Wednesday 17 June 2009

My day by auntiegwen aged 42 and 3/4's

This morning at 7 am I was putting the bins out when I got spotted by one of my students doing their paper round. I don't know who was more startled but the sight of me in my very short nightie nearly knocked them off their bike.

When I was leaving for work my bins were the only ones left in the street. I spent the drive to work formulating the crushing complaints I was going to make when I phoned the council, I was coming over all Daily Mailish and I had my "I pay exorbitant amounts of council tax" aggrieved tone off to a tee. By the time I'd arrived at work I realised I was a day early, my collection day is Thursday.

I spent the day with my nursery nurse students, they sat their final exam after lunch, they were nervous, they were very nervous. One lady cried. I had a headache. I had no lunch, I had no coffee either. That's probably why I had the headache.

After that I went to the the only mobile phone shop in England that I hadn't visited at the weekend. My "I'm not fussy what new phone I get for my birthday" son is a liar. He is very fussy, there are 2 phones in the world he likes in the price range that I am prepared to pay. Neither of them are available. His birthday is tomorrow.

I drive to a neighbouring high school to watch a recycling and ecology showcase. It started at 4pm, I was 5 minutes late, I had to do the bad mummy slink of shame in. My beautiful baby daughter had made a dress out of crisp packets, her dress and her narration lasted around 45 seconds. I was there for 2 hours and 25 minutes, there's only so much recycling a girl can take. My limit was reached in about 10 minutes.

I drive home and make tea for 3 ungrateful offspring. After tea, I put presents in gift bags ( no wrapping paper, not ecologically sound, I will reuse gift bags, one has a pink fairy on, just the job for a 14 year old rugby player) I bake a birthday cake, it is the 43rd birthday cake I have baked for my children. They haven't really evolved or improved but the weans love them.

I attempted to help BBD with her algebra but failed, successfully helped TBS with his GSCE English transition work and filled in a consent form for EBD to go on a trip. Resist the urge to say "more feckin money" It is of course imperative to my child's education and future career prospects that she goes to see "Little Shop of Horrors" Imperative.

I read NB's blog about the KoL gig and don't feel jealous at all when I realise Glasvegas were the support. I am happy for him, really I am.

I prepare for a lesson on research methods for tomorrow. I drink coffee, think about running then it rains so I eat a fruit and nut toblerone. Why not ?

I take my make up off, do teeth, into bed and blog this. I am exhausted. It isn't even 9 o'clock.

And in my head is the the refrain from that funny song about mums that says

"And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends"


Tim Atkinson said...

How does that one go?

scrappysue said...

you are SO funny. you make the mundane so freakin' hilarious.

Nota Bene said...

"They haven't really evolved"...are you sure that isn't the kids you're speaking about...

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I'm knackered just reading this!

Squirmy Popple said...

A dress made of crisp packets? I'm intrigued?

Anonymous said...

And people wonder why we drink! ;o) xx

Shirley said...

I'm pretty sure that when mothers are awarded their angel wings, it's because of all the school stuff they've sat through -- politely waiting for their own child's 15 seconds in the spotlight.

auntiegwen said...

Tim - it's on my blog, under things your mother says !

Sue - it's only hilarious cos it's not your life

NB - we all accept that my kids are completely incapabale of functioning in any way shape or form without me

Mob - that's why I look so feckin old ! x

Katie - Walkers crisp packets stapled onto a bubble wrap base, I'm sure she'll be at London fashion week next time !

Penelope - I know, aren't you surprised we don't drink more ? x

Shirley - never a truer word ! x

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Gwennie, I had a lovely hour or so last night, catching up with all your life, loves and laughs, and your gorgeous weans... Thank you so, you are just so funny and you lifted my spirits... Merci mille!