Eleven things I'd like to have a go at

Zumba
They're running a class in my local high school on Tuesday evenings, apparently it's an exercise that feels like a party. I definitely some of that. I wonder if there will be flirting and drinking too? Anyone want to come with me?

Zorbing
You go in a big inflatable ball and roll down a hill, a bit like being a human hamster. It looks gas fun, The Beautiful Children quite fancy it as well.

Festivals
I'm gutted that I've never done any music festivals, I feel I'm letting myself down. I love live music, I love being with happy likeminded people but I'm middle aged and don't like mud so I've never done one. I really must have a go before I'm too old.

Yoga and/or Pilates
I still want to go that Pilates in France place. All the people I know who do yoga or pilates are all serene and thin and bendy. I'd quite like to be serene and thin and bendy. As opposed to irritable, chubby and not bendy.

Snowboarding and/or skiing
All my children can ski and board. I could have bought a new car or a fitted kitchen with the money I have spent on my offsprings Alpine pursuits. But I've never had a go, all together now... poor poor auntie.

Building/renovating a House
God, wouldn't that be amazing? To create your own home? To have exactly what you want where you want it? The flaw in this plan is that I have zero DIY skills and I live in a house where if something goes wrong I get a teenage boy to fix it or I adapt around it. I have none of the 4 recessed lighting thingies that work in my kitchen and if the 1 light above the kitchen table goes I will need to buy a lamp. Pitiful isn't it?

Being stylishly dressed and accesorised
Not gonna happen is it? I just don't have the imagination for it. I suspect my can't be arsed gene doesn't help.

A pyschology degree
I know, for nearly 4 years I've been bumping my gums that I'd love to do one. Nothing is stopping me except my can't be arsed gene. D'ya think I could get it removed on the NHS?

A gap year
Is this not the middle of my life? do I not deserve a wee rest from the giddy and exciting whirl of kids, work, laundry, heating up stuff and tidying away stuff that is my very rock n roll existence? My friend Neil aka The Edge went travelling years ago and wrote about his adventures and I always hope I'll be able to do that someday too. Obviously not as well as The Edge did, as he pays careful attention to grammar and is always funny, he gets very cross with my spelling, punctuation and grammar. Incidentally, my friend Neil aka The Edge is not in U2, his band is way cooler and currently wowing the good people of central Scotland with their "No sleep till Horlicks" tour.

Singing
I am truly, truly dreadful but it's a talent I dearly wish I possesed. Is it possible to teach anyone, no matter how bad, to sing? Scratch that, you know my can't be arsed gene would be working overtime.

David Tennant
Yum.