Tuesday 13 January 2009

Meet auntiegwen part 1

This is what my children and the matey boys (who live here part time) think of me. Next time you'll get what himself thinks of me.

Aunty Gwen is the most lovely lady you could ever meet.. She is quite short, very funny and very beautiful :). Despite the lack of actual blood relation, she is like a mother to all of us, always willing to help us out of the usual messes we end up in. She is a wonderful cook (despite the lack of meat) and she is always happy to put up with a house full of large, loud and frequently messy boys, and we all love her very much for it. Aunty Gwen is as of yet to lose the Scottish accent she has brought down to our lovely (and regularly mocked) country, making conversations a welcome break from the norm (though her intriguing sense of humour may add to that :)) We all love her very much and hope she never changes!!!

The matey boys xxx

Marmee, angus, miss Marmee, charkin,silly woman these are a few of many of the names I call my wonderfull charkin. She always is confused but I am going to put her in a nursing home in a few years , she thinks im mentally unstable, sexy and georgus.
She always makes me laugh she thinks that she loves us all the same (but of course she is confused!!! So she loves me the most and she tries to cook but oven chips are good for me. She likes her blog a lot and your are lucky because in a way she kin da loves you guys aswell =)! Love you Marmee, angus, miss Marmee, charkin,silly woman

Jack The beautiful and most loved son.

My mother is probably the best mother you could wish for. She isn’t the greatest cook and she is getting old, but we still love her. Watching her type actually hurts me inside, it is that painfully slow. Me and mother often take small trips to new shopping places, we usually get lost on the way at least once, we then start shopping logically, stop for a starbucks break, continue shopping until we both reach the can’t-be-arsedness stage when we have dinner and return home. I think I’m lucky to have a mummy that looks after me, puts up with me, pays for things, plays my silly games, puts up with my nonsense and loves me no matter what. Mother is always right when it comes to knowing what I should do and she does love to do the ‘I told you so’ dance’, she can’t make decisions and doesn’t like to park unless it’s a well placed ‘mummy space’, usually in the car park of marks and spencers. I do love my mum :)
The eldest and most loved daughter x

I love my mummy so much she is the nicest person I have ever met, she has loved and cared for me for 12 whole years! She is ancient, 42 to be precise.

My mummy is lovely however she is very strict on pets. I have wanted many pets over the years but have never been allowed one, I have to stop sucking my thumb :( .I think my mummy is the prettiest 42 year old on the planet and should win an award for it. Mummy has never been violent to us but has thrown a barbie doll at ebd when she was six.

Written by bbd the prettiest daughter
Published by Mummy


A Woman Of No Importance said...

That is just a priceless post, Auntie Gwen, they've obviously (even the 'adopted' lads) inherited your fine prose style! Lovely.

Shirley said...

What a great Mother's Day card! (do you have Mother's Day there?)

I've loved this idea, writing about your kids and then you. Just because you said you're going to, I'm not sure you should do the one about your faults. A woman ought to be allowed SOME dignity!

Hugs to all of you from the Truly Ancient One across the pond. ;)

DJ Kirkby said...

Lol what hilarious children!

Buddhist in Training said...

Aaaaaw, Auntie Gwen what a fabulous post. I'm not sure that I am brave enough to do the same and hand over the keyboard! But what a tribute to you!

Tim Atkinson said...

Who's their ghost-writer, AG? Or maybe it's like GCSE coursework? (Either way, it's worth framing! Cna you use it as part of your annual appraisal?)

Anonymous said...

Awww what an absolutely, perfectly sweet post. You are indeed a lucky girl!

Frankies' Cornish Farmyard Ramblings said...

Love your post Auntie, I could never do the same! I would have to bribe my brode to lie. Yours sounds like the perfect life and most wonderful home really rather envious apart from the non meat eating bit.
love Frankie

Mean Mom said...

A charming and ingenious post, but you can't kid a kidder, you know.

auntiegwen said...

Fhina - where's awoni gone ? I think we all write like we talk and we are all inbred ! and sound the same

Shirley - everyone was way too polite and I have masses of faults but I'll restrict myself to my main ones ! Jeez - even my main ones will take a while

DJ - oh they're a laugh a minute my crew !

Berthdu - they got to read theirs and then all did a little bit on me, far too polite

Tim - all their own words, but I am blessed as every single day they tell me they love me, and I have told them every day too,even on school trips when they're away I put a little note in the spending money envelope with a little funny quip and an I love you and I miss you, we are a disgustingly loved up family ! My parents didn't say it really ever but I knew they did, they weren't kissy huggy either so I seem to have gone completely the other way with mine.

Lisa - and I always say it, I am indeed lucky and I am truly grateful for them.

Frankie - it's manic, loud and messy and I hope when they remember their childhood, they won't remember that I couldn't cook but they will remember the laughter and the love. We have worked really hard post seperation to learn to be a 4 instead of a 5, and I am much less strict and routine driven than I used to be but the upshot is we seem to be closer. I think I know that the clock is ticking and I'm on the last lap with them and I want to make it count. xx

MM - With my hand on my heart, I asked them to write about me for my blog and they opened up a word document and just typed, although it pained me not to correct some of the spellings, as I didn't want to the world to know how thick I've reared them, it is all their own words.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Now I am not one to believe in conspiracy theories but how come this post sounds like you wrote it?! I think Fhina might be onto something here about inheriting your fine prose style - amazing!

I am mightily impressed! Terrifically witty yet again dear Gwendolin and brought a smile to my face...

auntiegwen said...

Mob - only the intro was mine !

Laura said...

hehe "Not violent but has thrown a Barbie doll" love it!

auntiegwen said...

lolly - I did ! A very rare occassion where your auntie has a tantrum, picture the scene

February half term hol in Edinburgh, pelting rain for 5 days, 3 kids all under 6 going stir crazy, all playing with Barbies, including a 3 year old beautiful son, small toddler baby daughter has 1 barbie, elder 6 year old has nineteen million but then decides she wants the one BBD has, you know what's coming...

BBD refuses to give up Barbie, cajole, wheedle, whine and bribe with every other feckin Barbie in the room but no

EBD yelps, strunts and strops that they're her Barbies, eventually wears yer auntie doon, auntie removes Barbie from BBD who promptly proceeds to the tantrum of the century, auntie then throws Barbie at EBD screeching " Ok are you happy now "

Both daughters and auntie sob for a fair wee while, TBS joins in to keep us company, happy family times !

Working Mum said...

What's the 'I told you so' dance?

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Oh to be so loved. Makes me weep...