I hate homework

I really do, as a child I seemed to spend all my Sundays doing it. As a teacher I hated setting it because I knew I'd have a fight to get it back in and then I'd have to mark it. As a parent, I hate it because I have to get involved in a way my parents managed to avoid. If it's a subject I know about I mind less, but attracting the wrong men, repelling the right men, lip gloss merits and eating chocolate till you feel sick are strangely missing from the national curriculum.

I have been a mummy for a very long time and it's getting quite wearing to measure rainfall over a week or make an erupting volcano or anything else the year 8 geography teachers get out of the Times Educational Supplement sharing resources site for the 3rd time.

This week, Beautiful Baby Daughter has to measure our carbon footprint. I hate this topic already and we've only just started. The BBD has not been blessed with the can't be arsed gene like the rest of us and she espouses causes with the zeal of the newly converted. She is a girl looking for a cause, when the community Police Officer came to Girls Brigade and gave them a talk on the dangers of drink and drugs, my life was a feckin nightmare. She had this wee whizzy wheel thing that added up your alcohol units and it fair put you off a second glass I can tell you.

She is now a carbon footprint Nazi. Our house is causing all the global warming problems and it's most probably the reason why people are stuck in airports over the world waiting to get back here. Some of my light fittings don't have energy efficient bulbs and not all my appliances are A rated, some of our battery operated devices (steady now) we don't recharge our own batteries for, we leave lights on, use too many gadgets and aren't on a green tariff. On the plus side I did get big ticks for always recycling paper, glass and plastic and never using a tumble drier and I have taught my children not to run the tap whilst brushing their teeth but overall we are not very green, maybe a pale wishy washy eau de nil rather than emerald.

I will just have to wait for this topic to be over and she gets converted to a new cause.