Friday 27 February 2009

Things I have found out

Learning to cook and type would have been much more useful to me in life than knowing the chemical formula for potassium and how to calculate the area of a triangle. The cooking and the typing I have to do daily, needing to recite the periodic table, algebra, trigafeckinometry or geometry, em that would be never in the 25 feckin years since I left school. Guidance teacher, too bright for food and nutrition and secretarial studies ? my arse.

Why was I so keen to leave home and have my own place ? what I wouldn't give to have a daily cleaning, laundry, cooking, fridge filling, cash point and taxi service now. Mammy, I'm sorry I was a heart scald to you, you were right, I didn't know I was born (translation how lucky I was)

Anti wrinkle creams whether they cost £10 or £100 do not remove wrinkles. Baking yourself in Ambre Solaire oil (in the brown bottle) may have been the kicker there. I can honestly remember thinking I'd rather be brown now and to hell with when I'm 40... not so happy about my choices now.

Teenage boys are incredibly good at fixing things if you let them have a go. This saves you quite a lot of money. Ciaran fixed my cupboard door, Alex my leaking radiator and joecryor the outside light and the printer. When these boys go to uni next year I'm getting married again, I have a year to find a man and make him propose, don't tell him about the failed grown up stuff or the weans, let him think I'm normal first, I do a good first impression and I'll lure him into a false sense of security. I know it's not pretty or ethical, it's survival.

Love doesn't conquer all, even if you both love each other, you may not be good for each other. I can't love someone enough to make it all better, I used to think I could.

Having 3 children in 4 and a half years may not have been one of my better ideas, it was tough enough when they were younger and needed so much care, I have now realised that I might have a year where all 3 of them are at University and how will I fund that ? Answers on a postcard please or email

The 3rd glass makes me sick, repeat to fade...


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

A heart scald! Oh ya bampot leavin hame when you had the best invention ever - yer mammy! I know what you mean and hindsight is an exact science, designed to give us 20/20 vision and clarity when it's all too late!

Three kids in 4.5 years? Now that's what I'd call a heart scald! Crikey, how did you survive that? You must have taken ten years off your life running around after three toddlers.

Let's hope you get good grant assisted help for the uni days! Otherwise it's a bank robbery to fund it all. X

DAB said...

Sometimes, I'm a tad glad that I don't have kids :O

Now we could do a bank robbery together for UNI, facelifts and holiday funds. We need a water tight plan... ;-) TFx

Shirley said...

I love your language, and your perspective, and your intelligence, and your humor, (no, this is not leading up to a proposal) and your hindsight.
Hugs to you, sister :)

Mean Mom said...

If only we could have been born with some wisdom! I don't think I acquired any until I was about 50 and, I'm sure I still don't have anywhere near as much as I should!

Only our youngest son wanted to go to uni. He is in his second year and it is costing us a fortune. I don't remember the last time I had any new clothes or shoes!

Anonymous said...

The 3rd glass of what? Bleach? Petrol? Meths? Please don't tell me that you mean wine! Lightweight! ;o)

scrappysue said...

youth is so wasted on the young. if only we'd listened to our parents lol...somethings we just HAVE to find out on our own

Working Mum said...

Mmmmmm, there's a lot of sense in that post, I rebelled against doing an O level in electronics, which school wanted me to do, to do RSA Typing and boy, was I glad I did with the computer revolution - I'm the fastest report writer in the West!

Print it off this post now for your daughter!

PS By the way Potassium is an element, not a compound, so doesn't have a formula, just a symbol (K - don't ask my why it's K). Just saying! (I know, I'm a sad and lonely science geek!)

Anonymous said...

Oh if I'd have known these things 20 years ago, life might have been very different. Must go now...apparently I need to find some teenage boys.

sallymandy said...

So funny and tender. I love reading your posts about your kids. Love doesn't conquer true. Sadder but wiser after all that's said and done. Thanks for this insightful post.