Wednesday 30 April 2008

Uh oh

Oh no, I've done it now. Your auntie who has been ultra scathing about team building games has got to facilitate such a team building day.

In the past I have been less than complimentary about the value of getting people to blow a jelly baby around a table with a straw. Now I've got to sort out a whole day of such stuff.

Help, please... What the feck will I do with them, for a whole day !!!!!!

Monday 28 April 2008

Glasvegas goes to Glastonbury

Just read the leaked list of who's appearing at this years Glastonbury. My new favourite band name ?


How good is that ? even if they were pants (and they're so not), they have the coolest name ever ! Ah, you can't keep a good Weegie down !! They're supporting Muse at Marlay Park in Dublin the week before I see The Killers there, ah I feel a week of partying in my mother's Mother Country coming on.....

ps for the foreign readers a Weegie, is a shortened form of Glaswegian, who is a native inhabitant of the glorious mad city that is Glasgow.

Wednesday 23 April 2008

It's Been a Hard Two Days

Please send your auntie some vitual love.I have had some trouble the last few days.

The pictures you can see are of The Beautiful House, it's our holiday villa/kid's inheritance/pension fund.
I had some guests arrive on Monday night but they had no hot water, there is a leak in the solar tank on the roof.
Here we go again, last year was a veritable merry go round of repairs, so I authorise the repair at the cost of 500 big ones. Then I get told there is no water in the pool, many many emails are flying between myself and the agents who are paid shed loads of money to deal with such issues as I am thousands of miles away. The agents say I did not tell them to fill the pool, I just told them to get the villa ready for the guests and collect them from the airport !!!! Silly me, why would the guests want the pool filled up ?

Then I find out that the venue I have been using for the last 6 years to run my parenting classes is cutting my slots by half and increasing my rent by £20 to £50 for a 2 hour slot.

Then I have to attend a meeting at 9 am this am, which means I have to get up early to fit in the run, I'm out the house by 7.25 to run, it's raining and me no likey the rain :( I get home, shower and change, drive to work, can't get a parking space, eventually get parked (creatively but miles away), walk in rain to meeting, am 15 minutes late, find meeting has been postponed, get back to car, still raining and find I have been stickered for my creative parking.

Then I have a nice bit where I find reasonably priced flights to the villa for half term, oh goody, kids will have to miss 1 day of school ( it's a Monday where I don't teach) then realise Eldest Beautiful Daughter has a Maths GCSE that day, now we can't go, as she can't be left home alone for 7 hours never mind 7 days.

Now I am going to reframe this in a positive way,

I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head never mind a holiday villa.

The hot water tank didn't damage any of the villa, it got fixed and guests were only without hot water for 1 day. The pool got filled immediately and I can offer to refund some of their money for the inconvenience. It's fixable.

I can just about afford the increase and today I looked at alternative venues that will be not quite so good but def cheaper.

Because I am at school anyway I decide to use the time effectively. I went into our staff office (for the very first time ever, and I've been working there since September) and I did loads of lesson prep with nice colour handouts and all kinds of stuff. My head of department came in and I had the 2nd conversation ever with them and it was really good. I've been promised more training and they gave me a desk, a drawer in the filing cabinet and told me to help myself to stationery, free board pens and post it notes, how good is that ?

I can go out to the villa in the summer, the exams will be over and we can just relax.

A few years ago, these kind of stresses would have reduced me to tears and I'd have lain awake at night worrying about them but after all that's happened since 2006 I've realised it's not good to sweat the small stuff. I really am much more able to see the positives in situations now. Pollyanna is definitely shitting herself

Monday 21 April 2008

Waiting for The Beautiful Happiness

I was bumping my gums last week about being boring and the " is this it? " type angst than I can be prone to. Now I know that I am the only one who can change the script so with that in mind I did do sumfin bout it.

In the last week

I did join a running club, yes I did, I did run 3 times, now don't I deserve a medal ? I met 2 really nice women and have felt very virtuous all week, including when I ate a Marathon bar, yes I know they're called Snickers now but I'm of an age.

I did go for drinks with a man, I did not like it, I thought I was being brave and getting out there and yes, I do trust my friend who arranged it, yes he was ok but I am not going to date just for the sake of it, and I do take your point that I am far too fussy and no one is perfect but there was no spark and I'm not going to waste his time and my lipgloss on it. Enough said.

I did go to a birthday party on Saturday night, I drank pink champagne and danced. I was chatted up by boys, what is wrong with me? boys under 25 and men over 60 love me, it's just the 40 something ones I struggle with. I was fairly seriously pursued by a 22 year old and even a 19 year old had a good crack at me. I've got tea towels older than that. I just wanted to give them career advice, I could no more flirt back with them than I could support the England rugby team.

I know I'll sound really judgemental but there were grown up women there who really were old enough to know better, it's a fine line between being youthful/game for a laugh and sad old slapperdom. On arrival a 50 something Grandma, bent over and lifted her dress up, flashing her thong, I generally just say hello, she also greeted the young lads there by rubbing their faces in her ample bosom, which just looked motherly as opposed to perky. She was trying to fit in with a much younger crowd, when I spoke to her later, she's had such a sad romantic history and seemed like a really nice person, she's just so scared of being on her own. When I left, she had teamed up with a cross hybrid of Rod Stewart and Peter Stringfellow who was definitely was of an age with her, they seemed happy enough.

My friend who is dating a really lovely guy (who wasn't there) spent a fair ammount of time face sucking and bum feeling someone 20 years her junior. This was despite a team talk in the ladies from me about how happy her relationship makes her. Now being fair I was the soberest one there and my friend was fairly drunk, she kept telling the 25 year old she couldn't give him babies, I kept thinking, he doesn't want a relationship, he just wants emptied, he tried it on with me when she went to the loo and on hearing my refusal asked me what the best way to "nail" my friend was. A real charmer, eh ? I absolutely made sure she went home with me, in the taxi I asked her why and she said she just wanted to keep her options open ?!? Should you be snogging strangers in tacky clubs when you're with someone ?

I spent the night feeling like I was a Wee Free Minister, I had the sour puss look off to perfection. Okay it's hardly Sodom and Gomorrah but it's just not my idea of fun and it's not what I want. I may be fussy and I may not get perfection but in my life I've been damn close to it and I am so not going to settle. One day I will have The Beautiful Happiness again.

Friday 18 April 2008

My Big Brave Boy

After school today I was in the conservatory talking to a student on the phone, see I am so nice my adult learners have my number and can ring me for help.

There was a really loud banging on the front door followed by someone coming in and yelling "Hello", I know this is one of the many matey boys who befriend the Eldest Beautiful Daughter but I'm busy so I ignore it, they come in, help themself to a biscuit, look for EBD, fail to find her and then leave.

About 15 minutes later I go upstairs to find The Beautiful Son, the door banging and shouting scared him so much, he's locked himself in the loo !!! He thought we were being burgled, so my bigger than me, rugby playing son just left me to fend for myself and locked himself away. Burgled, would you give yourself peace !!!

Big wuss

Monday 14 April 2008

Mixed Up Mummy

I am trying very very hard to be happy, sometimes that's easier said than done.I operate a policy of trying to find a positive in every situation. On the plus side in the last week the following good things appeared

The staff room at work got a cappucino machine, free cappucino's at work, how good is that ?!?!

Things I am trying to reframe to a more positive note

My life is extremely boring, I am heading towards middle age and I fear I am becoming very dull. Suggestions on a postcard please

Wednesday 9 April 2008

Welcome to my world

I just could not resist this. It has to be the funniest thing I've seen for ages. Much kudos to The Beautiful Son for finding this. You know the drill, just click on the wee thingy.

Tuesday 8 April 2008

The Killer's in Dublin


I love my readers, I really really love you

The Killers in Dublin, how good is that ?

I didn't even know that they were playing in Dublin, then God Bless Anonymous, I could kiss you.

I mean, Dublin, that's nearly as good as seeing them in The Mother Country.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you, one last little query, is there one site that's safer than another ? There are several that are selling tickets and I ve never bought from a ticket touty type thing before. Also is it worth spending an extra £15 per ticket on front standing or just go for general admission ?

The only little downer, the person I would like most to see them with won't be with me :(

So, I'm going to buy 2 tickets, would you like to come with me ? Please ? It'll be a birthday treat for me, go on, you know you want to....

Monday 7 April 2008

Mission (please be) possible ?

Now who loves their auntie ? I hardly ever ask you for anything, really I don't but this time I am imploring you to help me.

I desperately, desperately need to see The Killers, I want this more than ANYTHING in my life. (Even more than what I was moaning about on Friday, Edge, and I wanted that a lot !!!)They are playing only at the Reading and Leeds Festival 22nd to 24th August. They are playing Reading on the Sat and Leeds on the Sunday, I don't care which one, I would just love to see them. I tried really really hard to get tickets but didn't manage it. I just cannot afford to pay more than £100 for a day ticket and I need at least 2 but pref 3. I can't afford the ebay route.

I can do trades or swapsies, I could live with 1 kidney but I really need to keep all 3 of the beautiful children. I have a gorgeous holiday villa in Turkey that I could let you have rent free as a swapsie, I would even consider sexual favours if you're handsome and 41 year old women float your boat. I will do your laundry, clean your house, sleep train your baby or toddler tame your child, if it's legal I ll give it a go !!!

If you know of anyone who has a spare ticket ( I know it's unlikely but I've got to explore every possibility) please think of me and the Beautiful Eldest Daughter and The Beautiful Son. They are poor wee deprived emo's. So if you're one of the chosen few, don't take your partner, take me, I'll be entertaining, do all the driving (you might have to navigate though !), do anything you want me to do.

Oh okay, I promise not to sing.

Ps - in a shameless plea for sympathy, Beautiful Baby Daughter has just started learning the trumpet, she's very keen, practices a lot and it's very very loud. Go on feel sorry for me, take me to see the pretty Brandon Flowers. Make me happy.

Saturday 5 April 2008

No Sex in Suburbia

Well, can you believe it ? I am sat here ala Carrie from Sex and The City, writing this very post on my laptop on my bed !!! Yes I now have wireless all sorted, to be fair I had to buy a new pc to support this, but hey I now have the joy of being able to ramble on whilst sat around in my bra. Incidentally, why did she always do that? it's a wee bit chilly for your auntie but hey if it's good enough for Carrie...

What a gas job that Carrie's must be, just writing about how weird men are, I mean how easy is that ? Never let it be said that I am an unfair woman, I will say now that there are at least 3 men that I like and I'm only related to 2 of them !I know it's a cheap shot to snipe at them but fairly safe to , on this blog as I think it is an overwhelmingly female readership.

Off I go now to see Christina so we can have a real old pop at the poor wee scones and as always update our celebrity shag list, mine is pitiful at the mo so feel free to drop me some suggestions.

Just to whet your appetite, click on the nice wee thingybob and have a sneaky peek at the movie that I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to.

Want to come with me ?