Thursday 31 December 2009

Noughties or Nicies ?

A very Happy Hogmanay to you all, I hope your Christmas went well, ours was splendid, in The Mother Country, with the family and David Tennant on tv every single day, how good is that? As the Queen gets to do a wee speech at Christmas I feel it's only fair that I get to do a wee blog on Hogmanay, after all nobody puts my face on a stamp and you don't have to pay to keep me in tiaras, corgis or castles (but if you wanted to, stroll on, be my guest)

How has your decade been? For me this has been the decade which has probably seen the most change, some for the better, some for the worse, some I have just had to accept and adapt to.

On Hogmanay 1999 I was meant to be at a ceilidh in Linlithgow to see in the millennium and our last Hogmanay in Scotland, instead I was at home with a poorly child (Eldest Beautiful Daughter) in Edinburgh, sad that I was leaving Scotland, worried that I was leaving my mum who had just had a stroke and low level excited about our new life in England, we moved here in March 2000.

I stopped being a nurse and retrained as a nursery teacher and then again as an adult eduction teacher specialising in childcare and parenting skills (no laughs from the back row please, my kids are perfectly fine, thank you). The group I set up in 2001 to support first time parents is still going strong 9 years later and I have worked with over 1000 families just through that wee group alone, it remains my favourite job of all time, one day a week I get to squish and kiss babies to my hearts content. I have taught in FE colleges and in a high school (which my bloody year 12 btecs nearly finished me being a teacher for good) and now I work for a children's charity but I still do a lot of training and working with families. All change on the job front.

I am still in the same house in England 10 years on, the longest time I have ever lived in the same house. I don't love this house like I have loved some of my others, but I know I will probably stay until the Beautiful Baby Daughter finishes school, so I have another 5 or 6 years here. I also have The Beautiful House in Turkey as well, until it sells, so if you know someone who wants a house abroad, let me know, mates rates and all that. Same goes for rentals, I think all you bloggers should visit my house this year. Not much change on the house front.

My children have gone from nearly 8 to nearly 18, 4 and a half to 14 and a half and 3 to 13. Huge changes. They are all now bigger than me. They are my life's work and the joy and pride of my heart. They are kind, funny, polite, smart and beautiful and I know I am biased but other (non related) people say these things to me too. They are the love of my life and my reason for everything.

My family, my beautiful parents are alive and well and enjoying retirement.I have added 2 nieces and a brother in law. My sister very sadly has had 2 miscarriages and this has been a hard realisation that her dream of 3 children won't happen. My brother in law has safely had a tumour removed from his brain and at his last 6 monthly check, all remains well. I lost my paternal grandmother at the age of 90. I have almost completely lost touch with my inlaws barring 1 set of brother and sister in law who still love me and I remain a part of their lives. That is sad, I spent 21 years as part of that family and I miss some of my nieces and nephews muchly.

My own personal life has gone from being totally happily married to totally unhappily married and then a detour through separation and a journey through divorce. I have ventured into the dating world after a few decades absence with sometimes painful and sometimes hilarious consequences. There appears to be a theme with my relationships which I call The Unholy Trinity. If you drive a BMW or are an IT/Project Manager or indeed a management consultant or are a Virgo you will be attracted to me. Only men who have at least 2 of the 3 will ask me out. I am catnip to the middle aged executive. The last 3 people I have dated have had 2 out of the 3, the one who had the 3 of 3 (IT GOD) for those of you have been reading a while was the one who was the most difficult to be with, to love and to forget.

Friendships have remained fairly unchanged I still have the ones I started the decade with and very fortunately I have added a few more. Some friendships have seen me through my darkest hours and I will be forever grateful for that. Some of these friendships are virtual, I now know courtesy of blogger, people from all over the world, people who mail me and facebook me and I have never actually met but they are still my friends. Some of these friends I have now met in real life and I have really enjoyed their company. I now have some male friendships, I didn't have that when I was married, I just had female friends and coupley friends, some of these male friendships are completely platonic and some have a will we won't we quality, I like this, a lot.

So for me the noughties have been overwhelmingly a time of change, I didn't think I liked it or could cope with change but I do. I have rediscovered lots of passions and added some new ones. This has been definitely a good decade for me, definitely. So once again I am truly grateful for my beautiful life.

Wednesday 23 December 2009

Driving home for Christmas

Today I will drive home to The Mother Country. Since I took this picture a few days ago, our snow is much deeper but I hope the motorways will be clearer, I'm low level worried about Cumbria and the borders though. Hopefully you won't see me on News at Ten.

Saturday 19 December 2009

Conversations with ex mr auntiegwen

ag - "Did you tell Beautiful Baby Daughter she could have a Nintendo DSI for Christmas?"

ex mr ag "yep"

ag - "She asked me and I said no because she doesn't really play with the Nintendo DS she has and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the one she's got"

ex mr ag -"But it's Christmas"

ag - "She doesn't need it"

ex mr ag - "But she wants it"

ag - "I want to shag David Tennant and a Chanel handbag, that's my Christmas present sorted then."

Wednesday 16 December 2009

Tis the season, hic

Should I be concerned that Eldest Beautiful Daughter is overly fond of the Baileys Hint of Mint bought for Christmas?

It apparently is fab in hot chocolate, adds a certain something to chocolate mousse and she is very much looking forward to using it to replace the milk in her coco pops.

I'm so proud.

Friday 11 December 2009

Reasons I am a "failed grown up" tm The Beautiful Children

I am a disorganised Mummy and didn't check the schedule for the weekend.

I now have to be driving to Sheffield to buy gig tickets as part of a Christmas surprise for The Beautiful Son (don't trust anyone to post them as they may not be real) at the same time as taking Beautiful Baby Daughter to her Girls Brigade Church parade. She will now have to walk to church and as we all know that I am a horrible overcontrolling mummy I won't let her go on her own that means Eldest Beautiful Daughter will have to walk her and be my replacement. EBD's cup of joy runneth over at the thought of getting up and being in church with a hangover. BBD's cup of joy runneth over at having to get EBD up and out and grumpy at being there. I have pissed off both the daughters at the same time. I am too scared to tell them where and why I am going as it would piss them off even more that the recipient of such a hard to get treat will be snoring his fat head off in bed as opposed to walking the 20 mins to church in the rain. And you know it will be raining.

I got overexcited and didn't check dates

I spent most of last Friday morning and £160 buying Peter Kay concert tickets as part of The Beautiful Children's Christmas present. When I got the confirmation email I realised that they are for April 2011. Eldest Beautiful Daughter won't even be living here then. Happy Christmas, you have to wait 16 months to enjoy it.

General failure of life stuff

I have got to provide bank statements and credit card statements for the last year as part of my divorce. Hmm, enough said.

I have to count up all mine and the children's total cost of living, how much we spend on absolutely everything and I am scared to do that level of real maths. I can do shoe and handbag and nice lady things maths (I can spend £165 on these LK Bennett shoes or I can buy the £66 charcoal grey Kew longline cardie and the £85 black and plum leather Kew tote and a new Mac lipstick)

General I still behave like a teenager stuff

I am overgiddy with excitement because we have sublet one of our unused office rooms to the site managers from the buidling site next door. There are men in and out all day long. Surveyorie type men and builderie type men. There are lots and lots of men. In hard hats, with tool belts and in our kitchen being manly. I reek of DKNY woman, am wearing really nice clothes to work and my lipgloss application has tripled. The builderie and surveyorie type men all seem pleased to see me and pop up to my office to see if I want a cup of tea made for me. I am extremely enamoured of this type of office perk. Extremely.

Tuesday 8 December 2009

Cheap Laughs

Would you like to hear what made your auntie laugh out loud in a slightly bitter and ironic fashion, for a long time in a "this is the real deal, I've had 3 kids and my pelvic floor's not what it was" kinda way?

Read on, for your auntie will lay a wee funny upon you, unselfish to my very core, public spirited to the last.

auntiegwen's solicitor " Can I ask if you have any plans to remarry?"

Insert ironic and slightly hysterical laughter accesorised by incredulous facial expression, the "You've gotta be kidding me" look here.

Abso feckin lutely, this divorce hasn't put me off men or marriage in the slightest. I can't wait to do it all again. I am an avid subscriber to "Bridezilla" and my omnipresent Pollyanna hasn't had a dent in her.

And I didn't even charge you the £165 it cost me to hear that.

What a gal.

Friday 4 December 2009

Tis the season to be weird, tra la la la

Are you the sort of person who looks in other people's shopping baskets? You know, when you're in queues, you have a wee glance at what they're buying. When you order stuff off Amazon there is a nice wee feature to satisfy that inner noseyness.

I've spent a huge amount of time and nearly all of my salary on Amazon recently and this little gem popped up

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
Page 1 of 1 (Start over) Back
Jumpstart!: Literacy - Games and Activities for Ag... by Pie Corbett
4.8 out of 5 stars (8) £9.46
Official Borat Mankini Thong
3.5 out of 5 stars (21) £4.75

At that point I was buying a replacement power cable for my laptop. I don't know why I didn't think to accesorize it with lime green comedy sex wear whilst I sat down to improve my childs literacy. How very vanilla of me.

Tuesday 1 December 2009

Tis the season

Your auntie is very very cheerful and full of goodwill at the moment, suck it up please, it's unlikely that Pollyanna will prevail over the grumpy old woman and I'm sure the flying monkeys will be back shortly.

I love love love Christmas and as it's the 1st of December I feel I can let rip and go with the festive flow. I can scoff mince pies and fruit and nut toblerones to my hearts content, put Baileys in my coffee, light my Crabtree and Evelyn Noel candles (when I smell them I know it's Christmas) and get as excited as a 4 year old.

For the first time in 22 years I will be spending Christmas Day with my parents, my children and my sister and her family and I am so excited and also very grateful to my children's dad for his generosity in letting the children be with me.

So I will be in The Mother Country from the 23rd onwards, and my mammy will be minding me, and I don't have to be the Mummy, I get to be the child again, it really will be a fab Christmas.