Monday 23 March 2015

Whatever happened to the heroes

Mr auntiegwen and I have very little music we both like. This is due to the fact that I am 4 years older than the lovely mrauntiegwen (if you click on the name it will take you directly to his blog, it's better than this one and he can put pictures on without his laptop having a midlife crisis like mine) and the fact that I listened to nothing other than the wheels on the bus and wind your bobbin up from 1992 to 1999 (when the beautiful baby daughter went to school and I went back to listening to the Sex Pistols and The Stranglers, all this was when mr auntiegwen was listening to The Cramps and the Violent Femmes.  I don't know what's worse.

The one band we both loved was Simple Minds and we found out that Sarah  Cox had Jim Kerr on a tellybox thing, we settled down and prepared to sing along.

You forget that the people you thought were cool and good looking age just like you do. Somewhere in the last 2 decades Jim Kerr has morphed into a mix of my ex husband and Alec Salmond. I haven't put the photos in, because I am a kind auntie, you're welcome.

Best just to remember them in their prime

Friday 13 March 2015

23 and 9

Every year we have a May half term holiday with The Boy Wonder, who is the son my husband made earlier, if you don't get that splendid joke, clearly you are far too young for this blog, be off with you and return when you have grey hair.

Now as my husband only made one child, that child needs entertaining. I have never had to do entertaining on that scale as I made three children. When my kids were small they would never entertain the notion of going to a kids club so we rented villas and they all amused each other, when you have one child in a villa you are the only option. Last year's holiday and the dawn to dusk entertaining clean wore us out. This year we have opted for a Eurocamp in Brittany as we hope that having a kids club and other kids around will allow TBW to make some chums and we can have a conversation at some point over the week.

At lots of points in my life do I wonder what is going on. Never more so when I am going to a caravan in France, in a half term week, with lots and lots of overexcited, shreiky children and non guaranteed sunshine and the fight for a non towelled sun lounger.

Especially  when  I realise that my children no longer come on holiday with me as the youngest is 18 and I own a beautiful villa in Turkey with every home comfort imaginable in a quiet spot, no children around, sun splitting the stones and 6 of my very own loungers, I can put my posh hamman towels on any one of them I fancy.

23 years of parenting in and 9 more to go and you just know that someone in the next 9 years will have a baby and we will be destined to be doing this children malarkey for ever. And never once does anyone think of me as a mummy blogger!

Wednesday 11 March 2015

Here's a thing

Today I have a 23 year old child. That 23 year old child has neither fillings nor ASBO's. She does have a degree and a job and lives independently. I don't even have to wash her pants!!!How on earth did I manage to create such a wonderful human?
 A very happy birthday EBD, I luff you, and even if I didn't have to luff you, I still would, because you are, and always will be mo chridhe

Tuesday 3 March 2015

Travels with your auntie

I have been away, I am now home and normal auntie service has resumed. I have had 2 jollities, 1 with husband and one without. Med mand (is not the tinternest marvellous? I found the Danish for with husband in a peko second) the jollity took us to  to Copenhagen, it was very cold, on the same jollity, we went to Malmo, over the Orsesund bridge (I can't be faffed trying to find the proper O with a line through it, just pretend I have) on a train, the very very bridge that Saga and Martin went on (if you are wondering if my last marble has rolled away, it's from The Bridge, the most marvellous of marvellous tellybox programme)

In Malmo, it too was very cold. Mr auntiegwen took eleventy million pictures in both places, I hardly recognize him without a camera attached to his face, I expect if he ever sits down for more than 2 minutes he will blog all about it, with nice pictures, my laptop hates pictures and it takes a long time (which clearly I haven't got much of left) and quite a lot of swearing, you might be better waiting for him. I liked all of the jollity, we even caught sight of a new Nordic noir drama that hopefully will make it's way here called "The Team", we tried very hard to keep up but they don't do English subtitles when you're in Denmark.

After my return from med mand jollities, I went to Essex for work, not normally my stamping ground but I did get 2 diet cokes and a big long chat with Note Bene, glad he could fit me in with all his canapé ing, witty chit chat and flirting with the French ambassador.

My ohne Ehemann jollity took me to Germany (see what I did there? oh I'm fair away with myself today) and I went to visit Eldest Beautiful Daughter who is now living in Dusseldorf. We had the luffliest of luffly times, I luff that child, she is just wonderful and I adore spending time with her. Germany was properly bonkers and Ehemann is gutted that he missed  EBD's local shop displays, especially
- the hairdressers that has a random selection of stuffed toys, books and cake plates
- her landlord, who is selling off his "gone into a care home" mothers possessions in an empty shop
- the local furrier, all kinds of crazy going on there.
Worst of all, he  missed a house with a mural of their Labrador painted on their garage door and the biggest duck you have EVER seen, (not on a garage door mural, on a pond) in your whole wide life, and I am very old and have seen a lot of ducks, this was a mutant.

Anyhoo, I'm back and I am going to have a big sit on the sofa, possibly with gin or wine and if I'm lucky, some maltesers to recover. What have you lot been up to?