Wednesday 29 October 2008

10 Things I don't Understand

I don't think I'm a stupid person, I occasionally have moments of vacuousness but overall I am a functioning human. However, there are lots of little things I don't understand, maybe it's because I am turning onto a grumpy old woman with the luxury of a blog which allows me to spout off. I will focus on these little musings as I have real big grown up important scary stuff going on at present and in true auntiegwen style I am avoiding dealing with that and faffing around this kind of stuff instead.

Why my lip gloss becomes less of a threat to national security when , at airports, it is enclosed in a clear plastic bag.

Why my sister at the age of thirtyfeckinseven still has to have my mum take her to the dentist, I kid you not

Why people wear crocs, they must be the ugliest shoes ever, my kids call them shoes of the devil

Why I can't understand the Clyde tunnel, there is no feckin water anywhere nearby (save your breath, Edge, you've tried and failed before, unless you take me up in a helicopter and show me, I cannot understand how the tunnel goes underneath the river, when I can't see water anyfeckinwhere)

Why my eldest beautiful daughter cannot bear to look at naked feet, we all have to cover our tootsies up, this is a real pain on holiday

Why people start their Christmas shopping before December 1st, my sister starts on Boxing day in the sales which means you can never return things, Christmas should be a one month only thing, in December

Why it dements me when my children and my students leave everything to the last minute and yet I am exactly the same, you'd think I'd understand

Why people queue for ages and then when their turn comes suddenly realise that they need to pay or show their passport and then rummage about their person looking frantically for the required item, get feckin ready, why don't you ?

Why grown ups (usually men) play on x boxes and play stations and wii's, they're for children, they're called toys. We have stuff of our own to amuse us.

Why the Sainsbury's lady thinks I can bring with me enough plastic bags to do my whole weekly shop, she makes me feel like a Nazi when I produce 3 or 4 bags for life and can't fit all my shopping in them still have to have some free orange ones

Sunday 26 October 2008

Well, that was the quickest week of the year !

Why do your holidays go so fast ? I'm back now from my week in the sun and it's feckin freezing here! We had a brilliant time. We didn't do much, just relaxed really, I did some AS level marking and EBD wrote some essays but mainly we just enjoyed not being at school. We were extremely lucky as the weather was gorgeous, around 25 every day but on Wednesday we did have a cloud for about 10 minutes, so I suffered too !
Our week contained lots of sunbathing (that would be me, my kids don't like to sunbathe, if I hadn't given birth to them, I'd seriously doubt they were mine)
Lots of swimming (that would be them, I didn't even go in the pool)
We visited the farmers market as we always do, and bought our stash of fruit and our yummy cashew, pistachio and honey and sesame peanuts as is our want.
We went out to eat a lot ! That will be why there are no photos of the sunbathing, I fear the world is not ready for my fatness in a bikini, but if I'm in my own garden I will happily inflict no end of nakedness on my poor children in my attempt at an all over tan.
We also spent lots of time with our beautiful friends who live next door to us in Turkey, the can't live without them, Keith and Heather, who have retired and are living their dream in the sunshine. They are a real inspiration to me, this is an uber happy second relationship for them and they just enjoy being, they've a real zest for life, game to try anything, myself and the kids love them to bits and not just for the treats and the rides on their quad bike !

On Beautiful baby Daughter's birthday, our lovely friends Keith and Heather treated BBD to a portrait after dinner and my little poser just loved it !

We also went go karting, my children scared the bejaysus outta me, they go really, really, fast. I, myself am a very careful and considerate, stick to the speed limit kinda gal.

Eldest beautiful Daughter couldn't understand my reluctance to let her drive my car when she turns 17 in March !

Please brace yourself for several gratuitous shots of my family, I just can't help myself, they're just too beautiful.

We just spent time together and they had a week of full fat Mummying without the distractions of school, marking, lesson prep, mates, myspace and ok I admit, blogging to get in the way. That was special, I know there won't be that many holidays left with all three of them. I do hope that the villa can be passed on and that they bring their own children there and recreate the lovely low key, relaxing, laughter packed holidays that I am fortunate enough to have with them.

I pretty much adore everything about my villa and my holidays there but for me one of THE best bits about it is this...
Every day around 6.30pm I have pink o'clock and as the beautiful children were getting showered I sat on the terrace, had a glass of the pink stuff and my cashew nuts in my special wee bowl (anal, who me ?) and watched the beautiful sunset over Babadag mountain, shown above and pink o'clock, shown below.

Thursday 16 October 2008


Tomorrow The Beautiful Children and I will be going here for half term, I am so looking forward to this.

Every morning we will be waking up to this.

And whilst we are there we have yet another thing to celebrate, I know it doesn't get much better than this !

On Monday my Beautiful Baby Daughter will be 12. I used to sing to her when she was a baby, this is her song...

Wee Tootsie Moppet
Mummies wee poppet
Daddies darling baby girl
You're the best thing in the world.

It doesn't seem like 12 years ago and yet when she's sleeping I really can see the baby version of her. She was the cutest little thing and the most articulate of them all, no matter what she puts her mind to, she'll do it. I would not be surprised to see her running the country one day. My little sweetie scone is not much smaller than me now but she still is and always will be my baby. She looks so much older this year, it's been the one I've seen the most difference in. She has the most glorious mop of titian hair and I am struggling to persuade her to keep it long, I would put ribbons in it, she just rolls her eyes at me. She now has very strong opinions on what she wants to wear and I know I have to let her grow up but she is very probably my last baby and I'd like to keep her that way as long as I can.She has an answer for everything and she can never admit that she's wrong, I don't know wher she gets that from!!! She has the most infectuous laugh and you can't help but join in. She could start a fight in an empty house but still is the most caring of wee souls. She is so enthusiatic and really goes for it, and despite the regular trumpet practice,I love her so very much and I am very priviledged to be her Mummy. She is my heart, mo chridhe.

Monday 13 October 2008

10 things I cannot live without

My loved ones - my family and friends, you know who you are

Coffee - the bigger the better and if someone else makes it for me, nirvana

Music - in the car, on my ipod and best of all live, upcoming gigs include Glasvegas(again), Primal Scream and the Killers in Belfast, The Signals and The Valentines in ??? I think it's near Linlithgow, maybe Falkirk, I better find out soon and apparently Mr 2 Sox himself is taking me to see The View, any other blogmates want me to accompany them anywhere, just ask away, don't be shy now.

Books - I love reading and always have done, I average about 2 books a week but on holiday will easily read a book a day. Yes, they are proper books, without pictures, grown up ones, the fatter the better.

Blogger - for somone who is as technophobic as me it is relatively easy to do, I love my blog, I love your blogs and I would be so much the poorer if you weren't in my life, thank you for joining me and thank you for letting me share your lives too.

Running - I hate it but I love it, I get so fed up because I don't run in the winter much due to my general wussiness and the fact I won't run in rain, cold or the dark but when I do get on with it, I love the space it makes in my head. Ok and the fact it allows me to eat and still fit into my jeans.

Holidays - God they're good, aren't they ? Throw in some sunshine and you've got me, I will happily go anywhere, I just love new places, revisting places and just not being at home.

Texting - this makes me disproportionately happy, I text all the time, like a teenager. I don't bother with capitals and punctuation much. I adore getting them back too, and if you reply fairly quickly my wee cup of happiness runneth over.

Wine - I like red, rose and fizzy. I now know I can only do 2 or 3 glasses max, it's good to have learned your limits at the early age of 42, I feel.

Kissing - the more the better, I feel I don't get enough of this. I will happily smooch till my lips are frayed at the edges. I want to practice this till I get to Olympic standard.

Thursday 9 October 2008

10 Things I really, really have to do in the next week

Tomorrow I have to get on t'internet and book tickets to see The Killers. They're touring and I have a notion to go and see them in Belfast. I love Belfast and apparently it's very what trendy now.

I really can't put that feckin tax return off any longer.

Ditto the Rarpa file ( very boring paperwork for Ofsted which is now 3 months late)

Pay my M&S credit card bill of £952.12, due tomorrow.

Mark 15 essays for my AS level students.

Get out of going speed dating with my friend Melanie, I'm so not doing that, even though I do love her and want to support her, the line has been drawn.

Try and talk Beautiful Baby Daughter out of wanting a 12 foot trampoline for her forthcoming birthday, it will eat my garden and I'll have nowhere to put my whirly.

On Tuesday go to a tutor development meeting for my adult ed job at the same time as my book group meeting which is held in the pub, oh, I wonder which one I prefer ?

On Thursday be a prospective parent looking round my school with The Beautiful Son at open evening whilst simultaneously being in my classroom as a teacher talking to prospective parents at open evening

Get on a plane and head off to the sunshine.

Wednesday 8 October 2008

10 Things I really, really want

I've sat here for ages trying to write this. The things I think would make my life sooooo much more pleasurable. Lots of wasted time, umming and aahing, what do I come up with ?

Straight teeth, perkier bosoms and a psychology degree.

There were other little minor things, a Prada handbag, a Tiffany pendant that I am coveting with covety covetousness, a weekend away with a hot man and my tax return to be miraculously done, if the hot man can do that while I am luxuriating in the bath in the posh hotel room so much the better!

Dare I say this ? Could this possibly mean that Pollyanna is actually quite contented with her lot ? Am I happy ?

Monday 6 October 2008

I've lost it

I got my copy of our corporate plan (no, I don't know why schools have such a thing either but I've found it best to just keep quiet) So, I'm reading my department's section, I'm not too fussed about the other lots, just my bit. I read about what our plan was for last year and how we acheived it and it all sounded very what splendid.

I read about how we had appointed AG as a Subject Specialist and that this extra cost was justified as we had a complete 100% pass at A level etc blah blah blah. I momentarily wondered why I'd never met our subject specialist and mused over how strange it was that we had the same initials...

Yep, it's official, my brain has retired.

Saturday 4 October 2008

The Beautiful Son

The Beautiful Son talked at me for a bit yesterday. This is extremely unusual as he is not generally given to conversation, what with him being a teenage boy and all and he remains, despite my best efforts, a complete alpha male in training and totally not in touch with his feminine side. I spend a lot of time with him but we don't talk much, I like that, it's peaceful. His sisters would never sit in silence with me but he often does, I can be reading my book and he just either sits or lies beside me twirling a strand of my hair as he has done since he was a tiny baby.

The funniest part of this is because he is very quiet and he hardly ever converses like this, he does talk and stuff but he rarely expresses his opinions. The topic of this monologue was his forthcoming school council elections and he was so funny, he could have been on "Grumpy Old Men" It was quite ranty and there was't too much pause for breath. I think he used up a week's worth of conversation on this. I can't remember verbatim what he said but it was along the lines of.

AG - How was school today ?

TBS - I'm well pissed off

AG - Why ? ( very suprised at not receiving the customary grunt that tells me to shut the feck up )

TBS - You know the school elections ?

AG - Yeah ( but really means no as he hasn't mentioned them at all)

TBS - If you throw sweets into the crowd at the end of the vote for me bit, you get disqualified

AG - So ?

TBS - I managed to get into the 2nd row, right in the centre, prime postition, was bound to get plenty and then the fascists didn't let them chuck the sweets in

AG - non committal noises

TBS - I went into school early for that (in a disgruntled tone)

AG - Ah, give yourself peace,

TBS - And the school council never do anything

AG - If you don't step up to the plate don't moan about the others that do

TBS - Would you give YOURSELF peace, they only go to bloomin meetings, don't decide things and eat biscuits

AG - clamped as she knows that's exactly how most school meetings go.

So, not long in length but succinct and to the point.

Friday 3 October 2008

10 Places I Have Never Been

I do actually want to go to all of these places, in no particular order.


South Africa



The Maldives


Hong Kong



The Outer Hebrides

I'm not complaining mind, I've been very fortunate and have been to lots of fantastic places and there are many more that didn't make the 10. I've got another 10 that I've been to and would love to go back over and over again. I'm in a 10 frame of mind at the moment.

Wednesday 1 October 2008

10 Things I have Never Done

Had sex in a car (yes, even in that BMW at the weekend)

Taken any recreational drugs except cannabis

Been arrested or been given a caution

Been truly malicious or vindictive

Been unfaithful

Been tattooed (I did think about getting it done when I was 40 but my mother was horrified, so I didn't as I didn't want to upset my mammy)

Been actually at Murrayfield watching Scotland beat England and lift The Calcutta cup

Been in a hot air balloon

Swum with dolphins

Had a Prada handbag

So continuing on the last post's theme, I still am, pretty much a good girl and I can wear my Pollyanna badge with pride. Okay, I'll hold my hands up, for an ex punk, I've led a pretty tame life. But as my song says " If destiny's kind, I've got the rest of my life"

Time to get busy...