Trying to stop eating fruit and nut toblerones. This is not easy as Sainsbury's has the big massive ones on offer for £2, and how often do you get the joy of a of massive one for £2, not often when you're my age.
Running - well, I've been once and I may go later today, close enough.
Fretting about her hair - I have had it cut and I have had something fancy done with colour. I am usually very boringly dark brown and straight (ok, dark brown and grey, pedantic lot that you are) I now have caramel, honey and toffee slices, do you now want to eat me?
Dancing in my jammies ala Chris Moyles, same movement same body shape but I, cunning linguist that I am sing "I'm in my jammies girl" makes me laugh, if you don't listen to radio 1 you may be a bit lost but you can youtube Chris Dom and Dave dancing and you'll get the gist. If I can get the weans to film me, I'll stick a wee video up for you.
Weighing up whether the derision from the daughters would be balanced out with the joy of wearing the yummy fitflop boots. They are soooooooooooooooooo comfy and soft.
Wondering if she did the right thing by closing the door on someone. This person, once upon a time was so close to me. Then we had no contact and completely out of the blue they turned up at my door on Tuesday night and wanted to talk. I told them it wasn't a good time and said goodbye. I have been mildly rattled ever since.
Feeling more of a bitch than usual, I have been low level irritated and hard to please this week. Someone who really doesn't deserve it has taken the brunt of it. To top it off, they have sent me a bouquet of flowers this am, to cheer me up, again my name is auntiegwen and I am a class A bitch
Friday, 27 November 2009
Thursday, 19 November 2009
In which we inflict our weirdness on an unsuspecting world.
I have some little quirks of personality that make me unique, you undoubtedly do yourself and so have The Beautiful Children. We know and love each other and we're pretty cool with each others weird stuff. When we are at home we do have lots of chat and everyone tries to outfunny each other, we are a big fat bunch of show offs and a whole heap of strange. But you kinda don't notice that in your own house where you exist in a cosy little vacuum.
But we went out today, all together, the family Von auntiegwen went to the dentist.
We arrived and were met by the world's most sullen dental nurse (Olympic standard for sure), we did some form filling in and then entered the waiting room. Cue the Twilight Zone music. There aren't 4 seats together so we find seats where we can. Now regular humans are there, being quiet. This does not perturb The Beautiful Children at all, they continue to hold their conversation across the room, they didn't get the memo that says you have to be quiet in any kind of a place that smells antiseptic and people wear white uniforms.
Eldest Beautiful Daughter starts getting twitchy because on the wall there is a plug socket, a double plug socket and one switch is on and the other is off. They have to be both on or both off, yep, this is the same one who has a phobia of feet. So I can see her looking and I wonder if she'll get up and flick the switch in a nonchalant fashion or if she'll hyperventilate and faint. Oh no, the bold girl herself, marched up and switched them both to off and explained to a rather startled waiting room that uneven switches make her feel sick, then proceeded to tell them how in her sociology class there is a row of 3 double plugs and she has now trained the teacher to sort them before her lesson. She returns to her seat, not a bother on her and I flippantly (I know everythings my fault before you start) say "Good girl yourself, I thought you were going to have to sort the magazines out"
Oh my, back up she gets and starts to tidy the magazines up, she arranges them in size order and straightens out the bent covers and makes them all line up exactly in a row.
Then The Beautiful Son chips in with "You didn't arrange them by genre or date, you're such a fail at OCD, they'll take your badge back off you"
So with every eye in the room on her and the regular humans beginning to wonder if we should be out without a carer back up she gets and starts to re sort the magazines.
We have been waiting around 15 minutes or so when The Beautiful Son gets up and has a wander round the room, reading the notices, still talking loudly in his very exaggerated Scottish accent about when he was a laddie (he pretends to be a very old Scottish man, he sounds like an unsexy Sean Connery) when he stops in front of a picture that has 3 photos of smiling mouths and he exclaims in delight (so much so that he forgot to do the accent) "Look, it's me, remember when Mr Dentist took my photo the last time" and he points to a very obviously female mouth, in his defense it was the nicest one. His sisters hoot with derision and tell him that a- this is a woman's mouth and b- that photo was an x ray. He recovers quickly and back in unsexy Sean Connery voice retorts " Ah dinnae ken why he was xraying ma mooth, it wisnae even a bit broken"
The Beautiful Baby Daughter who is the most functional and sensible of us all looks totally disgusted and disgruntled at her fate of being landed with us, the weird family. She plugs her thumb back in her mouth, puts her ipod in and ignores us, she still manages to look more adult than the other 2 combined. This is actually quite hard to do whilst sucking your thumb.
The waiting room are perplexed at the bizarre theatre of strange before them but are glad when we are called through. We could hear (from the other room) and were hurt by the collective sigh of relief.
We don't have our usual dentist but a new one, a Sith Afrikken one, and now TBS morphs into a bad Nelson Mandela Accent and "yisses and viry nice to meet yi" to the new dentist and we all get a clean bill of health, 3 weans all teens and not a filling between them, ever, in their whole life, surely that's worth a good mummy badge?
As we get ready to leave, I'm sure to the whole building's delight and I have to make the new appointment with the sullen girl, remember her? from the beginning of this long and sorry tale, she asks us who we want the appointment with and The Beautiful Son decides he's going to make her smile, with his bad patter, and starts off with a "I've been wi Mr Dentist since I wis a wee laddie, fur 9 years I've been cummin heer and fur 17 of these 18 times I've had Mr Dentist, he's ma pal and I dinnae want 1 of yer new fancy dentists, I'm loyal to ma ain dentist"
And right on cue behind him comes his own dentist who is more than a little surprised to be so enthusiastically greeted by TBS who grabs and shakes his hand all the while explaining that he didn't choose to be unfaithful to him (still in the bad old man unsexy Sean voice) that it was sullen girls fault for sending him to the other dentist. This was accompanied by pointing and wagging of finger to sullen girl. Who has upgraded to being cross and sullen and is now in training to be a Doctors receptionist. Or in therapy.
Like I say, we don't go out much with the regular humans.
But we went out today, all together, the family Von auntiegwen went to the dentist.
We arrived and were met by the world's most sullen dental nurse (Olympic standard for sure), we did some form filling in and then entered the waiting room. Cue the Twilight Zone music. There aren't 4 seats together so we find seats where we can. Now regular humans are there, being quiet. This does not perturb The Beautiful Children at all, they continue to hold their conversation across the room, they didn't get the memo that says you have to be quiet in any kind of a place that smells antiseptic and people wear white uniforms.
Eldest Beautiful Daughter starts getting twitchy because on the wall there is a plug socket, a double plug socket and one switch is on and the other is off. They have to be both on or both off, yep, this is the same one who has a phobia of feet. So I can see her looking and I wonder if she'll get up and flick the switch in a nonchalant fashion or if she'll hyperventilate and faint. Oh no, the bold girl herself, marched up and switched them both to off and explained to a rather startled waiting room that uneven switches make her feel sick, then proceeded to tell them how in her sociology class there is a row of 3 double plugs and she has now trained the teacher to sort them before her lesson. She returns to her seat, not a bother on her and I flippantly (I know everythings my fault before you start) say "Good girl yourself, I thought you were going to have to sort the magazines out"
Oh my, back up she gets and starts to tidy the magazines up, she arranges them in size order and straightens out the bent covers and makes them all line up exactly in a row.
Then The Beautiful Son chips in with "You didn't arrange them by genre or date, you're such a fail at OCD, they'll take your badge back off you"
So with every eye in the room on her and the regular humans beginning to wonder if we should be out without a carer back up she gets and starts to re sort the magazines.
We have been waiting around 15 minutes or so when The Beautiful Son gets up and has a wander round the room, reading the notices, still talking loudly in his very exaggerated Scottish accent about when he was a laddie (he pretends to be a very old Scottish man, he sounds like an unsexy Sean Connery) when he stops in front of a picture that has 3 photos of smiling mouths and he exclaims in delight (so much so that he forgot to do the accent) "Look, it's me, remember when Mr Dentist took my photo the last time" and he points to a very obviously female mouth, in his defense it was the nicest one. His sisters hoot with derision and tell him that a- this is a woman's mouth and b- that photo was an x ray. He recovers quickly and back in unsexy Sean Connery voice retorts " Ah dinnae ken why he was xraying ma mooth, it wisnae even a bit broken"
The Beautiful Baby Daughter who is the most functional and sensible of us all looks totally disgusted and disgruntled at her fate of being landed with us, the weird family. She plugs her thumb back in her mouth, puts her ipod in and ignores us, she still manages to look more adult than the other 2 combined. This is actually quite hard to do whilst sucking your thumb.
The waiting room are perplexed at the bizarre theatre of strange before them but are glad when we are called through. We could hear (from the other room) and were hurt by the collective sigh of relief.
We don't have our usual dentist but a new one, a Sith Afrikken one, and now TBS morphs into a bad Nelson Mandela Accent and "yisses and viry nice to meet yi" to the new dentist and we all get a clean bill of health, 3 weans all teens and not a filling between them, ever, in their whole life, surely that's worth a good mummy badge?
As we get ready to leave, I'm sure to the whole building's delight and I have to make the new appointment with the sullen girl, remember her? from the beginning of this long and sorry tale, she asks us who we want the appointment with and The Beautiful Son decides he's going to make her smile, with his bad patter, and starts off with a "I've been wi Mr Dentist since I wis a wee laddie, fur 9 years I've been cummin heer and fur 17 of these 18 times I've had Mr Dentist, he's ma pal and I dinnae want 1 of yer new fancy dentists, I'm loyal to ma ain dentist"
And right on cue behind him comes his own dentist who is more than a little surprised to be so enthusiastically greeted by TBS who grabs and shakes his hand all the while explaining that he didn't choose to be unfaithful to him (still in the bad old man unsexy Sean voice) that it was sullen girls fault for sending him to the other dentist. This was accompanied by pointing and wagging of finger to sullen girl. Who has upgraded to being cross and sullen and is now in training to be a Doctors receptionist. Or in therapy.
Like I say, we don't go out much with the regular humans.
Friday, 13 November 2009
Reasons me no likey November
It is a month of memories for me. Every week in November I have a painful anniversary. I am always at my lowest possible emotional state this month.
I think it's totally unreasonable that I can't just fast forward and miss the whole month out, I don't mind October and even though I'm mad busy I still enjoy December
My failsafe cure for the glums of sticky toffee pudding and low fat custard, (the low fat part is ESPECIALLY important) just adds to my glumness of my general lardiness.
My less calorific cure for the glums gives me a hangover.
It's always dreich.
I can't get my washing dried outside and I HATE using a tumble drier.
I can't get out and run because it only seems to be not raining and not dark when I'm at work (adding to the lardiness, adding to the glumness).
It gets dark at feck it's early o'clock, I hate it being dark at tea time.
People start using the C word and we know auntie no likey that till December.
I get slightly panicky that I will not be able to fund the C word.
This is the last Christmas I will have all 3 of my children living with me and as I type this I can't see for tears.
I think it's totally unreasonable that I can't just fast forward and miss the whole month out, I don't mind October and even though I'm mad busy I still enjoy December
My failsafe cure for the glums of sticky toffee pudding and low fat custard, (the low fat part is ESPECIALLY important) just adds to my glumness of my general lardiness.
My less calorific cure for the glums gives me a hangover.
It's always dreich.
I can't get my washing dried outside and I HATE using a tumble drier.
I can't get out and run because it only seems to be not raining and not dark when I'm at work (adding to the lardiness, adding to the glumness).
It gets dark at feck it's early o'clock, I hate it being dark at tea time.
People start using the C word and we know auntie no likey that till December.
I get slightly panicky that I will not be able to fund the C word.
This is the last Christmas I will have all 3 of my children living with me and as I type this I can't see for tears.
Sunday, 8 November 2009
University Challenge
Although I love it in Mummy denial land even I must confess that the time has come for even me to accept that the Eldest Beautiful Daughter may actually be going.
I am spending an awful lot of Saturdays in an awful lot of universities all keen to take the cost of my first flat to educate and house the EBD for the next few years.
I love my daughter with all of my heart (and a wee dod of my liver as my granny used to say) and I know that she is not a fully functioning human yet and I know it's my fault.
But this Saturday I thought it would be different, Northampton is rated 7th out of 85 for the degree she wants to do and it was her 2nd choice after Glasgow (who want all her A levels and mine and her dad's inclusive to get in)
I watch her make notes and listen to the tutor speaking and I almost have the proud Mummy smile.
You may have to click on the photo to get the fullest appreciation of what goes on in her head.
Scary, isn't it?
I am spending an awful lot of Saturdays in an awful lot of universities all keen to take the cost of my first flat to educate and house the EBD for the next few years.
I love my daughter with all of my heart (and a wee dod of my liver as my granny used to say) and I know that she is not a fully functioning human yet and I know it's my fault.
But this Saturday I thought it would be different, Northampton is rated 7th out of 85 for the degree she wants to do and it was her 2nd choice after Glasgow (who want all her A levels and mine and her dad's inclusive to get in)
I watch her make notes and listen to the tutor speaking and I almost have the proud Mummy smile.
You may have to click on the photo to get the fullest appreciation of what goes on in her head.
Scary, isn't it?
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
25 years ago today...
I started my nurse training, yes I am aware how old that makes me sound. At 18 years old I thought I was very mature and worldy wise, I was in fact a wee girl dressing up and playing nurses.
I trained and then worked in many areas of nursing from 1984 till 1999, it remains the occupation I did for the longest time. The things I learned will stay with me forever.
The skills and experience nursing gave me are too many to mention but I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the NHS for training me and giving me the opportunity of meeting some amazing people and allowing me to grow up and become me.
So thank you for teaching me to become a much more rounded and grounded human and illustrating with crystal clarity how incredibly lucky I have always been.
I trained and then worked in many areas of nursing from 1984 till 1999, it remains the occupation I did for the longest time. The things I learned will stay with me forever.
The skills and experience nursing gave me are too many to mention but I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the NHS for training me and giving me the opportunity of meeting some amazing people and allowing me to grow up and become me.
So thank you for teaching me to become a much more rounded and grounded human and illustrating with crystal clarity how incredibly lucky I have always been.
Sunday, 1 November 2009
All women turn into their mother
I don't mind that, I really like mine. I feel slightly sorry for my daughters though. For the people who don't know us in real life, my eldest beautiful daughter is just me but without the grey hair and wrinkles. We have the same tastes, the same gestures, expressions and are spookily similar.
She was out at last night and was talking to a friend's older brother who's home from uni.
EBD - "What are you studying?"
Friends older brother " I'm doing a PHD in computing"
and before eldest beautiful daughter could stop herself, she hooted derisorously and this fell out her mouth
"What, a Doctor of clickety, clickety and facebook?, would you give yourself peace!!!"
She said she could even hear me as she said it !
She was out at last night and was talking to a friend's older brother who's home from uni.
EBD - "What are you studying?"
Friends older brother " I'm doing a PHD in computing"
and before eldest beautiful daughter could stop herself, she hooted derisorously and this fell out her mouth
"What, a Doctor of clickety, clickety and facebook?, would you give yourself peace!!!"
She said she could even hear me as she said it !
Friday, 30 October 2009
10 things I did/places I went/people I saw in October
I went to London baby on the 8th to meet the very lovely Scrappy Sue and Mr Scrappy on their silver wedding anniversary tour. if you click on the link you can read about it and see what I think is the most flattering photo taken of me ever. It may be known to some of you that travel/driving/getting where I need to go is something of a challenege for me. That trip to London was immensely challenging, the Bakerloo line was closed and they asked us to use an altenative route, auntie no know an alternative route, auntie gets to the tube station to find it closed due to overcrowding, auntie has no feckin clue what bus to get, auntie spends the time waiting for the tube station to re open reading tube map, auntie ended up on several tubes and eventually arrives in the Ace Motorbike Cafe where she had exactly 1 hour before she had to do it all in reverse. This time it's much easier, Sue's sister is also with us and she lives in London, she gets us on the train as we can go some of the way together, she puts me on the tube to get to St Pancras so I can get the train back to auntiegwens house, but she puts me on the wrong tube. I would be stone mad if I had to live in London and do that daily.
The very next day October 9th I spent 7 hours and all of my Friday evening driving to Glasgow. The M6 is a bitch as usual, the children are asleep in minutes as usual and I feel so much better when I cross the border as usual. We went to see Billy Connolly on the Saturday evening and had a blast. It was a very Glasgow orientated show and he said how he felt this visceral pull about his home city and I know only too well what he means. No matter where I live and how long I stay away, this is where I belong.
My gadget mad dad having exhausted every possibility of gadget purchase has extended his repetoire, gadget purchasing for others. He wants to buy my mum a laptop for Christmas. My mother would want a laptop like I would want a subscription to The Guardian or the Daily Mail. She is getting a Sony Vaaio in pink. I am now the proud owner of a Tomtom XL Classic sat nav and my children now have a Wii. My dad has been poorly, I worry, my dad smokes like a chimney and it's now caught up with him. I worry, a lot.
After having a week to recover the following Thursday the 15th finds me back on the train to London to accompany NB to see Echo and The Bunnymen at the Camden Roundhouse, no, he has no idea why either. And he bought 4 tickets. Strangely enough no one wanted to come with us. The first thing he said as he met me off the train was "You look grumpy" that's what travelling in London does to me, makes me look like the wrath of God. The gig was packed, I mean absolutely rammed, I had no clue there were that many Bunny fans. However, himself and I agreed twas a poor gig. Never mind, we still have McIntyre and Ross to look forward to.
I get a homecooked meal from my lovely friend Sixy. I only get homecooked meals if other people do them. I agree with her that it might be slightly churlish of me to report my mother to social services for neglecting me in that department. I had a lovely evening with her and her bidey in, I heart them all and not just because they feed me. They listen to my "I'm so crap at dates it's amusing" stories too. No, I don't know what they get out of being friends with me either.
Matthew chief matey boy who belongs to the Eldest Beautiful Daughter came home from uni for a weekend. He is living in halls, EBD went to visit but refused to stay, there was a doughnut in the shower (jam, I asked too) and cereal down the toilet. This makes her worried, she now realises she will find it difficult to live with others. So he has to come see us. He'd missed us, we'd missed him. Muchly.
I went to Brighton with Eldest Beautiful Daughter, it is now officially where I want to live. I loved the shops, the pubs, the restaurants and most of all I loved the sea and the walking along beside it. Even in the rain. I loved it.
I was wooed fairly seriously this month, posh chocs, red roses and when I said I was uncomfortable with expensive gift giving every date, he gave me a home cooked meal (where he baked his own bread) and after dinner took me into the garden where he gave me fireworks (the kind you have on November 5th, the regular kind, the terms fireworks is not a euphanism, just clearing that up for you) This makes him the nicest man I am reluctant to have a relationship with this year.
I am a poorly girl. I have a cold, if I was male I'd have man flu. I am wide awake and it's the middle of the night. I will find it extremely difficult to be dynamic at work tomorrow. Yes, actually, your auntie is dynamic at work on a daily, nay hourly basis, thank you very much
I finally, finally did my feckin tax return. How come I work so hard and am so tired but I only earned fourpence and a caramel?
Monday, 26 October 2009
10 things I really hate about the way I look
My height - I so wish I was taller. It is so hard to be authorative to your children when you have to look up to do so.
My hair - I now have grey and I can't always be arsed to colour it.
My teeth - not straight and yes Mother I do regret not wearing my braces now just like you told me I would.
My wrinkle - oh I have a fair few but I have 1 that is on my left hand side of my mouth that really bothers me.
My not being a size 8 anymore - I am too small to carry off any other size
My boobs - I cannot carry off sophisticated chic when I am this curvy and men do talk to them, a lot.
My freckles - I have tons of them in the summer
My legs - runners legs, best kept hidden
My body hair - I hate the faff of keeping legs, eyebrows, Hollywood in shape but I have been brainwashed into thinking hair is unpleasant.
My lack of youthful glow - if you can buy some in a bottle please let me know from where.
Ranty auntie has left the building, normal middle aged Pollyanna service will resume tomorrow. I blame it on the back to work after being on holiday and still not doing that feckin tax return personally.
My hair - I now have grey and I can't always be arsed to colour it.
My teeth - not straight and yes Mother I do regret not wearing my braces now just like you told me I would.
My wrinkle - oh I have a fair few but I have 1 that is on my left hand side of my mouth that really bothers me.
My not being a size 8 anymore - I am too small to carry off any other size
My boobs - I cannot carry off sophisticated chic when I am this curvy and men do talk to them, a lot.
My freckles - I have tons of them in the summer
My legs - runners legs, best kept hidden
My body hair - I hate the faff of keeping legs, eyebrows, Hollywood in shape but I have been brainwashed into thinking hair is unpleasant.
My lack of youthful glow - if you can buy some in a bottle please let me know from where.
Ranty auntie has left the building, normal middle aged Pollyanna service will resume tomorrow. I blame it on the back to work after being on holiday and still not doing that feckin tax return personally.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
10 things I liked and disliked in October
Me Likeys
Afternoon naps, God, they're good, I've had a few this week as I've been on holiday.
Not having to get up early, me likey muchly, I don't think I've been dressed before lunchtime. Again due to being on holiday.
Reading, I have read soooooooooooooooooooo much, currently completely re reading Joanna Trollope and enjoying all over again. Is there a "I've got time cos I'm on holiday" theme emerging
Cake, twas the Beautiful Baby Daughters birthday so I made the 44th chocolate birthday cake and enjoyed eating it too.
Writing, I have managed to do some both here and on Mad Manic Mamas This means I feel much less guilty and I like that.
Me No Likeys
I am getting fat. This is entirely my own fault. I have stopped running but not stopped eating, I am a stupid woman who is becoming enormous.
I still haven't done that feckin tax return, procratination thy name is auntiegwen.
My house is still not completely clean and I have been on holiday, I have been reading and having afternoon naps, my excuse for having a messy house is usually work, that is acceptable to my slightly Presbyterian soul, being on holiday and not cleaning is just slatternly and not acceptable.
I still haven't ran this week and it's Thursday, see above for the I've been too busy at work excuse and how that doesn't hold up with the fact I'm on holiday.
Ucas forms, EBD and decisions, not the best combination. Should you wish to hear the full 3 verses and the disco chorus of that one, it's on the MMM site And before any of my slightly less tactful friends wade in, yes I do know where she gets it from.
Afternoon naps, God, they're good, I've had a few this week as I've been on holiday.
Not having to get up early, me likey muchly, I don't think I've been dressed before lunchtime. Again due to being on holiday.
Reading, I have read soooooooooooooooooooo much, currently completely re reading Joanna Trollope and enjoying all over again. Is there a "I've got time cos I'm on holiday" theme emerging
Cake, twas the Beautiful Baby Daughters birthday so I made the 44th chocolate birthday cake and enjoyed eating it too.
Writing, I have managed to do some both here and on Mad Manic Mamas This means I feel much less guilty and I like that.
Me No Likeys
I am getting fat. This is entirely my own fault. I have stopped running but not stopped eating, I am a stupid woman who is becoming enormous.
I still haven't done that feckin tax return, procratination thy name is auntiegwen.
My house is still not completely clean and I have been on holiday, I have been reading and having afternoon naps, my excuse for having a messy house is usually work, that is acceptable to my slightly Presbyterian soul, being on holiday and not cleaning is just slatternly and not acceptable.
I still haven't ran this week and it's Thursday, see above for the I've been too busy at work excuse and how that doesn't hold up with the fact I'm on holiday.
Ucas forms, EBD and decisions, not the best combination. Should you wish to hear the full 3 verses and the disco chorus of that one, it's on the MMM site And before any of my slightly less tactful friends wade in, yes I do know where she gets it from.
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
10 things I heart about my baby teen
Today the Beautiful Baby Daughter becomes a teenager. She is the most complex of my children and is the one that we have the most fireworks with. But our puss cat makes us our family.
She is always busy, she never complains of being bored, she will just find herself doing something, very rarely does she just relax.
She is hugely creative, she can paint, draw, design and make things.
She is scared of no one and nothing. If you piss off the puss cat, she'll not be long in letting you know.
She is the incredibly capable and self contained, she is the most domestic of us all, quite able to look after herself and us. She could actually leave home tomorrow and be fine, unlike her sister who will be at least 36 before she is a fully functioning human.
She has her own taste and won't be swayed. She lives with a house full of indie rock n roll afficionados and she likes Take That and Girls Aloud. And cares not a jot when she's mocked.
She will write you little notes and give you certificates telling you how good you are at things. These are priceless. Ditto my "Tokens of Glory" - every year on Mothers Day, she makes me a beautiful box and inside I get some tokens, I get a "cup of coffee on demand" sometimes a "tidy up with no moaning" and my very favourite is an "end an argument with Lucy" one. If you knew her, you would know how good that one is. She is a shit hot arguer, top barristers practice their debating skills with her.
She is very smart, focused and will work for what she wants. She really just goes for it. This is refreshing after the other 2 laid back work shy articles I've reared.
She is an incredibly beautiful child, delicate and graceful. She moves like a dancer, has amazing bone structure and the crowning glory of that titian hair. Photo's never do her justice, she would have painters reaching for their brush to capture her colouring.
She is loving, sweet and kind. Even though she lives with us and we are a challenge for her on a daily basis, she remains loving, sweet and kind.
She still looks like a baby when she's asleep, the thumb still remains very firmly in the rosebud mouth and the cheek still has that babyish curve.
Happy Birthday to my baby, a teenager today, you are precious beyond words but you are mo chridhe, my heart.
Friday, 16 October 2009
10 things I really have to do in October
Have a weeks holiday, I am exhausted, my new job has tired me out. I have worked for 13 weeks straight, I am unused to this as I have done term time only since the year 2000. Yes, I know, welcome to the real world with no teachers holidays, thank you I am now one of the regular people. Stop laughing or I'll put you on the naughty step.
My tax return. It is due on October 30 th and no I can't do it online for the Jan deadline as I have to do a paper return because of foreign income.
Clean my house, it is truly filthy, I am a lazy article. It's shameful.
Go out of my house to let my ex parents in law come to visit their grandchildren. This is why the house will be cleaned. My Eldest Beautiful Daughter will not go to her dad's house where they are staying. If I go out they will be able to see her. I don't think that my presence would enhance their enjoyment of their visit somehow.
I need to finish shopping for Beautiful Baby Daughter's birthday on the 20 th, on that day I will become the mother of 3 teenagers.
Remember my niece's birthday on October 26th, my sister gets very shirty with me when I forget, will someone remind me ?
Run, my trainers haven't been on at all this month. Consequently I am getting lardy, last night I told my friend I had no wobbly bits at all. I lied.
Write a post for Madmanicmammas I am a piss poor contributor, I am so sorry Saz and Fhina, you work so hard at it and I am not doing my share.
Actually read this months book for book group, I have been a very bad book group member and I have not read the last 3 books I've been set.
That's only 9 I know, I have time for mischief now ! aw it's a happy wee auntie I am this lovely day. Wherever you are I hope you are as happy as I am right now.
My tax return. It is due on October 30 th and no I can't do it online for the Jan deadline as I have to do a paper return because of foreign income.
Clean my house, it is truly filthy, I am a lazy article. It's shameful.
Go out of my house to let my ex parents in law come to visit their grandchildren. This is why the house will be cleaned. My Eldest Beautiful Daughter will not go to her dad's house where they are staying. If I go out they will be able to see her. I don't think that my presence would enhance their enjoyment of their visit somehow.
I need to finish shopping for Beautiful Baby Daughter's birthday on the 20 th, on that day I will become the mother of 3 teenagers.
Remember my niece's birthday on October 26th, my sister gets very shirty with me when I forget, will someone remind me ?
Run, my trainers haven't been on at all this month. Consequently I am getting lardy, last night I told my friend I had no wobbly bits at all. I lied.
Write a post for Madmanicmammas I am a piss poor contributor, I am so sorry Saz and Fhina, you work so hard at it and I am not doing my share.
Actually read this months book for book group, I have been a very bad book group member and I have not read the last 3 books I've been set.
That's only 9 I know, I have time for mischief now ! aw it's a happy wee auntie I am this lovely day. Wherever you are I hope you are as happy as I am right now.
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
10 things I've been asked to give you.
I have been given a lovely "Honest Scrap" manly award from Matthew. Again my computer says no, it is a corrupt image (like the lovely Rachels) I fear I need a new computer. If you haven't read Matthew go forthwith, he writes with elegance and pace and poise. As part of the award I have to give you 10 unknown facts about me. As I am a great big fat show off I fear there is nothing left but as I am a great spouter of too much infomation, here goes
If I was a boy I would have been called John.
My parents got married the day JFK was assassinated, kinda put a dampner on their day.
I am shit scared of mice.
The smell of eggs (especially scrambled) makes me gag, I have on several occassions thrown up, most notably when trying to feed an elderly patient the hated scrambled eggs.
My ringtone is "For reasons unknown" by The Killers
I have had 3 completely natural (yep that's right, no pain killers AT ALL) childbirths. No stitches either and I was in labour for a collective total of a smidge over 6 hours. My dad said I am a peasant, I could give birth and be back at work in the fields an hour later.
I have a mole at the top of my left thigh and another right of centre on my tummy.
I am not remotely ticklish, anywhere.
I have been in love 4 times.
My neck and my back are ridiculously sensitive, ridiculously.
I am meant to give the award to 10 people and they then have to do the tag. As I cannot pass on the award can I still tag 10 of you? Please feel free to do the tag nick the award picture from Matthews blog and tell him auntiegwen sent you.
If I was a boy I would have been called John.
My parents got married the day JFK was assassinated, kinda put a dampner on their day.
I am shit scared of mice.
The smell of eggs (especially scrambled) makes me gag, I have on several occassions thrown up, most notably when trying to feed an elderly patient the hated scrambled eggs.
My ringtone is "For reasons unknown" by The Killers
I have had 3 completely natural (yep that's right, no pain killers AT ALL) childbirths. No stitches either and I was in labour for a collective total of a smidge over 6 hours. My dad said I am a peasant, I could give birth and be back at work in the fields an hour later.
I have a mole at the top of my left thigh and another right of centre on my tummy.
I am not remotely ticklish, anywhere.
I have been in love 4 times.
My neck and my back are ridiculously sensitive, ridiculously.
I am meant to give the award to 10 people and they then have to do the tag. As I cannot pass on the award can I still tag 10 of you? Please feel free to do the tag nick the award picture from Matthews blog and tell him auntiegwen sent you.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
10 things I will never do again
Wear leggings and I'm sure we all understand why. And are probably grateful too.
Date a Virgo (eventually I have learned, took me long enough but hey) They are no good with Leo's like me.
Ditto management or IT consultants (I know, I'm crap and I pick the same type over and over again) And we're not going to mention the BMW drivers either. No more will you (unkind friends) be able to call me the executive shag.
Be as horrid to my boyfriends, mea culpa, I have been a crap girlfriend. Please, ex boyfriends if you still read me, accept the apology but don't feel the need to enlighten the other readers, they still like me.
Get divorced, I don't even want to begin my divorce maths (if I didn't get divorced and have to spend ten grand I could buy...) it's a feckin lot of Louboutins or Choos or Prada bags or even a new car, or a round the world trip, feck it's so depressing, just wasted money. The last time I spent anything like that I got a new frock, a party and a fortnight in the sunshine.
Be financially dependant on anyone.
Be complacent about my career, I have shocked myself at how ambitious I am becoming, truly, it's late blooming but ferocious.
Worry about how clean and tidy my house is. It will never be as clean and tidy as it used to be but I'm not the woman I was and I don't like the me I was then, so fair play.
Worry generally, it's a bit of a waste of effort, que sera sera.
Not appreciate how extremely lucky I am and what a fantastic life I have.
Date a Virgo (eventually I have learned, took me long enough but hey) They are no good with Leo's like me.
Ditto management or IT consultants (I know, I'm crap and I pick the same type over and over again) And we're not going to mention the BMW drivers either. No more will you (unkind friends) be able to call me the executive shag.
Be as horrid to my boyfriends, mea culpa, I have been a crap girlfriend. Please, ex boyfriends if you still read me, accept the apology but don't feel the need to enlighten the other readers, they still like me.
Get divorced, I don't even want to begin my divorce maths (if I didn't get divorced and have to spend ten grand I could buy...) it's a feckin lot of Louboutins or Choos or Prada bags or even a new car, or a round the world trip, feck it's so depressing, just wasted money. The last time I spent anything like that I got a new frock, a party and a fortnight in the sunshine.
Be financially dependant on anyone.
Be complacent about my career, I have shocked myself at how ambitious I am becoming, truly, it's late blooming but ferocious.
Worry about how clean and tidy my house is. It will never be as clean and tidy as it used to be but I'm not the woman I was and I don't like the me I was then, so fair play.
Worry generally, it's a bit of a waste of effort, que sera sera.
Not appreciate how extremely lucky I am and what a fantastic life I have.
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
10 Things I always lie about
Last October I posted a whole bunch of 10 themed posts. I kinda liked it so here we go again for 2009.
How many times it took me to get my maths 'O' level. And the grade.
How many attempts it took to pass my driving test. I can't actually remember the truth now.
How many sexual partners I have had. (incidentally I add some on to make me sound less boring) Currently if asked I fess up to 7,012.
I often tell people, with a very straight face that I am Lorraine Kelly's cousin, Rik my ex head of department believed that for months, he even went home and told his wife.
How much I earn. Someone once told me you should earn your age, I am very young still, in that sense only.
What weight I am. I have an official weight, like the Queen has an official birthday, sure where's the harm?, I can eat as many fruit and nut toblerones as I like then.
How many shoes and handbags I own. The total makes me sound shallow and obsessed.
How tall I am, I tell people I am taller, I always wear heels and lie .
How many classic books I have read. If I try and pass off Ulysses, War and Peace and that Salman Rushdie yoke, don't believe me. Ditto "The Alchemist"
What time I left home, I am perpetually late and always blame it on traffic, always.
Any other liars out there or am I on my own?
How many times it took me to get my maths 'O' level. And the grade.
How many attempts it took to pass my driving test. I can't actually remember the truth now.
How many sexual partners I have had. (incidentally I add some on to make me sound less boring) Currently if asked I fess up to 7,012.
I often tell people, with a very straight face that I am Lorraine Kelly's cousin, Rik my ex head of department believed that for months, he even went home and told his wife.
How much I earn. Someone once told me you should earn your age, I am very young still, in that sense only.
What weight I am. I have an official weight, like the Queen has an official birthday, sure where's the harm?, I can eat as many fruit and nut toblerones as I like then.
How many shoes and handbags I own. The total makes me sound shallow and obsessed.
How tall I am, I tell people I am taller, I always wear heels and lie .
How many classic books I have read. If I try and pass off Ulysses, War and Peace and that Salman Rushdie yoke, don't believe me. Ditto "The Alchemist"
What time I left home, I am perpetually late and always blame it on traffic, always.
Any other liars out there or am I on my own?
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Score
Aren't they lovely? I mean really so, so beautiful. The shoes of beauty if you will.
I just wanted to let you know that I had an amazing Saturday night, there was red wine, sneaky smoking, copious amounts of flirting and the sexy new shoes. And I didn't even have to leave the conservatory, I heart staying in on a Saturday night.
And this is why I look like I do this morning.
But it was worth it :) x
Friday, 2 October 2009
My lovely weekend by auntiegwen age 43 and a bit
This weekend I could have been
a - in Amsterdam at a bloggy meet up seeing The Bitch who is Dutch and Penelope.
b - In Cambridge with an ex who is being very flirty.
c - Visiting another friend who lives far ish away for a weekend of gossip, giggling and wine.
This weekend I will be
a - having a 2 for 1 pub meal with my friend Eileen tonight, still nice but not quite Amsterdam.
b - unable to visit anyone unless they live within walking distance or on bus or train routes.
c - completely on my own. This never ever happens.
This is beacause
a - I am getting divorced and the ex mrauntiegwen is becoming mightily sniffy about my "extravagant lifestyle" yep, he actually did say that. Best not to pop off to Amsterdam this weekend then.
b - due to my own goldfish memory and the fact I am stupidly busy at work, I remembered on the 1st of October that my road tax runs out on the 30th September. So instead of walking to the post office and buying a disc, I thought "oh before I forget, I'll do it online, it'll be quicker"
DOH
completely forgetting it would have to be posted to me and now I can't feckin drive till it arrives.
c - and I am as cross as a bag of cats because this is the first time on 2 months on a Saturday night I will have no children and could get up to mischief.
oh yes it's a glum auntiegwen this weekend.
a - in Amsterdam at a bloggy meet up seeing The Bitch who is Dutch and Penelope.
b - In Cambridge with an ex who is being very flirty.
c - Visiting another friend who lives far ish away for a weekend of gossip, giggling and wine.
This weekend I will be
a - having a 2 for 1 pub meal with my friend Eileen tonight, still nice but not quite Amsterdam.
b - unable to visit anyone unless they live within walking distance or on bus or train routes.
c - completely on my own. This never ever happens.
This is beacause
a - I am getting divorced and the ex mrauntiegwen is becoming mightily sniffy about my "extravagant lifestyle" yep, he actually did say that. Best not to pop off to Amsterdam this weekend then.
b - due to my own goldfish memory and the fact I am stupidly busy at work, I remembered on the 1st of October that my road tax runs out on the 30th September. So instead of walking to the post office and buying a disc, I thought "oh before I forget, I'll do it online, it'll be quicker"
DOH
completely forgetting it would have to be posted to me and now I can't feckin drive till it arrives.
c - and I am as cross as a bag of cats because this is the first time on 2 months on a Saturday night I will have no children and could get up to mischief.
oh yes it's a glum auntiegwen this weekend.
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
You know you're not as young as you used to be...
When a beer at your last gig cost more than your first gig and that included chips and your bus fare home.
When you decide that you'd actually rather stay home in your jammies than go out on a collegues leaving do. On a Friday night too. In town. With bars. And the possibility of flirting, red wine and sneaky smokes. I was asleep by 9.30pm.
When you remembered that November 5th 1984 was the day you became a student nurse. And then you realised that was TWENTYFECKINFIVE years ago. Twenty five, Christ that shook me.
When you know the words to the song on the radio from the first time round original version. And you prefer it.
Maybe this next bit is for the girls? If you're a male reader come back another day, click away now, nothing to see here.
When you make a show of yourself in Next by laughing (and I mean I've had 3 kids and my pelvic floor's not as it was laughing) at the floral leggings. You realise that even bad fashion comes back around. I sent a picture message of them to my friend Lou in Edinburgh, she replied by email and sent a pic of us in maternity T shirts and floral leggings, how chic we looked.
When you prefer your fit-flops to your peerie heels. Okay, my head is hung very low in shame, me the queen of shoe porn, I know.
When you can't wait to take your bra off and not for the reason that you used to throw it off with gay abandon.
When you decide that being single is an actual benefit as you no longer have to upkeep your Hollywood.
When you decide that you'd actually rather stay home in your jammies than go out on a collegues leaving do. On a Friday night too. In town. With bars. And the possibility of flirting, red wine and sneaky smokes. I was asleep by 9.30pm.
When you remembered that November 5th 1984 was the day you became a student nurse. And then you realised that was TWENTYFECKINFIVE years ago. Twenty five, Christ that shook me.
When you know the words to the song on the radio from the first time round original version. And you prefer it.
Maybe this next bit is for the girls? If you're a male reader come back another day, click away now, nothing to see here.
When you make a show of yourself in Next by laughing (and I mean I've had 3 kids and my pelvic floor's not as it was laughing) at the floral leggings. You realise that even bad fashion comes back around. I sent a picture message of them to my friend Lou in Edinburgh, she replied by email and sent a pic of us in maternity T shirts and floral leggings, how chic we looked.
When you prefer your fit-flops to your peerie heels. Okay, my head is hung very low in shame, me the queen of shoe porn, I know.
When you can't wait to take your bra off and not for the reason that you used to throw it off with gay abandon.
When you decide that being single is an actual benefit as you no longer have to upkeep your Hollywood.
Friday, 25 September 2009
7 Best Gigs
I was given a really lovely "I heart your blog award" from the really lovely Really Rachel Unfortunately I can't show it as it says that my image is corrupt and yes, that is the first time anyone's ever used that phrase about me.
The award comes with a meme of 7 things. There have been 7 things missed about the UK - erm I'm still here, 7 personality traits - well you've heard them all before, everybody knows how weird I am, 7 songs on your ipod and Rachel gave us 7 long lost songs.
So I have to find a 7 for you. Without further ado, may I present my...
7 Best Gigs
The Stranglers - Glasgow Apollo 23rd November 1981 - my first gig and it has to be there because of that. It cost £3.50 and I earned the money from babysitting. I went with my first boyfriend who was called Alan Osprey, nickname Ospur, he was tall, dark hair, blue eyes and looked like Robin Cousins. Oh how I loved him. I wore a black shirt belonging to him, his leather bikers jacket, a black pvc rara skirt, fishnet tights and Dr Martin boots. My hair was severely backcombed and hairsprayed into a Siouxsie spike and I had lashings of black eye liner and also the black lippy and nail polish, yes my mother was very proud. I can't remember who supported them but was overgiddy with delight to be there, Ospur and I had chips afterwards and snogged all the way home on the bus. Bliss.
Simple Minds- Meadowbank 12th August 1989 - my 23rd birthday, I went with a big crowd of friends and as we walked along the London Road from where our flat was in Easter Road, we were passed by Jim Kerr and the band in a black limo as they travelled to the gig after being at the Hibernian ground. I loved Simple Minds and I got lifted onto the shoulders of the aptly named Big Rab (he's 6 foot 7) for a fair bit of it so had a good view. Only time I've ever been able to walk home after a gig, we had a party at our flat afterwards as well.
Runrig- Loch Lomond 22nd June 1991 - a beautiful day in a beautiful setting. Supported by The Big Dish and The Hothouse Flowers and others. Listening to the HF singing "I can see clearly" whilst looking down over the loch with the sun glinting on it is a fantastic memory. And to hear the 50,000 strong crowd join in with "Loch Lomond" for their final song and all the fireworks afterwards was an unmissable experience.
Texas- Nottingham 10th October 2005 - because it's the only time I've ever heard her sing live. She was out of this world, the finest voice of all time. Sad she didn't sing my favourite but her version of the Scissors Sisters "Take your Mama" was the highlight of a set that didn't have a duff note in it. She is unsurpassed.
The Killers- Dublin 21st August 2008 - my very favourite gig of all time. I love this band, the Beautiful Eldest Daughter and I had a fantastic time at Marlay Park, their first song that night was "For Reasons Unknown" which is the song I most identify with, my own personal theme tune and I would have paid all the money it took to get there just to hear that 1 song. They were utterly brilliant. We went back to see them in Belfast 6 months later and if anything the set was better but the atmosphere in Marlay Park couldn't be bettered so this gig wins.
Primal Scream- Nottingham 27th November 2008 - because it's the only gig I have ever missed most of. We arrived during "Rocks" which was the final song but we did get the 4 song encore and that was worth it. I would love to go see them again for the full gig. One of the funniest nights I've had in years.
Manic Street Preachers- Camden 29th May 2009 - fabulous gig, NB and I got really near the front, the band were great - I'd almost forgotten how good they were and how much I liked them, there was a fight right beside me and a drunken Irishman leaped a tube barrier on the way home to tell me I was beautiful. All in a day's work.
So there you have it, my 7 best gigs. Please feel to take the "I love your blog" bling off someones elses non corrupt image and have a go with your 7. You all know your auntie loves you.
Sunday, 20 September 2009
White Lies
Nice photo, isn't it ? It was taken by NB my gig buddy at the Coldplay tour finale yesterday . Himself, The Boy (his son), Eldest Beautiful Daughter and I went to Wembley to see Coldplay.
We had to arrive early as we all wanted to see White Lies and they were the first band on, they were fab and we all agreed that we would have happily paid the £40 ticket price for their 40 minute set.
Next up were Girls Aloud and I had no notion that a band could be so truly dreadful, we lasted 1 and a half songs before leaving our seats in search of sanctuary, well sanctuary and chips. They sounded atrocious, the ginger one had forgotten to take her rollers out and as EBD said even their dancing was out of tune.
We could not be enticed back in by Jay Z who I'm sure was grand if you like that sort of thing or should I say ting or am I taking that too far ?
Well, I'll be the first to admit it that I'm not a massive Coldplay fan, I can see why people like them and all that but I've never bought any of their stuff. They put on a very good show. Here's my likey and no likey bit...
Me Likey
The fireworks and lit up world balloony type things around the stadium (I know, NME are gutted I don't write for them)
The fact that Mr Paltrow forgot some words and lost his place a few times also the few bum piano notes.
The atmosphere and the company I was in.
NB's dad dancing - tres tres amusant.
Their drummer was very good, I hadn't appreciated that before.
There was very little musical wanking (Turin Brakes did a ferocious amount of that last week) this is always good in my opinion.
Coldplay were on stage for just short of 2 hours.
Me no likey
The X factor bit, Simon Cowell spliced in on a big screen saying we were fabulous, Mr Paltrow and his 70,000 strong choir auditioning for the X factor was just a wee bit silly for me.
Their Billie Jean rendition but I didn't like the original either.
You couldn't buy chips on their own, c'mon.
Beer was £4 a flat pint.
So by musical maths it was a good gig as I had more me likeys than me no likeys.
Friday, 18 September 2009
What I did this week.
I got into my beautiful car, drove lots, mostly in the wrong direction and very badly. I did find myself going from Essex to home via Cambridge at 3am on Monday morning, this is not usual or right, it made my friend laugh and this was not kind, hang your head in shame, you know who you are.
I went away on a course to Sheffield. I came back.
In between I stayed in a youth hostelly type of a place.
The food was strange, proper strange, I was served mushroom risotto (which was a lie, a big lie) with a side order of cabbage (yes, truly) which I believe was cooked by my dead granny in 1973.
The cell was freezing and the tiny bed squeaked.
I learned shit loads of stuff, mainly about how much work I will have to do to get my dept through a QA audit, I am knitting with smoke at the moment.
I made a new friend called Sam, me likey Sam muchly, she was subversive too and I would have liked her even if she wasn't Irish.
They did have wireless, not in my cell but in the main training room, I could not get onto blogger as it was a banned site, this made me sad. On the plus side, the trainers thought I was very conscientious and was working as opposed to skiving about trying to get on blogger and emailing friends.
I was missed by my children most muchly.
Now I am back, what have you been up to ?
I went away on a course to Sheffield. I came back.
In between I stayed in a youth hostelly type of a place.
The food was strange, proper strange, I was served mushroom risotto (which was a lie, a big lie) with a side order of cabbage (yes, truly) which I believe was cooked by my dead granny in 1973.
The cell was freezing and the tiny bed squeaked.
I learned shit loads of stuff, mainly about how much work I will have to do to get my dept through a QA audit, I am knitting with smoke at the moment.
I made a new friend called Sam, me likey Sam muchly, she was subversive too and I would have liked her even if she wasn't Irish.
They did have wireless, not in my cell but in the main training room, I could not get onto blogger as it was a banned site, this made me sad. On the plus side, the trainers thought I was very conscientious and was working as opposed to skiving about trying to get on blogger and emailing friends.
I was missed by my children most muchly.
Now I am back, what have you been up to ?
Monday, 14 September 2009
What to do in Sheffield?
By the time you read this I will be on a residential training course with my new job.
So from Monday to Thursday I will be up North.
In Sheffield at a place that sounds like the whirley I peg my washing out on.
I've been to Sheffield twice before, once to the Plug to see Glasvegas and another time to a fancy wine bar and restaurant that I can't bloody remember the name of! What is wrong with my memory?
So, suggestions on a postcard please, what can your auntie get up to up north?
Please feel free to text, email, comment etc, see you when I get back.
So from Monday to Thursday I will be up North.
In Sheffield at a place that sounds like the whirley I peg my washing out on.
I've been to Sheffield twice before, once to the Plug to see Glasvegas and another time to a fancy wine bar and restaurant that I can't bloody remember the name of! What is wrong with my memory?
So, suggestions on a postcard please, what can your auntie get up to up north?
Please feel free to text, email, comment etc, see you when I get back.
Friday, 11 September 2009
Totally ready for real life
Scene 1
A mother's bedroom, around 8am, enter stage left a 17 year old child dressed in a bath towel and socks.
17 year old child/EBD - (in a ranty type of a voice) "Whose bloody idea was it to have mornings so feckin early?, what kind of a stupid idea was that?"
Mummy/auntiegwen - (in a soothing kind of a voice) "Aawh sweetie scone, you're not a morning person are you?"
17 year old child/EBD - (still in the ranty voice) "I don't like this game. I can't find my hair brush, my coco pops are too milky and my tea's too hot and I have lessons ALL day"
Mummy/auntiegwen - (still in the soothy voice) " Life's a bitch right enough" actually the tone had progressed to sarcastic then.
Scene 2
A 17 year old child's bedroom around 5.30pm. Child lying on bed wearing fleecy polka dot jammie bottoms, socks (of course) and a t shirt (child had put on jammies on return from school to have afternoon nap as needed to help function as part human but spilled yoghurt down jammie top and had to put t shirt worn to school back on) Enter Mummy stage right, on return from work.
EBD - "What kind of things do I have to do to live on my own at uni?"
AG - "Laundry, ironing, cooking NOT tinned alphabetti spaghetti or toast, shopping NOT for shoes and lip gloss, paying bills, gas, electric, phone, broadband, council tax, water, road tax, insurance, house, car and life, cleaning INCLUDING toilets, dust, hoover, polish, mop, wash dishes, getting to where you need to be BY YOUR OWN SELF, remembering things, buying things before you run out etc etc etc
EBD - "Well, I'm not going to grow up then. I've only looked at real life on the internet and it scares me. I'll just stay here and go to uni like it's school and nothing has to change "
EBD - " Look Mummy, I made a new game..." Child then makes a dinosaur with her fingers, walks it around and makes eating noises with it "num num num" "Look Mummy, I made a Larasaur" and giggles uncontrollably for a bit.
Yep, totally ready to leave home and function independently, totally.
A mother's bedroom, around 8am, enter stage left a 17 year old child dressed in a bath towel and socks.
17 year old child/EBD - (in a ranty type of a voice) "Whose bloody idea was it to have mornings so feckin early?, what kind of a stupid idea was that?"
Mummy/auntiegwen - (in a soothing kind of a voice) "Aawh sweetie scone, you're not a morning person are you?"
17 year old child/EBD - (still in the ranty voice) "I don't like this game. I can't find my hair brush, my coco pops are too milky and my tea's too hot and I have lessons ALL day"
Mummy/auntiegwen - (still in the soothy voice) " Life's a bitch right enough" actually the tone had progressed to sarcastic then.
Scene 2
A 17 year old child's bedroom around 5.30pm. Child lying on bed wearing fleecy polka dot jammie bottoms, socks (of course) and a t shirt (child had put on jammies on return from school to have afternoon nap as needed to help function as part human but spilled yoghurt down jammie top and had to put t shirt worn to school back on) Enter Mummy stage right, on return from work.
EBD - "What kind of things do I have to do to live on my own at uni?"
AG - "Laundry, ironing, cooking NOT tinned alphabetti spaghetti or toast, shopping NOT for shoes and lip gloss, paying bills, gas, electric, phone, broadband, council tax, water, road tax, insurance, house, car and life, cleaning INCLUDING toilets, dust, hoover, polish, mop, wash dishes, getting to where you need to be BY YOUR OWN SELF, remembering things, buying things before you run out etc etc etc
EBD - "Well, I'm not going to grow up then. I've only looked at real life on the internet and it scares me. I'll just stay here and go to uni like it's school and nothing has to change "
EBD - " Look Mummy, I made a new game..." Child then makes a dinosaur with her fingers, walks it around and makes eating noises with it "num num num" "Look Mummy, I made a Larasaur" and giggles uncontrollably for a bit.
Yep, totally ready to leave home and function independently, totally.
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
And I don't care.
I'm just going to say it.
You might not like it.
You might feel inclined to berate me or try to change my mind. Feel free (except you, Edge, you can be surprisingly persistent)
But I don't care
I don't like The Beatles and if I never have to listen to another one of their songs again, so much the better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You might not like it.
You might feel inclined to berate me or try to change my mind. Feel free (except you, Edge, you can be surprisingly persistent)
But I don't care
I don't like The Beatles and if I never have to listen to another one of their songs again, so much the better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Monday, 7 September 2009
Musings from me
Hello my little bloggy chums, how are you?
Myself and the beautiful children are well. Thank you for asking.
Eldest Beautiful Daughter is getting ready for her beloved Matthew (chief matey boy of about 2 years) to go off to uni, this is a teeny tiny bit tense for all those who live/visit chez auntiegwen. Can you imagine how it will be in 2 weeks whan he actually goes? No, I don't want to either.
The Beautiful Son has had his annual haircut, he tried to articulate what he wanted to the barber who ignored him and took his cash. It's not pretty, it looks like he needs a carer, I'm hoping he'll grow into it.
Beautiful Baby Daughter tidied her bedroom, proper tidy, Kim and Aggie tidy, but you probably knew that as it was on the 10 o'clock news.
School has returned but without me, the son has joined elder daughter at high school (we have a 3 school system so they change at 14 when they start GCSE coursework) so that leaves only the baby at middle school.
I love, love, love my new job. It's hard, it's challenging and I am busy like you wouldn't believe but I can see that I am actually making a difference and I am thriving on the challenge.
My facebook thingy is still bemusing me, do I want to be my friend Susan's friend Janice's neighbour on the farm? I think not, I killed the begonia my friend Ell bought me for my birthday (in 3 days) I begged her not to buy me a live thing, I can only manage children, all my plants die. I also can't work out how to send gifts back to people and then they might think I don't love them, I do I'm just crap at technology. I have shed loads of teenagers befriending me and I can't say no. And despite my very good friend's plea for a boyfriend for me, not one of her mates stepped up ??? Pourquoi, I ask myself. So after a few weeks I'm bored of it.
I've got masses of nights out planned, some gigs, some dinners and been invited to a bloggy meet up in Amsterdam.
So a very busy but very contented auntie at present. Normal middle aged Pollyanna service has resumed. And thank God for that.
Myself and the beautiful children are well. Thank you for asking.
Eldest Beautiful Daughter is getting ready for her beloved Matthew (chief matey boy of about 2 years) to go off to uni, this is a teeny tiny bit tense for all those who live/visit chez auntiegwen. Can you imagine how it will be in 2 weeks whan he actually goes? No, I don't want to either.
The Beautiful Son has had his annual haircut, he tried to articulate what he wanted to the barber who ignored him and took his cash. It's not pretty, it looks like he needs a carer, I'm hoping he'll grow into it.
Beautiful Baby Daughter tidied her bedroom, proper tidy, Kim and Aggie tidy, but you probably knew that as it was on the 10 o'clock news.
School has returned but without me, the son has joined elder daughter at high school (we have a 3 school system so they change at 14 when they start GCSE coursework) so that leaves only the baby at middle school.
I love, love, love my new job. It's hard, it's challenging and I am busy like you wouldn't believe but I can see that I am actually making a difference and I am thriving on the challenge.
My facebook thingy is still bemusing me, do I want to be my friend Susan's friend Janice's neighbour on the farm? I think not, I killed the begonia my friend Ell bought me for my birthday (in 3 days) I begged her not to buy me a live thing, I can only manage children, all my plants die. I also can't work out how to send gifts back to people and then they might think I don't love them, I do I'm just crap at technology. I have shed loads of teenagers befriending me and I can't say no. And despite my very good friend's plea for a boyfriend for me, not one of her mates stepped up ??? Pourquoi, I ask myself. So after a few weeks I'm bored of it.
I've got masses of nights out planned, some gigs, some dinners and been invited to a bloggy meet up in Amsterdam.
So a very busy but very contented auntie at present. Normal middle aged Pollyanna service has resumed. And thank God for that.
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Welcome
A huge thank you to all friends who commented, texted, emailed, called and visited me over the last week. I appreciate all your input, kind words and advice muchly.
I've pondered on this and thought it round and around and I've come to the conclusion that I really don't mind who reads what I write.
There's not really that much salacious stuff in here, the sex blog I write has had every gasp, groan and grunt in it, so no need to upset Grandma in Cyprus with that here. I jest, I jest.
And as much as I felt I didn't want Gordon to know what I was thinking, I now realise that I'm not that bothered, he's not involved in my life, I'm not interested in his, all that's left is indifference really.
So welcome to you all, the people who comment, the people who don't, the people who know me and those whom I've yet to meet. You are truly welcome to my little corner of blogland.
With love from
Wendy aka auntiegwen
x
I've pondered on this and thought it round and around and I've come to the conclusion that I really don't mind who reads what I write.
There's not really that much salacious stuff in here, the sex blog I write has had every gasp, groan and grunt in it, so no need to upset Grandma in Cyprus with that here. I jest, I jest.
And as much as I felt I didn't want Gordon to know what I was thinking, I now realise that I'm not that bothered, he's not involved in my life, I'm not interested in his, all that's left is indifference really.
So welcome to you all, the people who comment, the people who don't, the people who know me and those whom I've yet to meet. You are truly welcome to my little corner of blogland.
With love from
Wendy aka auntiegwen
x
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