Thursday 8 October 2009

10 things I will never do again

Wear leggings and I'm sure we all understand why. And are probably grateful too.

Date a Virgo (eventually I have learned, took me long enough but hey) They are no good with Leo's like me.

Ditto management or IT consultants (I know, I'm crap and I pick the same type over and over again) And we're not going to mention the BMW drivers either. No more will you (unkind friends) be able to call me the executive shag.

Be as horrid to my boyfriends, mea culpa, I have been a crap girlfriend. Please, ex boyfriends if you still read me, accept the apology but don't feel the need to enlighten the other readers, they still like me.

Get divorced, I don't even want to begin my divorce maths (if I didn't get divorced and have to spend ten grand I could buy...) it's a feckin lot of Louboutins or Choos or Prada bags or even a new car, or a round the world trip, feck it's so depressing, just wasted money. The last time I spent anything like that I got a new frock, a party and a fortnight in the sunshine.

Be financially dependant on anyone.

Be complacent about my career, I have shocked myself at how ambitious I am becoming, truly, it's late blooming but ferocious.

Worry about how clean and tidy my house is. It will never be as clean and tidy as it used to be but I'm not the woman I was and I don't like the me I was then, so fair play.

Worry generally, it's a bit of a waste of effort, que sera sera.

Not appreciate how extremely lucky I am and what a fantastic life I have.


Anonymous said...

What was that about Virgos and IT Consultants???

Anonymous said...

I plan not to get divorced again. Or wear leggings.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Aye, wise words and wise affirmations to live by. I too am at a stage where I see some stuff that I don't want to do anymore and am trying to get back to where I was - better values and more compassion. The fact that I don't give a hoot what people think of me now - ok, not entirely but I care less, frees me from constant niggling doubts.

Good to have a spring clean now and again eh?!

lisaq said...

Great list. I actually wore leggings for the first time in years last week and got favorable reviews from my daughters so I may very well go there again. The rest...yep, me too!

Working Mum said...

I'm a Virgo married to a Leo. Is the writing on the wall then? But then, sheesh, the cost of a divorce. I think I'll put up with him a bit longer!

A Confused Take That Fan said...

I hope that i find some blooming ambition again. You must have my share. I miss my tidy house, how sad is that. I must remember when my husband is being an arse how expensive divorce is. Great list Auntie x

Shirley said...

Divorce is expensive but what other weight loss plan will let you shed 180 lbs. of ugly fat -- and give it to a woman you can't stand. ;-)

Helena said...

Leggings are okay with a long-line dress top if you've got slim legs. Never wear a top above camel toe with leggings! That's a no no!

And I've NEVER worried about how tidy my house was, so I'm happy to see that one there! It's tidy when it suits, but quality time - especially with kids - comes before any jumbled room! Hubby take note!!

Rarelesserspotted said...

Whatever happened to the multi-colroured leggings with knitted toes? Don't date Geminis either - party animals but two faces... I've just come home after three days away and the kids have tidied the house - got rid of the rubbish, filled the dishwasher up... thought I was in the wrong bl**dy house!

softinthehead said...

Good for you, definitely agree with the leggings, a fashion suitable for only a miniscule amount of girls! haha I have to admit to liking my house spic and span though - if only I could bring myself to pay someone else to do it. Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

HI, there, I'm married to a Virgo -- and so far it's working out great. It's no bad thing to have a checkbook which always balances (thank you, Rob!) or a car or a stove or a TV that is always in fine nick. And no one can unravel computer problems the way he does -- especially as I am prone to hitting some weird combination of keys and getting something odd to happen -- like all the margins going to a default or a large black square in the middle of the screen which won't go away even when I shut down and re-boot. So I'm afraid I'll have to agree to disagree about Virgos, though I think you probably have a valid point about leggings if one is over the age of 12! Thanks for a really cute posting. The Canadian Chickadee

Madame DeFarge said...

I am with you on the leggings front. Those and ra ra skirts. Not a good look at all.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I love my leggings - I'm a big girl, and with long tunic tops, I can get by because my legs aren't that bad... Noooo, don't take away my leggings, Beautiful Auntie Gwennie??!

And, please can you add in Audi drivers - They're the new BMW drivers, I swear - Bastards! ;) xxx

Anonymous said...

Stop by. I left something on the porch for you.

scrappysue said...

hey! hope you made it home ok and that you had a wonderful time in glasgow! thank you so much for taking almost 12 hours roundtrip just to come meet me - it was so great to meet you!!!

hugs from me and mr scrappy

auntiegwen said...

Mud - I know, I know, I hang my head in shame. Does it help if I say none of his degrees are in IT ?

Matthew - very wise x

Mob - I so want to come and see you to get you to use your pysch degree to clean my mind xx

Lisa - step away from the leggings, I repeat step away from the leggings !!!:)

WM - maybe it's ok if the wife is Virgo, mr ex auntiegwen was an Aries and they are supposed to be very good with leos and here's me spending 10K on divorce ! I do know astrology is bollocks really

ACTTF - yep, but I'd spend it and all again to have the me I am now, happily x

Shirley - ah the 3rd verse and disco chorus, thanks pet x

Lena - glad it's not just me that's messy

RLS - how did you get them to do that ? will you come round to mine and teach my kids ? I will now also avoid Gemini's thanks for the warning x

Softy - I used to have a cleaner but it just made me feel uncomfortable and exploitative, which I wasn't she was paid way over the odds but hey ho, just my upbringing

Canadian Chickadee - you're right, my Virgo's have all done those things for me too but I am fundamentally unsuited to order, chaos is my default state :)

Madame - how could I forget the ra ra skirt ?

Fhina - you may keep your leggings my dear, it's just me who's not going to wear them and Audi drivers, sure, I'll add them to my list of not to dates, there'll be no one left but no sweat x

Matt - thanking you most kindly x

Sue - so great to meet you, sorry it was for such a short time but there's always next time :)

Muddling Along said...

Great list - have given into leggings despite vowing not to and been pleasantly surprised by how comfy they are (only in the safety of my house)

Nothing wrong with a bit of ambition