Valentine Schmalentine part deux

In my last post, I was setting out my stall as to what I wanted for Valentine's Day. I had no conception that this Valentine malarkey should be a 2 way street. Oh no, your auntie was thinking how very what splendid it would be if SHE got what she wanted, no thought whatsoever that I would actually have to do anything my own self.

So, in my comments, I had lots of lovely sweet wishes from my bloggy loved ones, a special mention to TF who offered to change sex for me, now that's what I call friendship ! some great offers and some sage advice from Soxy, you can read the comments here

So I drag MY sorry ass into town and into the card shop. As I'm there I realise I haven't sent a Valentine's card in over 20 years, I think I was 20 the last time. Well, dear readers, I was horrified, they were all really bleurggh, I, of course have no clue what I actually want because I don't buy them I've never looked at them.

Some I could discount right off the bat, the ones that say to my husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, love of my life, the one I love, someone very special etc etc etc.

Then I discounted the cute ones with teddy bears and fluffy bunnies etc, after barfing of course, I am just so not a teddy bear kinda gal.

I have to discount all the flowery ones, not partial to that.

Then I have to discount the ones that say " I want to shag you senseless" I feel a little decorum is called for.

That leaves me with the funny ones, except they weren't.

I ask the Thorntons lady if she would ice " Fecking Romantic Gesture" on a chocolate heart and she looked at me like I'd kicked a puppy and told me off for my language, suitably chastened, I left shamefacedly.

So I try another card shop and lastly a 3rd and I still couldn't find a card that I would be happy to send or to receive myself, for the love of God, why can't I find a simple, stylish, tasteful card ?

Now I realise why men don't make a fuss over Valentine's Day, it's just fecking hard work, I was an hour, a whole hour trying to get a card, do you know what else I could have been doing in that hour ?

However, I have put the work in and I feel sure that come Saturday, I shall be rewarded most handsomely for all my efforts.

Incidentally should anyone want to take me anywhere on Saturday, I have THE sexiest new little black dress and killer heels...