Friday 3 July 2009

Things I don't understand, the 09 remix.

How can people renting my villa take the curved, corner unit shower door off it's runners ? Actually, don't tell me, I don't like to think of how people treat The Beautiful House when they rent it. I can't begin to imagine what they thought would happen by phoning me at 10.30pm in England, in what way I could assist them, that I could wave my magic landlady wand and all would be well ? They also locked themselves out of their bedroom but fortunately I could fix that by telling them where I keep the spare keys. Sometimes I think people are too stupid to leave the country.

How can it be so unbelievably hot and sunny all week making my classroom hotter than Hades and yet today ON MY DAY OFF it rains ? I had a lovely day planned, a sun lounger had my name upon it, a bikini was awaiting me, a good book begging me to read it and NAE WEANS, a whole day of peace, and it rains, bad Karma, bad.

How can I have spent £3,389.72 IN A MONTH ? Feckity feckity feck, it did include flights to Turkey, some holiday money, the new washing machine, the car service, The Beautiful Son's birthday presents and meal out and all the other regular stuff, but even so. That's the biggest bill your rubbishwithmoney auntie has ever had.

Why do I keep buying lingerie (that will be on next month's credit card bill) when absolutely no one except me sees it? Please look at my fancy new knickers, I'll feel better about spending the money on them, I thought they were divine and would look deadly with my tan, again poor auntiegwen, no one to appreciate the tan and the new knickers.

So to recap, stupid people in my villa and I'll see the unedited version of how they left my house as they leave the day I arrive (next Saturday).

Feckin weather, hot when I'm at work, raining when I'm off.

Credit card bill, Marks and feckin Spencers.

The tumbleweed that is my romantic life.

All together now, poor poor auntie.

PS - don't feel too sorry for me, it's 12.27 now, I'm still in bed reading blogs, posting this and eating a box of Guylian La trufflina' s that were kindly given to me by students.

Not too shabby.


Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter if no one sees the incredible knickers - as long as YOU know they're amazing they will put a spring in your stride!

Nota Bene said...

You will henceforth be known as Lady d'Extravangance of Dampshire.

Your tenants have in fact been renovating your house for you and you will rejoice in all the changes they have made.

Nice pants

Mrs P said...

Great blog post :o) Really made me chuckle. Enjoy your hols!

lisaq said...

I agree with Mud in the City...incredible knickers are all about how they make you feel girl. Bought some new ones myself yesterday just to cheer myself up...

Saz said...

Wonderful wonderful post!!

I breathed every word every morsel.

The tumbleweed that is my romantic life.


Laura said...

First I was hot cause of the weather, now I'm hot cause of your lingerie lol ( to much info? lol)

Dusty Spider said...

Didn't you know? Pretty underwear is for the wearer, nobody else!

Nice villa, where is it? xxx

Shirley said...

I love your grumbles -- they're so much more interesting than mine. Hope you have wonderfully lazy holidays :-)

Madame DeFarge said...

The day appears to end better than it began. Just think that all over the world people are now looking at your underwear. Albeit without you in it, which I believe is preferable. But it does open up an interesting potential sideline.

Anonymous said...

Lovely lingerie... almost as nice as the black ones... ;) xxxx x

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Auntie - things to be positive about;
you own a second home in the sun - I don't
you own pretty lingerie - I don't
you eat chocolate in bed - I don't
I think your life sounds fab. Despite tumbleweed. And with knickers like that there won't be cobwebs for long my love...x

auntiegwen said...

Mud - you're so right.

NB - I'll find out next weekend what damage they've done

Rachel - thanks so much

Lisa - I's sure they're quite lovely

FFF - tumbleweed doesn't begin to cover it !

Lolly - glad you liked it, not sure they're as good as your wonderwoman pants though !

Flick - it's in Turkey, in the mountains just above the blue lagoon x

Shirley - sure grumbles are grumbles the world over x

Madame - I am thinking of a pay per click strategy to help with the mahoosive credit card bill

Edge - thanks for that, matey xxxx x

auntiegwen said...

ACTTF - sorry sweetie, we were cross commenting, thank you for that, you are welcome to visit your auntie anytime and I promise you can eat chocolate in bed ! xx