10 Things I learned this weekend

There is a new sign on the border, it's blue and has what is I suppose someone's modern interpretation of the Saltire on it and is says "Welcome to Scotland" and underneath "Failte gu Alba" I preferred our original "Ceud Mille Failte" pronounced coo milla falcha, which is Gaelic for A hundred thousand welcomes. I know I'm turning into a Grumpy Old Woman, I'll be standing in for Jenny Eclair on the next tour.

The M74 and M6 have a staggering amount of roadworks especially southbound, it took me 2 hours longer to drive back to England today than it did to get home on Friday. Yes, I am aware that I'm sounding like a Daily Mail reader, I'm working on it !

I get very irritable in traffic, I wasn't even appeased by the hot guy who smiled, winked and flirted with me for 25 minutes along the M6, I would rather have just not had the delay, what did he think could happen ? That I'd pull over and Gillian him on the hard shoulder ?

Scotland had the best of the weekend weather, it was beautifully Autumnal there, crisp but bright and sunny and last night there the sky was so clear with beautiful stars, ok it was feckin freezing but I still had the stars.

I don't like the new Sharleen Spiteri CD, it sounds like 60's pop music, I gave it to my mum, she likes it and I wasn't that struck on the new Snow patrol one either.

Women underestimate how important sport is to men, I don't know if it's all sport but golf seems to be incredibly important, there is a huge application of thought and psychology that surprised me.

Men do not want to be questioned about things, they will even lie about stuff to avoid this kind of dialogue, I always thought it was conversation, they don't think it is.

Women are too harsh on themselves about their body image, men apparently aren't too fussed by a bit cellulite or the odd wobbly bit, the analogy used to explain this to me was " If I've got to the stage where you're naked then it 's like being 3 foot away from an open goal and stopping to play keepie uppie whilst checking out the condition of the pitch, if I'm 3 foot away from an open goal, I'm gonna make sure I shoot and score" Thank you, that makes me feel sooooooo much better.

I finally know how to do the click on the word thingy, I got a full tutorial this morning and he even wrote it down for me in step by step stages so I can do it all by my own self. Please click here to listen to a song I heard in the car on the way home, I had this up full blast and stuck my foot down, I'd forgotten how much I loved this song. They were playing in Glasgow last night and I didn't know, they were the first band I ever saw.

Every woman needs a bit of edge in her life

The greatest of thanks to my host, he re arranged his weekend, provided me with food and drink, cooked and washed up after me, washed and ironed the organic cotton bed linen, provided me with some extemely valuable insights into the male psyche, refrained from telling me what an arse I am making of my life and didn't comment on how funny I find things after a few glasses of the red stuff and how quickly I can inhale Merlot.

New Year Blues

I'll keep it brief as I am like a bear with a sore arse at the moment and I don't want my misery to inflict the blogging public.

I am hoping this is a temporary situation and it's just the usual post xmas, post new year angst - I'm getting old, what have I done with my life, same old same old that we sometimes have.

I am truly grateful for the good things in my life but at the moment it's difficult to keep that in perspective whan contrasted to the complete and utter misery that I feel.

Again, I am truly grateful for the good things in my life. If I keep telling myself that maybe I'll feel better soon