Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Welcome to the House of Fun

This is truly a fairly typical and nondescript day in our lives.

On Monday night I was searching for the pasta pot and the colander I need to make dinner with. I looked in the proper cupboard where it lives, I looked in stupid cupboards where offspring might place in anyfeckin where as part of their disgruntlement at having to do any work IN THE HOLIDAYS, I looked in the dishwasher.

Nada

I asked Eldest Beautiful Daughter if she knew where it might be, she tells me last time she saw it The Beautiful Son had put it in her bedroom when she was in the shower.

Porquoi ?

Who knows what goes on in his head, he often puts odd things in your bedroom or shoves stuff under your door.

EBD goes to front door and shouts at TBS who is throwing a rugby ball about with Ollie and terrorising the neighbours at the same time "Hey, Goldilocks, where's the pasta pot and colander?"

and his answer, I kid you not...

"In my room, the colander's behind my telly and the pasta pot's in my wardrobe"

Of course, silly me

The girls and I eat, himself's disappeared with Ollie and outwith shouting distance. Beautiful Baby Daughter only has a token complaint about having to eat pasta instead of the full 3 verses and the disco chorus of what a remarkably mean mummy I am for making her eat it. Could I be winning the pasta war ?

After tea, EBD asks BBD if she can borrow her ipod headphones, EBD goes through headphones like you wouldn't believe, she must have had at least 10 pairs in 2 years. BBD says no, EBD has already broken a set of hers, I go upstairs and hide my ipod and headphones. From downstairs I hear EBD...

"What ever happened to sharing? meant to be a family, blah blah blah, more ranting along these lines"

and I tune in again and hear

"Don't come looking to me for nail polish remover"

and then I glance over and see EBD's nail polish remover on my bedside table so I start the bad Mummy skulk of shame along landing to replace borrowed nail polish remover

and get caught

and get a lecture about borrowing things without asking

and then get the lecture about sharing

I spend rest of night reading blogs, emailing and texting in my bedroom like a sulky teenager. This is why we need a proper grown up to come keep order.

On Tuesday morning, TBS's plate of pasta remains in fridge, when he surfaces I ask him why he didn't eat it when he got back from Ollies.

"You didn't tell me to"

and I reply that at 14, maybe he should have known that when I was looking for the pasta pot etc that tea was imminent and he shouldn't have gone off. Also, when did I ever have to remind him to eat ? Didn't his stomach remind him ?

Apparently the first 25 years of parenting are the worst !

9 comments:

Josie said...

25 years? oh great another four to go then! only kidding we re-homed son last year when we kept son's cat, we said there wasn't room for both of them! and now the cat has son's bedroom!
Josie x

Nota Bene said...

Jeez, fecking menagerie

indigo16 said...

Same here, except it's the bloody au pair that hides everything, or worse tries to squeeze it in the dishwasher. We have an au pairs graveyard of what has been destroyed in the dishwasher, wooden breadboards, tin openers the list is endless.
I too get plaintiff demands for instant gratification food wise only for it to sit going cold because they can't hear me bellowing up the stairs. Emin has taken to phoning them! It is the only way to get there attention.
Despite all this my heart is heavy when I see Daisy looking at prospective Uni's

Looking Fab in your forties said...

We have the same earphone problem in my house - everybody hides theirs as they are alwasy going missing causing huge rows!

auntiegwen said...

Josie - a swap for a pet, why didn't I think of that ! x

NB - how rude, I'll put you on the naughty step.

Alison - I know, I will miss EBD (same age as Daisy) soooooooooo much, I can hardly bear to think of it.

Looking Fab - oh good, I'm not alone then

lisaq said...

So you're saying after the first 25 years, it's going to get better? God, I hope you're right! The first 20 have damn near killed me! Mine live together in another town and still last week I got two separate phone calls because they had an argument. What? You people don't even live in my house anymore? Why am I still refereeing? Ugh!

Shirley said...

ah hahahaha! See, this is why I started reading you, AG -- you're good for a great big laugh whenever one is needed!! (I *continue* reading you because you're a dear sweet woman. But thanks for another chuckle today.)

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Ha ha ha. Love the sound of the chaos in your house. Love that you get lectured on sharing. Love the fact you boy takes pasta pots and colanders up to his room and then forgets to eat. I would love a boy!! They are funny.

auntiegwen said...

Lisa - you know that'll be my life right ?

Shirley - for the gazillionith time, my life is only funny when you don't have to live it x hope the move thaaaang is going ok xx

ACTTF - my boy is so funny, we treat him a bit like a pet monkey but so funny