Reasons to be cheerful part 3 of 3

Oh yes, you must all be getting mightily sick of the I'm going on a sunny holiday song, with the full 3 verses and the disco chorus. I sincerely hope that when you read this I will be on a plane having had a very large glass of wine and a bit of a nap. Don't hate me, read on and see how my life is going.

This week has been chock full of little petty irritations that have annoyed the crap outta me. Buckle up I might have a wee whinge to myself...

Sunday - my washing machine wouldn't spin leaving me with very wet washing (it's only 16 months old)

Tuesday - it wouldn't wash leaving me with a machine full of water and soaking wet dirty clothes.

Wednesday - call centre people at the place that I give £50 a month to fix all stuff that goes wrong in my house can only give me a time slot of between 8 aand 1 or 1 and 6, they don't seem to understand school not letting me have a day off the week before the A levels to stay in and have washing machine fixed. They also appear not to understand teenage daughters despair at not having clean skinny jeans to go on holiday with. Fortunately daughter has no classes Thurs pm and will sit in house awaiting repair man.

Thursday -
First thing in the morning - I mistakenly threw out an envelope containing EBD £20 holiday money from her dad, the other 2 had opened theirs and pocketed the money, I saw a pile of envelopes and put them in the recycling bag which gets collected at 7.30am

8am - at school I made myself a nice big mug of coffee in my brand new never been used Cath Kidston stripy mug, it had a crack in it and it split in 2 and I nearly scalded the head of IT who was reaching out for the milk.

8.50 am - I covered a year 10 RE lesson, I would rather do a Saturday night shift in a casualty department in Glasgow after an Auld Firm match than cover a year 10 RE lesson. On the bright side I gained a football (don't ask)

4.30 pm - washing machine engineer admits defeat after 2 hours trying to fix it, it needs specialist help but again we go back to the 8 and 1 or 1 and 6 dilemma. I say 1 and 6 on the Monday after we get back from holiday, I now have to find a kind and lovely friend/teenager to sit in the house awaiting another repair man. Also a plumber as first washing repair man broke the u bend under kitchen sink whilst trying to repair washing machine ! I cannot use my kitchen sink until then.

5pm - kids to dentist for check up, then to M and S to collect holiday money. On way back car develops squeaking noise, son tells me it's the axle and it needs oil, I listen to him as he watches Top Gear and in all probability knows more about cars than I do. I go to my friend C and she lets me borrow her washing machine and she also shows me how to check my oil, I don't need any. I am thinking I need to drive 106 miles to Manchester airport at stupid o'clock tomorrow morning and my car sounds poorly.

Feckity feckity feck.

If I get there I will be showing the United Nations peace keeping force how it's done, me the Queen of my own routine will be on holiday with the Queen Mother of her own routine who is mightily ticked off at my dad's audacity in retiring. Add in a teenager who's revising for AS levels and a son and younger daughter who have taking annoy your sibling to Olympic standards and you have the perfect recipe for a happy family holiday.

But did I mention the sun will be shining ? See you in a week, much love from your auntie xxx

Reasons to be cheerful part 2 of 3

I am going on holiday on Friday.

Where I am going will be sunny.

Again, holiday and sunny.

No hate mail please.

Reasons to be cheerful part 1 of 3

On Friday I will be on a plane going to The Beautiful House. The weather forecast there is for sun, for the UK readers who can't remember what sun is, it is a big yellow ball up in the sky, it is warm (not wet) and it makes you cheerful.

I will be having pink o clock and also my almond magnum o clock daily for 1 week.

All my coursework marking is finished and the final grades have been submitted to the exam board, cue the Gospel chorus singing "Oh Happy Days".

Same old Same old

My life is not exciting, maybe other people's isn't either but I am disgruntled that mine isn't. I am hoping to reverse this on Saturday, there may be drinking, sneaky smoking and possibly a smidgeon of flirting.

To illustrate to you how unexciting my life is I will give you the weeks edited highlights.

Today I have cleaned the kitchen, I only just refrained from photographing and blogging it.

I got locked in at school (not where you want a lock in is it?) on Tuesday.

I have bought fitflops, my daughters have disowned me, they feel it's a slippery slope to crocs.

My friend C told me that men(she reckons about 5) have sidled up beside her in Manchester Central Library and have proceeded to interfere with themselves. She went on to add "in a variety of positions"

Funny things I have heard in the last week

From my friend C

On visit to new classroom to meet new teacher, Miss year 5 teacher asks if the new class have any questions. C's daughter's friend puts her hand up and asks "Have you got a boyfriend ? " Miss year 5 teacher says not that kind of question, a proper question, same child puts hand up and asks "How old are you ?"

From Eldest Beautiful Daughter

Tom and Sarah (fellow pupils both 16/17) are going to Ikea together. They don't even have a house. What can they buy ? A flat pack relationship ?

From Beautiful Baby Daughter

Miss PE Teacher told some big chavs to get off our sports field and they mooned her. I had to write a description of them cos I was at the front. I've never had to describe a chavs bum before.

From The Beautiful Son

I'm so gonna do that on my last day at school.

Pollyanna has left the building.

As a person I would say I used to be very pessimistic, a bit like expect the worst and then anything else is an upgrade. Very much a glass half empty kinda gal. I was brought up that way. One of my Grandma's favourite sayings was "She that expecteth nothing can never be disappointed"

When I was married I always had a worry list, I felt that if I was worrying about lots of little things God wouldn't give me a big feck off disaster to deal with. I had an omnipresent list of worries and looking back they were so trivial, something that occupied my mind a fair amount was why my shower doors had water marks on, I asked everyone what they used and tried the lot, no I can't imagine why my husband got bored either. I also worried about the children to a near Olympic standard, their safety, their health, their social skills, their education, their diet, nothing was too trivial for me not to have on my list.

Did I ever feel content ? Not really... there always seemed to be something just out of reach that would make me happy, I never seemed to just enjoy what I had, it was always a case of if.

Then I had 2006, my annus horribilis, when my marriage ended in the summer I went into survival mode and in Jan 2007 I started my blog, it's great for me to read back and see how I'm changing and adapting to my new life. I think I have become so much more optimistic and hopeful, I seemed to be able to see the positives in situations where before I'd always have seen the negatives.

Yet I feel now I am tending back towards the negatives, pondering on what I don't have rather than appreciating what I do have. Maybe that is my inherent personality and I am just reverting to type but I liked the sunny, optimistic version of me better. Is it human nature to dwell on what we don't have rather than appreciate what we do ?

I have 3 beautiful and healthy children and a fantastic relationship with them, we are much closer now than we were before, I have my health, I have a home to live in and I have friends. I am really and truly grateful for them, may that never change.

But

I seem to have lost my sense of purpose, I'm leaving teaching at the end of this academic year but I don't seem to have the inclination to forge out a new career path, I simply have no clue as to what I will do in September but I know I don't want to teach, yet I used to love it. You'd think the thought of being unemployed and unable to pay the mortgage would be a fantastic motivator but nope, searching and applying for jobs just isn't happening.

I'm missing being part of a couple, that feeling of being loved and supported isn't in my life and I want it. I was happy just me and the kids but I'm not anymore. I feel this pang when I see couples together. I hate this notion that I need a man to make me happy, I am generally happy but my brain seems hardwired to the idea of coupledom. I've had 2 significant relationships in the last 3 years and I feel so badly about the way they ended.

I'm wondering if I'll ever be lucky enough to have another or have I used all my love up ?

A Beginner's Guide to Essex and Daawn Saarf

On Friday night NB took me to see Doves at the Brixton Academy, because he is a lovely, lovely man. I'm not sure how NB's son felt about taking a middle aged auntie out on his birthday treat but he is a gorgeous and polite boy and I loved him.

The South is a strange place to me, it may be to you yourself, have some handy hints from your auntie, they may help you prepare.

It is the law that if you live in Essex you either have to be blonde, orange or have fake nails, it's better if you have all 3, they give you a discount on your council tax if you do. I truly saw a black man with a blonde mohawk, I am not making that bit up.

It can take a ferocious amount of time to drive anywhere, it took us 90 minutes to go 12 miles. This is not uncommon, apparently, this is why many people in London are grumpy or stone mad or both. There is a lot of beeping, an awful lot.

If you drive a BMW you are exempt from any traffic laws or codes of common courtesy that others may follow. You can be even more cavalier with the rules of the road if you drive a soft top BMW. There will be no raising of eyebrows or smart arse remarks from me about the men who drive these cars because NB is my friend, a lovely, lovely man and I want him to ditch Chloe's mum and take me to Kings of Leon, I am his proper friend.

You can't leave a soft top BMW in Brixton. You have to drive for an hour and a half, park in a safe place and then get 3 tubes to get there. This may account for the people being grumpy and stone mad as in point 2.

People in Essex judge you on how expensive your car is and how bling you are, don't think it works the same in Edinburgh, it doesn't, we don't do that, millionaires drive beaten up old Volvo estates and buy clothes from charity shops. This may be why they have money.

London was fantastic and I was overgiddy with delight to see The Gherkin and Tower Bridge, I actually did ooh noises and I believe I may have clapped my hands excitedly in the manner of a small child who's had too much sugar.

Doves were amazing and the Brixton Academy was my kind of venue, I loved it. It has so much character and it made me miss the Glasgow Apollo RIP.

Middle aged bald men can and will dance, some of them will even take their (middle aged) stripey shirts off to do it. Fair play to them, sure where's the harm ?

Directions to Doves

You know how I always tell you I'm a lucky, lucky girl ? All right lucky, lucky middle aged woman, tonight my lovely friend is taking me to see Doves at the Brixton Academy, streemly citing for an auntie who doesn't get out much.

The plan is I drive to lovely friend in White Stiletto and Fake Tan Land (and that's just the men !) and then we go by tube. Please read some extracts from the emails (3 in total) that gave me directions.

Don't take the A10 off the motorway...your sat nav might suggest that.

When you come off the motorway it's complicated....you come to a roundabout wher you sort of go straight on/go leftish but not much. Then you're on the A121

and I replied

Sat nav !
Would you give yourself peace ! I only go to work, the supermarket and my mothers, I have no need of a sat nav, I have no life, you read my blog and know that.
I did laugh (out loud) at your directions of
"When you come off the motorway it's complicated....you come to a roundabout wher you sort of go straight on/go leftish but not much."

and then he replied


yes..mmm...erm I think I'm totally misleading you...I think the road bends to the left and then you have to take a sharp right...then you get to the straight onish leftish bit....just don't quote me

So, I wonder if I'll find his house or if I'll be left wandering in deepest darkest WSAFT Land.

No, I'm not wondering why men drive around and won't admit they're lost, not at all !