Last night I was an extremely naughty girl teacher. I was drunkety, drunk, drunk
Last night I drank
3 glasses of rose
1 glass of red
and I think 2 glasses of champagne (that'd be what did it)
I was at a quiz evening at school, rock n roll eh ? You should see what I turn down!! (toilet paper party in London, anyone ?)
Anyway, I'm at this quiz night, getting fairly fizzled, then I got fairly flirty with one of the biology teachers purely because he won a box of celebrations. He was going to take them home unopened and it became a sort of personal challenge to see if he'd give me a malteser (not a euphemism) and he did.
I got home and went straight to bed, only 1 round of drunken flirty texting and when they rang me 5 mins after the text I was asleep.
But this morning it feels like I have unleashed hell. I feel truly dreadful. I had to take my car to get serviced, normally I run home from the garage, today I walked home so slowly I was lapped by a pensioner using her shopping trolley as a walking aid, she spoke to me and I had no clue, not a notion as to what she said.
Further up the road I saw a woman in her mid to late 50's who looked like I felt, actually I probably looked like that too, she was a peculiar colour and had hair like a bird's nest. She was dressed in a style that had care in the community stamped all over it and she was wearing a disposable lighter on a cord around her neck. She had poked a camera through a hedge and was taking photos of someones garden.
As I am trying to assemble and process this information I turn the corner onto my street, and I see an elderly Chinese lady in pink floral pyjamas, black mens socks and shoes power walking, yep, power walking, the one where it looks like your arse is chewing a caramel. You couldn't make it up.
It is official, I live in Bonkerstown. I'm going back to bed.
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12 comments:
Love the likeness to looking and feeling like a bag lady! Champagne does it to me every time, hence the reason I don't touch the stuff. I'd be better drinking WD40 for less of a hangover.
Yer a minx, making him hand you over his Malteser! Water, Amdrews Liver Salts and a good puke often aids recovery! X Oh and a fry-up!
yer drunken tart...you'd never get me doing that....erm
Anyway I thought it was Rolos that were the sign of true love?
Haha...wine hangovers are the worst! I think I definitely need to make a trip across the pond just to take a walk around your neighborhood!
"arse chewing a caramel . . ." ahahahaha Thank you, sister, for the full-fledged belly laugh!
last night i had a cosmopolitan, a whiskey sour, an illusion, and one other cocktail whose name i can't remember.
(two for one at a local bar)
that was me you saw power walking this morning.....
Feck all that drink stuff... more importantly, did you win the bloody quiz???
The secret is to drink only champagne, dahling! If only. M xx
PS. Feel better soon.
That's a fair bit of booze by your standards Missy! Merely a drop in the Ocean for an old lush like me, of course! ;o)
I'm rather disappointed that I missed out on the dodgy neighbours when I was there! Must go back soon ;o) xxx
Last night I drank
3 glasses of rose
1 glass of red
and I think 2 glasses of champagne (that'd be what did it)
Ha! Lightweight! ;)
And the Bonkerstown stuff... you sure you were not still asleep in an alcohol induced daze?
You always make me laugh, what a tonic you are. xxxx
Champagne gets me every time - which isn't to say I can afford to guzzle champagne constantly. If only...
Mob - it's a look I seem to be able to pull off nae bother at all !!! sadly x
NB - I am your friend, I will not make smart arse remarks, I am your friend, I will not make smart arse remarks, I seem to have to say that a lot !!!!!
Lisa - you're very welcome, you can see if British men are very different to merrycan ones
Shirley - I think I pinched that from the great Billy Connolly
Sue - I wanna come live in NZ, I'd fit right in x
Neil - hello to the most competitive man in the world, no I didn't but I'll say it again and I'll keep saying it to you competitive types get it, it's not the winning, it's the taking part xxxx x
M - I think you are so right, pink champagne obviously dahling !!! How you live down south !!! xx
Penelope - yep, it was but I felt really awful for the whole of the next day ! xxx
Dutchy - yep, I am a self confessed lightweight and maybe it was a alcohol induced dream but the garage bill for the car was real, sadly !
Flick - oh yep my life is gas entertaining if you don't have to live it !
Katie - oh I keep reading about how cosmopolitan Glasgow is, I'm sure there's plenty of neds who have champagne cocktails in their Kappa trackies !
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