Conversations with my ex

Background info

I spent 2 decades of my life with the man with the world's worst memory. He had no recall of places we'd been, films we saw or people we met. The only things I'm sure he'll remember with relative clarity of his time with me would be the time when I wore the white dress, veil and tiara and the occassions where he accompanied me to the big building where the people in white coats and stethescopes removed small people from me. I'm certain he would know it was me he did those things with, I'm not saying he'd remember all of it but the edited highlights, sure.


Conversation

ag - so you'll pick the kids up at 4.30pm as I have to get to Leicester for 7.15pm

ex - what are you going to see again ? I know you told me ?

ag - it's the Leicester Comedy Festival preview show at De Montford hall

ex - oh have they got a comedy festival ? I love live comedy

ag - thinks yep, I know you do, you've been to that preview show before at least twice, but says nothing

ex - we went to see Frankie Boyle in Nottingham

ag - immediately thinks the "we" referred to is him and his girlfriend and then thinks jealous thoughts , because "we" being me and my ( I have to find a name I'm comfortable with for him) tried to get tickets and couldn't

ag - oh was he good ?

ex - I think so, can't really remember, did you enjoy it ?

ag - I haven't seen him live

ex - yes you have, we saw him in the same hall we saw Texas in

ag - that wasn't me

ex - it was so, we saw him about 3 years ago in Nottingham

ag - no, we didn't, we did see Jimmy Carr in the Leicester Comedy Festival preview show about 5 years ago though


This is the man who walked up to a girl in a bar in Aberdeen and said " I promise I'm not trying to chat you up or anything , but I know I know you but I just can't think from where"
she replied " I'm your cousin Marian, you last saw me at Granny's funeral "


I fitted him with a homing device to keep him coming back to me for those 20 years, I suppose the battery just wore out.