My Faults

In no particular order...

I am incredibly impatient, just put me in a Post Office Queue to see the dark side of me. Or a supermarket queue or at an airport check in desk, you get the picture. I want instant gratification.

I want my own way all the time. This is compounded and exacerbated by my feeling that I am always right about everything. I have been so angry and pissed off at work recently because I feel I am right on a point of principle and the others don't care as much as me. I am as cross as a bag of cats that I am not getting my own way over this.

I can keep grudges for a very long time and I will cut you out of my life without a backward glance, if you do something that upsets me. I removed my aunt in 1995 because I was pissed off at her wailing and weeping at my Gran's funeral( she did nothing to help my mother in the 10 years she had been caring for Gran when she developed Alzheimers) I actually made her cry after telling her a few home truths. I did the same to my ex friend Jenny also in 1995 when I found out she'd read my medical notes, she was nearly BBD's godmother and I told her off and never spoke to her again. I stopped speaking to Pam in 2006 when she rang my friend Susan asking for info about Gordon and I splitting up. Last year I gave up my friend Jo as I felt her behaviour was outrageous in the extreme. This is not a nice aspect of my personality, I don't do forgiveness easily or well. Judgemental is now appearing to be my default state.

Criticize my children unfairly at your peril. I will verbally annihilate you, no one has the right to do that, except me, not even their other parent, I feel when you give birth to them, it is the top trump, every time. If you teach them, you must be prepared to say good things to criticism on a 2-1 ratio, even then I will smile at you while seething inside and burning holes in my stomach lining, then you will receive crap presents at the end of term. You have been warned.

I need to be loved, I am a sad article, I know, I crave love, my name is auntiegwen and I am a big fat love junkie.

Psychologically incontinent in the extreme, I am always looking for hidden meanings, chance remarks have my guts churning for days, I will always look at what hasn't been said, send me a link for a song you like and I'll be in knots wondering what you're really trying to tell me, I drive myself insane with this.

Passive aggressive, I used to be a Pollyanna but now I've upgraded... to a Martyr Complex.

I like to know where I stand, I need to know how people feel about me. I don't like mystery and I can't bear mind games "treat em mean keep em keen" type stuff. I am fundamentally unsuited to dating and all the thrill of the chase stuff, will he call me again, will I see him type stuff, it just makes me anxious, bollocks to that.

I am very bad at sharing my really deep innermost feelings. I have reams and reams of written stuff that I do when I need to clarify things. I never show it to the people concerned, I'm probably too afraid of their reaction if I was as honest as I wanted to be.

I talk way too much, all the feckin time, no matter what I'm doing, there's nothing I feel won't be enhanced by a bit conversation, and I mean absolutely nothing. Other people, I've found feel differently about this. In bed I have been shushed most vociferously and told that the only thing required from me at that point was to "writhe and moan"
So I did.
At least I learn quickly.