd finished commenting :) ooh I love the sound of that hidey hole, I didn't know about that one before, thanks for that x

Nota Bene said...

You have a to do list??????? I prefer the squallor of uncertainty...

Anonymous said...

Try not writing out the Christmas cards at all.... it's hugely liberating!

Helena said...

lol.....can relate on so many points here - and all over in a blink, too!

The beer-hiding becomes a easier the more they drink. You wouldn't believe the places I've stuck bottles and cans....!!

Have a Happy Christmas with the Beautiful Ones.....XxX....Lena..x

Ayak said...

Oh this sounds sp familiar (from when I lived in England)...particularly the parents being unable to make a decision until the last possible minute.
Boy am I glad we don't celebrate Christmas here...but have a good one...I'm sure you will xxx

Autumn Mist said...

Just to say today is, in fact, December 21st. No pressure...

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Could you hide the beer in the snow? Then it would be ready to drink as well :) Happy Christmas auntiegwen, hope it all works out for the big day xxx

Anonymous said...

This is such a lovely post! I haven't done my shopping yet, we've had the last of family birthdays today so suppose I ought to get cracking. I also have a huge list of jobs to do too, but at least I will be at my mums by xmas eve- bliss!

auntiegwen said...

NB - because you're a boy

Anon - ah I wondered why I hadn't got a card from you!

Lena - I'm not that fussed really, I never drink beer, happy Christmas to you too me dear xxx

Ayak - they're not coming, they phoned today :( xx

AM - I know, how the hell did that happen?

LFBS - mainly ice here, snow due Thursday apparently

GWM - aawh enjoy being at your mums, I wish I was xx

ME said...

Wow,that's quite the list! The Christmas cake sound delicious..

I need a wife too.

Curry Queen said...

Oh dear - I read that with a growing sense of dread and familiarity! The only thing I seem to have done differently from you is to have posted my cards....I know about that supermarket brainwashing ray too. How can I have spent sooooo much money there in the space of a week and yet constantly hear the cry "Mum! there is, like, NO food in the house!"? Have a fantastic Christmas when it arrives!

auntiegwen said...

Me - I so want a wife, do you think Santa would give me one, I've not been that bad!

CQ - so now you, me and Libby have spent all our time and all our money in the supermarket and that is why we have nothing for tea and nothing else done!

Mrs Worthington said...

Loving the list. My washing machine has packed in, the food I keep buying for Christmas keeps disappearing, I'm running out of hiding places, I've also got hiding places I've forgotten about so now can't find half my present. Parents arriving today bring on the GIN!

Laura said...

Christmas on crack sound fine by me! That's how I'm spending the day.

Enjoy really I mean it :O)

Working Mum said...

I want to see the Christmas Cake on Crack!

Just hit the Baileys and Quality Street (does the whole of the UK buy QS at Christmas?) and that'll get you through.

Merry Christmas to you all!

WM x

Sandi said...

Merry Christmas Auntie G, wishing you a fab day with your family of beautiful ones xx Sandi
We'll have a drink together to toast the day!!

scrappysue said...

now that's a list! i'm sure it all went very well! hugs