Tuesday 20 May 2014


 I have always had a fairly minimal house, perhaps because my family home  is so full you can only move  sideways in it and they think a surface without stuff and a wall without pictures is a complete waste of space. If you want to see what the Palace of Versailles would look like in a very ordinary Glasgow maisonette (or 4 in a block if you're one of us chosen people), you want to visit my mum & dad.
However in my middle years...
I find myself buying heart shaped things, all the feckin time, there can't be a room in my house without a heart shaped thing in it. To expand this hobby I have taken to buying heart shaped things for the villa, so not only am I imposing my lack of imagination on my nearest and dearest, I have now inflicted it on the good paying public who rent from me. Yesterday I spectacularly bought heart shaped things, in total, 3 pictures with hearts on, 2 cushions with hearts on, 1 metal hanging heart made with tiny bells ( I know), and no less than 8 hanging wicker hearts. I also bought bunting ala Kirsty Allsop but that's  a whole other story.

I have taken the buying of small bowls to an extreme art form also. We have a surfeit of small bowls, some are also heart shaped but it's not compulsory. I like bowls, I am particularly attracted to wee bowls. When you have crisps or nuts or snacky thinks it's so much nicer to have them from an attractive bowl.

Candles are also a particular passion, at present in my lounge, I have 25, some arranged in groups, some in bowls (you see, there is another purpose for a wee bowl) we have candles everywhere, inside and out. My husband who monitors our heating on a fancy graph, some Tado thingy that self regulates our heating so you don't have a timer any more (don't mock, Christ he needs something to occupy his mind, living with me) he can tell from his fancy graph when I have lit candles as the temperature increases. I am less impressed with the new fancy thing, I don't have the control thingy, he has one on his phone, if I get cold I have to light candles and put a cardie on or ring and ask him to switch the heating on. Still I have stuff and he has gadgets.

My house is filling up pretty quickly and my ever patient husband has learned not to ask what things are for, he just admires the heart shapes/wee bowls & candles and checks he is still a bloke, living in such a full house.

I am off to the beautiful house for a week, I am taking my husband, my stepson, my parents and several heart shaped things, some bowls and more candles with me. I will buy gin from the duty free and imbibe hourly from 11 to 11 as the combination of my mother telling me the same thing over and over and the boy wonder showing me how he jumps into the pool over and over will most certainly require a more relaxed (aka drunk) auntie to cope!!!

My starter for 10 was yesterday when I was chatting to my mum on the phone, she arrives tonight and I had said how nice it would be to see her. She replied that she was also looking forward to seeing me and then added "and your husband" As I am a very polite auntie, I said " Andrew is looking forward to seeing you too" She closed the conversation with, "Well, I don't know about that but I am looking forward to seeing your husband"

See you in June


libby said...

Sweet little baby cheesus AG...how good are you to be taking the ma and pa away like that? and what is the kirsty allsop bunting for?? ....and we have to make a date to get together....I was playing the killers in the car on the way home tonight and thought of you....well I also thought of how gorgeous Mr Brandon Flowers was.....have fun and lots of gin.....xxxxxx

Andy said...

If my nuts do eventually fall off from prolonged exposure to heart-shaped-things-that-I-don't-understand, at least I'll have some pleasant bowls to keep them in.

auntiegwen said...

Libs - I know, I should get a good daughter medal too :) the bunting is for the bedroom at the villa with the cream bed & furniture, it already has a duck egg blue East of India wooden heart, the bunting is to drapes roun aboot in a shabby chic type fashion , yes please to meeting up xxx

Andrew- I shall buy one specifically for that purpose :)

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I have candles; but I forget to light them! Bowls? One, decorated by my special daughter, so pink obviously :) She would be very partial to your heart-shaped ones - she finds our home a bit drab, as I tend to remove anything that requires dusting :)

Enjoy the gin and the break xx

London City (mum) said...

Sending love - have a well-deserved (and slightly inebriated) break!


Expat mum said...

I'm still trying to figure out what she meant my "Your husband"?

auntiegwen said...

LFBS - ooh she'd love my house, full of heart shaped stuff then :)

LCM - indeed, she arrives yesterday and today I'm already exhausted

EM - she doesn't remember that my husband's name is Andrew, when I speak about him she'll ask "who is Andrew?" and I say "my husband" and she's say "are you sure that's his name?"

Jay said...

I was laughing at the list of heart shaped things until I realised I have most of them in my house - including the wire one made of little bells!
Have a great trip away, enjoy the gin!

Mrs Worthington said...

Gin - check, candles - check, wee bowls -check, heart shaped things - I can resist those. Coffee mugs and wine glasses seem to be my weakness and things I don't need for kitchen and garden. Enjoy your holiday and I will raise a heart shaped glass for you

AGuidingLife said...

Can't be doing with candles. My OH has bought me them year after year. I hide them in teh shed, dispose of them, send them to thecharity shop and still he buys more, it's a drip wax torture. Bunting?! For the love of god!! I wondered who bought bunting besides homelife photographers. but then I don't have space for cute bowls and candles becuase my surfaces seem to be covered in paper work and guiding crap. I hate clutter, clutter loves me!!! Do you have a holiday planned for when you get back from holiday? You should! Good luck xxx

Nota Bene said...

Only one bottle of gin?

Helena said...

One really can't get enough hearty-farty-arty stuff strewn around the place - and hiding behind doors!

auntiegwen said...

Jay - a woman of good taste, like myself, clearly

Mrs W - I have a thing about glasses too, currently looking at chunky champagne flutes, £6 each at The White Company, come on, join me on the dark side

K - you should give all your unwanted candles to me, the place where all good candles come to burn

NB - we had more than 1

Lena - oh my gaff is full of them, choc fu:)