As the "Tis the season to be jolly" has passed and your auntie spent said season getting mighty jolly with omnipresent Baileys and fruit and nut toblerones, I have to accept that never mind the goose, the auntie has gotten fat.
My last job seemed to find me walking from one end of the school to the other, walking round the classroom, up and down stairs etc, I seemed to be able to eat and still fit into my jeans. As my now not so new job seems to find me sat upon my getting bigger by the nano second derriere upon my executive twirly chair I am quite a wobbly, heavier auntie. Do not even think about my boobs which are bigger again, people would pay money for bosoms this size. This is not good, I am not a happy auntie, I am a chubby auntie.
So my current new obsession is my pedometer. You are meant to take 10,000 steps per day. On my average day where I work, cook (all right, heat up), pop into Sainsbury's for the few bits and bobs I forgot when my middle aged wobbly self did my weekly shop and obviously wandering around aimlessly looking for my keys, I take around 4,500 steps.
Ergo, why I am fat, I have discovered the key points, I need to eat less and move around more.
So, obsessive wee scone that I am, I know now it takes around 1,000 steps to get me up, showered and out to work. 2,000 steps will take me around Sainsbury's. 2,500 is what I do at the office.
I look very fetching with my wee blue pedometer on my hip, I have no shame, I clip it straight onto my jammy bottoms as soon as I get up, I come out of the shower, get dried and clip it straight onto my pants. It is now permanently attached to me. I will not sit down for the evening until I have done my 10,000 steps for the day.
I got completely overgiddy when on a day to a big shopping centre I did 20,000 steps, I have got a wee notebook and every night in bed I record what my step tally for that day is. No, I have no idea why I am still single either !
Now, my FitFlops are kinda key to this too. If I am doing all these steps what could be better than foorwear toning up the thighs and wobbly bottom while I step my way back into my size 8 jeans? I love these, I feel like I'm getting a huge bargain, I hugely approve of getting extra benefit from doing what I normally do anyway.
Remember how I wanted the gorgeous and scrummy fitflop boots? well, I couldn't find them but I am now ubertempted by these FitFlops I could wear them outside as it's still chilly here but when the weather improves I could see me getting my toes out in these beauties
So, I have me pedometer and me FitFlops. I will soon be back in my size 8 jeans and then surely, surely I can find me a man?
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27 comments:
I want one. Not a pair of FlitFops. The other thing.
I like gadgets...
Tim - I love mine, you can programme it with your weight and your stride length and it'll tell you how many miles you've walked and how many calories you've burned off. I am going to buy Gadget Mad Dad one for his birthday ! hours of fun he'll have with it.
My gym is shut after a fire, this is not a good thing because when it is this cold, what goes in my mouth is very much greater than my calorific expenditure. I have often fancied measuring my footsteps but am not sue what I would do with the knowledge!
Alison - write in down in a wee notebook like me ! The only benefit of mine is it does actually make me get off my wobbly backside to reach my taget of 10,000
Oh yes, I have a pedometer too - all very dusty and needing a new battery. But, it is coming out tomorrow just in time for the Rosemary Conley diet and exercize club session tomorrow night. It's not so easy to do 10k steps a day - it sounds okay but you really need to keep on the go if you want to achieve that number. But it is great psychologically for making you fit exercize into your day - even if it is just doing the stairs instead of the lift, making you park further from the entrance to a building or taking that extra walk when you'd normally park the eld erse on a chair! Good luck!
The holidays be damned! I can't eat and drink like that again for a long time. The pounds have returned, now I have to "run them off!"
Secretia
I wore a pedometer at school once and had done my 10,000 steps by lunchtime! So how do you explain the 6lbs I've put on since before Christmas?
Size 8? I'm sorry...run that by me again...size 8? that's a half of me!!.....but never mind, I'm taller than you (I hope) and as for pedometers...I've got one!! upstairs in a drawer somewhere.....see what you've started now Auntiegwen..will have to go and dig it out and .... think about using it.
What is it with boobs and bums?! Neither of mine now fit into the holders previously suitable! Been on a diet 5 weeks and gained 4kgs - not bad going and my lunch time walk is currently only 852 steps - need to up the ante. Good luck to you xx
Well my daughter has put me on a diet and she's SO strict !! My attempt at following orders consists of eating well at meal times, inorder to stop me snacking inbetween and no puddings to follow :-(
I don't get chance anyway , as she keeps guard on the shopping trolley ! " Mum, Put that cake back" ..... arr..caught out again :-/
sorry, i'm still getting ove the visiual of you clipping your pedometer to your pyjamas.....
you're hysterical
keep up the good work tho!!!
Mob - my erse has been firmly glued to the chair !
Secretia - I do run, honest, but I hate running in the rain and snow so not managed out much this year
WM - were you baking those yummy cupcakes again?
Libby - this time 4 years ago I was a size 4, then I went up to a 6, then I stopped at size 8 for 2 years and horror of horror I have had to buy size 10 jeans, if I put on a size a year I will be ginormous soon
Kellogsville - my boobs are ginormous, it's most strange, keep up the walking!
Becky - please send her to me, I could do with her, my kids care not a jot what size I am
Sue - you want to see me wobble around in my pants with it on !
Enjoy your curves woman! However I do sympathise with you as I can't go running at the moment and have now got a not so nice rolly polly belly and I just can't stop eating. Good on yer for doing the pedo thing
Love fit flops - can't wait for warmer weather to wear them again. Can't be arsed to clip the pedometer on so I'll just have another kit kat!
Mrs W - you're being too kind with the curves ! I am a fat auntie
Diney - I tried really hard to get the fitflop boots but couldn't get the black ones, now I wished I'd bought the tan !
I have this vison of you walking around sainsburys muttering your step numbers under your breath " 1,000 steps" "I walked 1,ooo steps" kinda like Raymond in rain man.
Walking back to happiness is clearly the key. I am slouching to misery.
Love your new fltflops!! Nice shoe! I am just visiting per Fhina's recommendation and I can see why she loves coming here. Great blog!
Hugs
SueAnn
Gwen, you probably more than suit your little bit of padding! You're a very pretty lady.
The only things in a size 8 I'll ever be buying are PrettyBoy's shoes!
I quite like the sound of those FitFlops. The last time I got the chance to tone as I walked was when I had splits in my heels which I'm sometimes prone to in dry weather! I was virtually tip-toeing everywhere!
I wouldn't bother looking for a man, we're all either married or utter, utter twats.
I'm not married.
Lolly - I am extremely sad, I will wander from room to room trying to get my steps up !
Madame - a lazy middle aged woman's desperate attempt in damage limitation
SueAnn - welcome, and thank you I love fitflops, you should have seen the boots that got away, that was sad, I really really wanted the fitflop boots
Lena - oh definitely get some fitflops, you've got to walk anyway, may as well work yer erse whilst you do it !
Soxy - stop it, I'm sure you're lovely and there must be 1 man out there that could put up with my nonsense, obviously not anyone who reads my blog, mentions of fleecy jammy bottoms and wandering around with a pedometer clipped to my pants won't set anyone aflame !
Cheer up fatty, shall we go for a waddle through snowy fields sometime soon to up your daily total? xx
ps. I don't know if you work Monday mornings usually but I go to an exercise class in that there place where you live 10.15-11.45 Mondays, it's very gentle, I am by far the youngest person there, just lots of old ladies bobbing around to Swing classics and Barry Manilow, I absolutely love it, let me know if you want to give it a try! It's supposed to improve posture and tone and always makes me feel fantastic
I just bopped in for a quick visit and noticed you re-arranged the furniture. Very nice! ;-)
Fitflops utterly rock - I bought their boots and if the extra pain in my calves means anything... they have to be doing something right
Good luck with it
LOL!! I have a pair of MBT trainers...supposed to tone everything and burn more calories when you walk. ;0)
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