Tuesday 24 August 2010

My summers

Due to my inefficient family planning I had my 3 children in 4 and 1/2 years. Eldest Beautiful Daughter was 3 and 3 months when The Beautiful Son was born, then she was 4 and 7 months and The Beautiful Son was 16 months when Beautiful Baby Daughter arrived.

5 years ago the get back to school campaign took most of the summer holidays with 3 sets of uniform, PE kit, school shoes (Clarks shoe shop the week before term is in my personal Room 101, wasn't that the 7th circle of Hell? ) not forgetting 3 new school bags, 3 new lunch boxes and 3 new pencil cases and all the things to put in them. Then I had to label everything for all of my 3 beautiful children when all I needed was a stiff drink after spending what felt like weeks cajoling very reluctant, hot and bothered offspring round shops.

I now only have the Beautiful Baby Daughter in a uniform and needing school shoes. There is only her school bag and pencil case to be filled. This is the least year she will need it. Next year she will join her brother at the 14-19 college we have here.

The Beautiful Son goes to school in his own clothes, and takes a pen just in case his classroom doesn't have a computer or a laptop for him to scribe onto his school account and be saved on a memory stick. He keeps all his school equipment in the back pocket of his hanging off his arse jeans, showing a buttock clad in Jack Wills or TopMan pants.

To stop me getting bored and to replace the stress lost by me not having to play the get 3 kids back to school game, a new addition to my summer has been the wait for results game. This is the finale of the cross shouty screaming exam month of June where my children attempt to sit more exams than they eat meals. I love June and August. Muchly.

Sending all good thoughts to fellow parents who are, like myself, waiting for an offspring to meander home with their GCSE results. The Beautiful Son has sat half of his this year and will get to do the other half next year. Don't get your hopes up, he managed to be late for some and then sit the wrong paper for another.

So for the last 3 years I have spent August waiting for results, I will spend the next 5 years doing the same. Then Glory be to God in the highest, in 2015 Beautiful Baby Daughter will sit her last exams, her A2 levels and will leave school.

Then I will have a big gin and hope I can still afford to live in a house as I have to give all my money to the place where they take my children and train them to drink and party to Olympic standard, I believe some people call them universities?

Should you have any back to school shopping to do, the lovely people at vouchercodes have money off vouchers for school stuff. Just click on the name of the store you would like and the magic bloggy fairy will take you there and give you money off. So if you want you could go to MARKS AND SPENCER or you could go to TESCO

How cool is that? and with the money you save you can treat yourself to something nice like cake or gin. You're so welcome.


Working Mum said...

Yikes!! I'm glad I've only got one to sort out for September! And I've already started to subtly and subliminally give her ideas of NOT going to that money pit they call university (I know she's only six, but how expensive will it be in twelve years' time?!)

But admit it, you'll miss Clark's shoe shops, won't you? He he he!

Sueann said...

Sounds too complicated!! Kids here have final exams in April and early May to see if they can advance to the next grade. This is done every year for 12 years! Then it is off to that drinking and sleeping in place we call college! Sigh! And we pay for this??? Yikes

libby said...

There should be a prize at the end of it all...if they don't end up on drugs/in hospital/prison and we can say that we have spent 18 years feeding/watering and 'edumacatin' them and they are still fit to talk nicely to people then our job is done...pass the gin bottle...

Ayak said...

Oh the joys of motherhood...and don't go thinking you're off the hook when the final child takes the final exam. With every passing year, the older they get, the more stress they create. We wouldn't be without them though!

AGuidingLife said...

happy thought - any other good news to pass on or joy for me to look forward to (sic) !!!!

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I like the sound of the 14-19 College. I'd send mine to one of those if I could find one over here. Just a pen going to school in the mornings? Wow, best not let my Angel read this, she would be green x

auntiegwen said...

WM - even though it's costing me, I am excited for her going, with all the moving out, being independant and all that entails.
Only 1 more year of Clarks for me :)

SueAnn - thanks seeems much more straightforward but in the UK, the Government seem to like testing children (ours are the most tested in Europe, I believe)

Libby - there should be a big prize - maybe a nice voucher for a relaxing week at a spa? that'd be lovely

Ayak - my mother tells me the first 25 years are the worst!!!

S - that'll do you for today, I@m always happy to share, my dear :)

LFBS - don't forget the memory stick!!!! that takes up a fair bit of space x

Laura said...

Kids? Nope, not me, never ever ever! Far to much stress! Don't know how you do it auntie, and you seem to be so kept together as well.

Rarelesserspotted said...

Why are you waiting until 2015 for the big gin!

Suzanne Ross Jones said...

I well remember the stress of waiting for my own exam results. We have another two years beofore vising that joy again in this house.

My 13-year-old will be in uniform for the next four years - no 14-19 college here sadly.


auntiegwen said...

Lolly - I would have no blog if it weren't for my 3 !!!!

RLS - I know, who am I kidding? xx

Suzanne - it's a double edged sword the uniform, if you have a teen that is fussy about what they were it can be a mighty expensive business xx