Totally ready for real life

Scene 1

A mother's bedroom, around 8am, enter stage left a 17 year old child dressed in a bath towel and socks.

17 year old child/EBD - (in a ranty type of a voice) "Whose bloody idea was it to have mornings so feckin early?, what kind of a stupid idea was that?"

Mummy/auntiegwen - (in a soothing kind of a voice) "Aawh sweetie scone, you're not a morning person are you?"

17 year old child/EBD - (still in the ranty voice) "I don't like this game. I can't find my hair brush, my coco pops are too milky and my tea's too hot and I have lessons ALL day"

Mummy/auntiegwen - (still in the soothy voice) " Life's a bitch right enough" actually the tone had progressed to sarcastic then.

Scene 2

A 17 year old child's bedroom around 5.30pm. Child lying on bed wearing fleecy polka dot jammie bottoms, socks (of course) and a t shirt (child had put on jammies on return from school to have afternoon nap as needed to help function as part human but spilled yoghurt down jammie top and had to put t shirt worn to school back on) Enter Mummy stage right, on return from work.

EBD - "What kind of things do I have to do to live on my own at uni?"

AG - "Laundry, ironing, cooking NOT tinned alphabetti spaghetti or toast, shopping NOT for shoes and lip gloss, paying bills, gas, electric, phone, broadband, council tax, water, road tax, insurance, house, car and life, cleaning INCLUDING toilets, dust, hoover, polish, mop, wash dishes, getting to where you need to be BY YOUR OWN SELF, remembering things, buying things before you run out etc etc etc

EBD - "Well, I'm not going to grow up then. I've only looked at real life on the internet and it scares me. I'll just stay here and go to uni like it's school and nothing has to change "

EBD - " Look Mummy, I made a new game..." Child then makes a dinosaur with her fingers, walks it around and makes eating noises with it "num num num" "Look Mummy, I made a Larasaur" and giggles uncontrollably for a bit.

Yep, totally ready to leave home and function independently, totally.