Things I'd rather not hear

BBD - auntieangela and I saw who you used to babysit for. She's a granny now. That's just grand, thanks for that

EBD - your son does tricks for smarties, I made him pretend to be a dog, he rolled over, gave paws, the lot. Cheers. I'm so proud.

M6 info board - long delays between J23 and J20 (they are feckin liars it was J24 and 18, bastards that they are, I concur most heartily with my friend Edge about the M6)


TBS - that wee light showing on your dashboard means there's an engine malfunction. Feckity feckity feck.

Mad Mother - Could you go on the computer and get me and Gadget Mad Dad a flight to Turkey? Fuckity fuckity fuck.