Monday, 27 September 2010

TMI

EBD has survived her freshers week. It's been strange without her but also weird because without her we've had no Hot Boy. Back they both came this weekend and made up for it.

Hot Boy continues to be my main form of entertainment, he has no capacity AT ALL for self moderation, he watches not a word that comes out of his mouth. He seems to forget I am his girlfriends mum and a very happy inhabitant of Mummy Denial Land. On Saturday, I am, as is my wont, prone on the sofa with a good book in our conservatory. Himself and EBD joined me and in one conversation he managed to...

ask me if I'd been to Cyberdog in Camden and seen the butt plugs for sale. And before you ask, strangely enough, no I haven't, they don't sell cake there so I don't visit.

tell me he was buying his mum some KY for Christmas, apparently you can be a bit dry down there at her age, only in her early 50's his mum is, although I suspect he's aged her quite a bit.

ask EBD to reassure me that although he can't fill out his man thong, she still has nothing to complain about. That managed to age me a fair bit too.

On Sunday he came with us as we drove EBD back to uni, about 20 minutes into the journey she texted him to remind him to watch what he was telling me. Too late, by this point in the journey we'd already covered how he'd be raped if he ever went to prison because he's so pretty, advised my son to be a dentist so he could look down girls tops or a gynaecologist so he could ...

At this point, my beautiful son, the one who's had all my maternal love and care lavished upon him. The one who's been brought up to respect women, nay almost to idealise them, says in response to the gynaecology career idea

"Eurggh, no thanks, manky fannies all day long"

Anyone want to adopt them? No? Sure I can't tempt you?

17 comments:

Alienne said...

Bloody hell, he's a cracker isn't he! I don't know about adopting him/them - how about making secret recordings to be posted on youtube? It could go viral.
I think I would have crashed the car laughing! Glad EBD is surviving OK; Lenin only went off to uni on sunday - forgetting her passport which she needed for enrolment tomorrow so I had to go up to London after work today to drop it off. So I haven't had a chance to miss her yet.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I am so not looking forward to being bought KY Jelly for Christmas. Does it happen to many Mums over 50?

Kelloggsville said...

TMI!!

Gigi said...

Oh. My. God. Apparently, this boy has no filter at all.

(butt plugs?? Do I really want to know? Probably not - I'm happy in my little, naive world.)

Previously (Very) Lost in France said...

Well at least it's never dull with him around!

Sandi said...

Hahahaha, was a crazy kid, I would have a very hard time keeping my face serious with him around. It's sort of special that he feels that comfortable to air all to you. But then on the other hand......his poor mum if she knew he was telling you what he was going to get her for Christmas (hehe) and Looking for Blue Sky....I am over 50 but wouldn't know as I haven't had a partner (or anyone) for 7 years, but my aunty told me that it does. Just another one added to the ageing process.
xx Sandi

Nota Bene said...

No wonder you were speeding x

Troy said...

I suspect that if he really does buy his mum KY for Christmas that she'll tell him where to stick it!

Mrs Worthington said...

Hot Boy is hysterical. Ky and butt plugs?! Like your boys response too. I love the drivel that comes out of teenagers mouths.Just wish it wasn't my teenagers sometimes. They have inherited my "put your foot in it" gene

Little Red Hen said...

I'm sure his mother would be mortified to know that you know what her Christmas pressie is.

Rare Lesser Spotted said...

Without doubt - that is the most bizarre conversation between the most unlikely categories of people I think I have ever heard of!
You have such a fascinating life!
X

Family Affairs said...

Ha ha - your poor daughter is probably mortified - but it's good when there is a spy in the camp Lx

Curry Queen said...

Hilarious! I can kind of sympathise with that, having foolishly decided to watch The Inbetweeners in the same room as my daughter last night. What makes me howl with laughter was definitely TMI with her there!

Madame DeFarge said...

I suspect he's all sweetness and light at his own home. It's just your loose Glaswegian ways that drive him to it. Are you sure you're not from Newton Mearns?

Taz said...

I'd down on bending knee thanking the gawds that my EBD hasn't started dating yet....... I know my time will come. :o

auntiegwen said...

Dearest all

I can only apologize for not replying to each and every one of you individually. Life got in the way and made me very tired this week. I can only apologize for my tardiness and send love xxx

Jon Storey said...

You have probably had a good offer by now but otherwise, send the little buggers round here, they would fit in perfectly!