Tuesday, 14 September 2010

To My Eldest Beautiful Daughter




The day I knew was on it's way is almost here. The day that you, my Eldest Beautiful Daughter, will leave home. For 18 years I've had the honour and the privilege to be your Mummy. I've marvelled at you all the way from the first moment I held you in my arms to now when I never want to let you go. You have been, are now and always will be the delight of my heart...mo chridhe.

You have taught me so much and so well. Thanks to you I know the meaning of unconditional love, patience, flexibility, and pride. I will never love anyone in the way I love you and your siblings. You 3 and I are enmeshed and wrapped together with a love that is the real deal, the big love, Tan 90 squared.

And I will miss seeing you every day with an ache that is soul deep. To not see you and touch you and laugh with you in our own wee routine will be the toughest thing. You being missing round the table will leave a great big gaping hole in our lives and I know that your brother and sister feel the same.

I am so proud of you, you're kind, funny, smart and beautiful. You have been the joy of my life and it's been the best fun to be your Mummy. I do hope that when you think of your childhood that you feel it was good and that although there was that big blip with your dad and I that you forgive us, and feel that overall, you felt secure and know that you are loved.

So off you go, into the big wide world. I've given you life so go live it but remember...

Someone once asked you where home was, meaning Scotland or England and you answered "My home is where my mummy is" and may that always be true.

26 comments:

hausfrau said...

It seems unfair that we work at giving them independence only to wish that we hadn't. Take pride in your achievement!

slommler said...

And she is beautiful!! How sweet of her to say that home is where my mummy lives! That is so true! I wish her the best of luck in all that she endeavors to do!! She has a great start!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Nota Bene said...

I love that...

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Beautiful tribute to EBD. Am crying into my coffee here and I don't do things like that xx

TherExtras said...

What hausfrau said.

Life is definitely not fair. But that last bit your daughter said - stuff like that definitely makes it bearable. Barbara

Jean said...

Beautiful post for a beautiful girl. How wonderful to be launching your child into the world.
Your pride is well deserved.
XXX

Laura said...

Awwww! What a gorgeous post. Goodl luck EBD

Curry Queen said...

You've obviously done a great job with her and have a good relationship ....she'll be back, don't worry. Loved this post!

Autumn Mist said...

Am going off now to also sob quietly into my cup of tea. Youngest son has just returned after a gap of nearly a year. Chin up. I cried nearly every day for the first six months! You get used to it... EBD is lovely though, you must be so proud.

Madame DeFarge said...

I only hope that my mother felt like that when I left home. Good luck to her and to you too!

Mrs Worthington said...

Now that is lovely. I even have stinging eyes. All the best it's going to be hard for a while.

Alienne said...

That's exactly how I feel about my elder daughter going off to uni in 10 days.

Previously (Very) Lost in France said...

What a wonderful tribute to your gorgeous daughter. Has she read it?

Sandi said...

Oh Auntie Gwen, my daughter wrote this today.... 'My mom has made me laugh, wiped my tears, hugged me tight, watched me succeed, seen me fall, cheered me on, kept me going strong, and drove me crazy!! Moms are a promise from God that you will have a friend forever!'

I feel the same about my kids like you do. My eldest is 27 and a daddy, he taught me so much.
Hugs Sandi xx

Mrs Yappy Dog said...

oh boo hoo - I feel all sad! I wish so much I had enjoyed such a close relationship with my mum ... but I also hope that when my kids leave the nest they will always always know this is home and there is a place here for them. What a lovely old mum you are, your daughter is very blessed. xxx

London City Mum said...

Really lovely post. Has brought tears to my eyes.

LCM x

Rare Lesser Spotted said...

Good stuff Auntie
XX

Family Affairs said...

OMG this made me cry - my oldest will leave next year and SHIT I feel just the same way. How can it have all happened so quickly and what a beautiful girl you've produced to throw out into the world......

At least we both get to this more than once and anyway they'll be back and back and back!

Lxx

Alex said...

Jeez...that`s guaranteed to make the poor lassie greet her eyes oot..!
Might even shed a tear myself if nobody is looking :)
Beautifully written....

diney said...

OK - huge lump in my throat too!! It's so hard when they leave, but so wonderful that they want to come home where their Mum is. Shows you've done a great job of creating a warm nest. That's as much as we can do - and then let them fly. (sniff!)

Chic Mama said...

And she is very beautiful...
Good luck to your daughter and best wishes to you.....I'm dreading those days. XX

auntiegwen said...

Thank you all so kindly for your comments. It's such a privilege to see your child grow and develop.

We dropped her off yesterday and left her in a badly decorated cupboard that wasn't the cleanest. However if she ever gets sent to prison she'll feel a cell is an upgrade!

ps my children don't read my blog but occasionally I'll offer them a peek, usually their birthday blogs. I offered EBD a look but she didn't want to, she said her friend Poonam had already read it and said it made her weep, EBD didn't feel she could read it just yet but she would when she'd settled.

Sending much love to all the other parents who are in the same boat,

ie skint and worried and slightly sad :) xxx

Looking Fab in your forties said...

I know what you are going through, I had two daughters leave home in the space of 9 months! The eldest to her boyfriends house and then the second eldest to University. I have had her home since the 13th June and she goes back on 3rd October, I am so not looking forward to it but guess it will be a little easier this year. x

Casdok said...

Sniff!

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Jon Storey said...

Only twelve months till No 1 Daughter departs the fold for uni and I am almost in tears already, God only knows what I will be like then....