Another Birthday Blog

It's a scary thought that my youngest child is 14 today. Growing up, becoming less of a child and more of a teenager yet she is and always will be my baby.

The most fiery of all my children, the one with determination and zeal, sometimes means life is less laid back with her in it but it's never ever boring. She just fizzes with energy, talks non stop from morning to night and is always active. She always has a real passion and enthusiasm for things, always has a project on the go and gives it her all.

She is so loving and open to love, the kindest of souls, always looking out to help her friends and taking their worries away. She makes me so proud.

I always say when she sleeps I can still see the baby version of her. I found this photo a few weeks ago and it made me shed a few tears, she is edible in this. I used to go and look at her asleep and my heart would melt. And it still does, my wee tootsy moppet, the last baby of mine, the joy of my heart. Lucy Abigail, mo chridhe, tha gaol agam ort.

10 things I heart about my baby teen

Today the Beautiful Baby Daughter becomes a teenager. She is the most complex of my children and is the one that we have the most fireworks with. But our puss cat makes us our family.

She is always busy, she never complains of being bored, she will just find herself doing something, very rarely does she just relax.

She is hugely creative, she can paint, draw, design and make things.

She is scared of no one and nothing. If you piss off the puss cat, she'll not be long in letting you know.

She is the incredibly capable and self contained, she is the most domestic of us all, quite able to look after herself and us. She could actually leave home tomorrow and be fine, unlike her sister who will be at least 36 before she is a fully functioning human.

She has her own taste and won't be swayed. She lives with a house full of indie rock n roll afficionados and she likes Take That and Girls Aloud. And cares not a jot when she's mocked.

She will write you little notes and give you certificates telling you how good you are at things. These are priceless. Ditto my "Tokens of Glory" - every year on Mothers Day, she makes me a beautiful box and inside I get some tokens, I get a "cup of coffee on demand" sometimes a "tidy up with no moaning" and my very favourite is an "end an argument with Lucy" one. If you knew her, you would know how good that one is. She is a shit hot arguer, top barristers practice their debating skills with her.

She is very smart, focused and will work for what she wants. She really just goes for it. This is refreshing after the other 2 laid back work shy articles I've reared.

She is an incredibly beautiful child, delicate and graceful. She moves like a dancer, has amazing bone structure and the crowning glory of that titian hair. Photo's never do her justice, she would have painters reaching for their brush to capture her colouring.

She is loving, sweet and kind. Even though she lives with us and we are a challenge for her on a daily basis, she remains loving, sweet and kind.

She still looks like a baby when she's asleep, the thumb still remains very firmly in the rosebud mouth and the cheek still has that babyish curve.

Happy Birthday to my baby, a teenager today, you are precious beyond words but you are mo chridhe, my heart.

Things I don't understand, the 09 remix.

How can people renting my villa take the curved, corner unit shower door off it's runners ? Actually, don't tell me, I don't like to think of how people treat The Beautiful House when they rent it. I can't begin to imagine what they thought would happen by phoning me at 10.30pm in England, in what way I could assist them, that I could wave my magic landlady wand and all would be well ? They also locked themselves out of their bedroom but fortunately I could fix that by telling them where I keep the spare keys. Sometimes I think people are too stupid to leave the country.

How can it be so unbelievably hot and sunny all week making my classroom hotter than Hades and yet today ON MY DAY OFF it rains ? I had a lovely day planned, a sun lounger had my name upon it, a bikini was awaiting me, a good book begging me to read it and NAE WEANS, a whole day of peace, and it rains, bad Karma, bad.

How can I have spent £3,389.72 IN A MONTH ? Feckity feckity feck, it did include flights to Turkey, some holiday money, the new washing machine, the car service, The Beautiful Son's birthday presents and meal out and all the other regular stuff, but even so. That's the biggest bill your rubbishwithmoney auntie has ever had.

Why do I keep buying lingerie (that will be on next month's credit card bill) when absolutely no one except me sees it? Please look at my fancy new knickers, I'll feel better about spending the money on them, I thought they were divine and would look deadly with my tan, again poor auntiegwen, no one to appreciate the tan and the new knickers.

So to recap, stupid people in my villa and I'll see the unedited version of how they left my house as they leave the day I arrive (next Saturday).

Feckin weather, hot when I'm at work, raining when I'm off.

Credit card bill, Marks and feckin Spencers.

The tumbleweed that is my romantic life.

All together now, poor poor auntie.

PS - don't feel too sorry for me, it's 12.27 now, I'm still in bed reading blogs, posting this and eating a box of Guylian La trufflina' s that were kindly given to me by students.

Not too shabby.

Tag, I'm it

I have been tagged by That Girl for a photo tag

The rules:
Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures
Pick the 4th picture in that folder
Explain the picture
Tag 4 people to do the same

Okay, so here is my photo. It's an apartment block in Paris that I found very beautiful and would have loved to live there. It was taken from Les Invalides in October 2007. Paris is a city I love and I should make an effort to spend more time there. Note to self, travel more.



So mes amies, see what I did there ? Clever eh ? not just a middle aged face.

I tag

Tom Foolery because she is very nifty with a camera.

Indigo Alison as her photography is always beautiful and thought provoking, visiting her blog is a real visual treat.

A woman of no importance as dear Fhina also illustrates her blog with fantastic imagery.

So because I am so subversive I am only going to tag 3 bloggers and they can choose to do the original 444 tag or go with my 333.

Rebel is my middle name.

Well, that was the quickest week of the year !

Why do your holidays go so fast ? I'm back now from my week in the sun and it's feckin freezing here! We had a brilliant time. We didn't do much, just relaxed really, I did some AS level marking and EBD wrote some essays but mainly we just enjoyed not being at school. We were extremely lucky as the weather was gorgeous, around 25 every day but on Wednesday we did have a cloud for about 10 minutes, so I suffered too !
Our week contained lots of sunbathing (that would be me, my kids don't like to sunbathe, if I hadn't given birth to them, I'd seriously doubt they were mine)
Lots of swimming (that would be them, I didn't even go in the pool)
We visited the farmers market as we always do, and bought our stash of fruit and our yummy cashew, pistachio and honey and sesame peanuts as is our want.
We went out to eat a lot ! That will be why there are no photos of the sunbathing, I fear the world is not ready for my fatness in a bikini, but if I'm in my own garden I will happily inflict no end of nakedness on my poor children in my attempt at an all over tan.
We also spent lots of time with our beautiful friends who live next door to us in Turkey, the can't live without them, Keith and Heather, who have retired and are living their dream in the sunshine. They are a real inspiration to me, this is an uber happy second relationship for them and they just enjoy being, they've a real zest for life, game to try anything, myself and the kids love them to bits and not just for the treats and the rides on their quad bike !


On Beautiful baby Daughter's birthday, our lovely friends Keith and Heather treated BBD to a portrait after dinner and my little poser just loved it !

We also went go karting, my children scared the bejaysus outta me, they go really, really, fast. I, myself am a very careful and considerate, stick to the speed limit kinda gal.


Eldest beautiful Daughter couldn't understand my reluctance to let her drive my car when she turns 17 in March !

Please brace yourself for several gratuitous shots of my family, I just can't help myself, they're just too beautiful.







We just spent time together and they had a week of full fat Mummying without the distractions of school, marking, lesson prep, mates, myspace and ok I admit, blogging to get in the way. That was special, I know there won't be that many holidays left with all three of them. I do hope that the villa can be passed on and that they bring their own children there and recreate the lovely low key, relaxing, laughter packed holidays that I am fortunate enough to have with them.

I pretty much adore everything about my villa and my holidays there but for me one of THE best bits about it is this...
Every day around 6.30pm I have pink o'clock and as the beautiful children were getting showered I sat on the terrace, had a glass of the pink stuff and my cashew nuts in my special wee bowl (anal, who me ?) and watched the beautiful sunset over Babadag mountain, shown above and pink o'clock, shown below.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow The Beautiful Children and I will be going here for half term, I am so looking forward to this.




Every morning we will be waking up to this.



And whilst we are there we have yet another thing to celebrate, I know it doesn't get much better than this !



On Monday my Beautiful Baby Daughter will be 12. I used to sing to her when she was a baby, this is her song...

Wee Tootsie Moppet
Mummies wee poppet
Daddies darling baby girl
You're the best thing in the world.

It doesn't seem like 12 years ago and yet when she's sleeping I really can see the baby version of her. She was the cutest little thing and the most articulate of them all, no matter what she puts her mind to, she'll do it. I would not be surprised to see her running the country one day. My little sweetie scone is not much smaller than me now but she still is and always will be my baby. She looks so much older this year, it's been the one I've seen the most difference in. She has the most glorious mop of titian hair and I am struggling to persuade her to keep it long, I would put ribbons in it, she just rolls her eyes at me. She now has very strong opinions on what she wants to wear and I know I have to let her grow up but she is very probably my last baby and I'd like to keep her that way as long as I can.She has an answer for everything and she can never admit that she's wrong, I don't know wher she gets that from!!! She has the most infectuous laugh and you can't help but join in. She could start a fight in an empty house but still is the most caring of wee souls. She is so enthusiatic and really goes for it, and despite the regular trumpet practice,I love her so very much and I am very priviledged to be her Mummy. She is my heart, mo chridhe.

Forty feckin Two

I have been showered with gifts, cards, texts and emails, I thank you kindly.

Filthiest card of the day award goes to The Edge

Funniest message written inside the card goes to The Beautiful Son.

Doubled in Value

I haven't mentioned my running for a while but I am running fairly well at the moment. Back in May I went to a hen night and I met my friend's running partner, a nice man who has now become my partner, in preparation for the marathon I hope to run.

What he gets out of this arrangement I don't know as I hold him back, whine, procratinate and behave like a teenager. He does all the work, reads running books, sets routes and does spreadsheet things, he even sometimes brings me homemade Bailey's cheesecake as it's my favourite, he is truly a sweet, sweet man. He is extremely polite and has the poshest voice ever and he calls me "Dahling" and it sounds like that, I completely take the mickey out of him for being so English and he is beginning now to overcome his natural gentlemanly traits, his shyness and reserve and is trying to banter back with me.

So how do I repay this lovely, lovely man for all his hard work. Easy, on my trip back to The Mother Country I buy a car bumper sticker of the Saltire. I drive to his house and put it on the back of his Mini. His little pet peeve is people putting stickers on their car. I am hysterical at the thought of him driving around and not knowing it's there, a double whammy, the sticker and the fact he's so ultra English. Of course, sad article that I am, I photograph it and blog it. My problem is I think I am really funny.

He found it today ! He's told me that revenge is a dish best served cold, I wonder if tomorrow I'll wake up and find a St George's Cross painted on the front of my house ?

Just another Saturday

I got the underground into Glasgow city centre to meet the Edge. I was the only one in the carriage. It was half past 2 in the afternoon and there on the seat in front of me was an empty bottle of Buckfast. How bad does your Saturday morning need to be to deserve a whole bottle of Buckfast ?

Anyway, I meets the Edge and we went to Starbucks, of course, I completely ripped him for his 4 shot extra hot Caramel Macciato, but being a lady I did refrain from commenting on his fully Pringled up attire, and we spent hours there just musing on our lives and people watching.

Who'd have thought you could have so much fun sober, with all your clothes on and without a funny shaped stick in your hand ?

Musings from my Mammies

Well, I've crossed the border once again and am at home, at my mammies in The Mother Country.

All's well here, I've been visiting family and eating my body weight in Empire Biscuits, which, truth be told, I'm getting a wee bit sick of now.

The Beautiful Mother aka my mammie continues to try and over please at every turn. She waits on us hand and foot and has a fridge and cupboards full of all kinds of goodies. If she offers you something and you accept, she then tries to give you something else as well, a bit like " Would you like a biscuit with your coffee ?", "You would, lovely, well, could you go a wee Danish pastry with it as well ?" she offered me chips with my soup yesterday, I wondered if she was going to float them in my bowl ! If you enjoy something she immediately offers to make it again for you, " Oh I'm glad you enjoyed that darling, would you like another one ?" it's just as well I don't live here, I'd be twice the size.

My gadget mad dad continues to be gadget mad, he has bought another computer and to keep his Ipod Nano company, he had bought an Ipod touch, as you do !

I was shopping today in Buchanan Galleries with Eldest Beautiful Daughter and I met a fellow blogger for the first time, the lovely Laura, fellow Sharleen aficionado, it was brilliant to see you Laura, I was hoping you'd be at work and I hope the next time, we'll go for a wee refreshment to match our blether. I now know what you mean about John Lewis customers though. Just after that EBD and I were looking at clothes when this nice lady started chatting with us, this happens a lot in Glasgow, never where I now live in middle England, but at home people just chat with you. This was a nice lady and we chatted for a few minutes and she said " can I ask you something?" , " Sure" says us, " Do you know that Jesus loves you ?" says the wee lady, she them proceeds to tell us about Jesus before giving us a hug and a kiss each and sends us on our way.

I just love this kind of randomness, never happens anywhere else, just at home.

We then go into Boots and are approached by another lady who says " Excuse me, can I ask you something? " well, me and EBD are on the floor laughing and we fair confused the woman who wanted our opinion on what sunglasses suited her face best, so we spent 10 minutes helping her choose her sunglasses and off she went all happy. God I love this country.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter has gone off to Edinburgh to stay her friend and I'm off to eat at least 42 different offerings from my mammie.

It's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo great to be home, even if it hasn't stopped feckin raining.

ps I can't take the credit for this bit of graffiti or even the photo. IT God assures me he drove (in his BMW) to a really dodgy area, risking life and limb to capture this for me. He also says he was asked by a passing policeman if everything was ok !

Humans in Training

Now, you all know how much I love The Beautiful Children but I have to confess that they rely on me just slightly less than when they were babies. I am at their beck and call 24 hours per day. No matter what I am doing, if they need something, they just interrupt me with a plaintive "Mummeeeeeeee, I need you to...." They will shout from one end of the house to the other for me, I don't respond to shouting so then they will text me or call my mobile asking for grapes to be fed to them or some other such nonsense. No one except me can find any feckin thing in this house. My family lose things a lot.

They think nothing of waking me up to ask me to find something, last Saturday Beautiful Baby Daughter woke me up before 7 to ask me where her majorette stick was. I then had to get up and watch her twirl to some very brain addling pop music for 20 minutes and that was before my coffee. She loves to put on shows for me, sometimes I get them twice daily. No matter what I'm doing, if she needs something she has to come first. Last week I looked after my friends baby and BBD accused me of not paying her and her dancing any attention, I was pushing a baby in a swing !!! She gets very cross if I'm on the phone, she demands to know who I'm talking to and she says things like " you never do anything with me" That's because I'm too busy finishing all the jobs I leave undone as I keep getting interrupted.


Eldest Beautiful Daughter has rang and rang and rang during lessons convincing me that I need to answer the phone as some disaster has surely befallen her only to find she is looking for her skinny jeans. She constantly needs driving places and she says things like "but you want me to be safe, Mummy" and I'm always taking her to buy shoes, that child goes through Converse like you wouldn't believe. I spend a disproportionate amount of time sorting clothes out for her, her laundry load is phenomenal. She has the attention span of a house fly and if there are no matey's around I get the "I'm bored Mummy, entertain me" and she talks nonsense at me till my ears bleed.

The Beautiful Son rings and texts me constantly asking if he's allowed anything else to eat, this is an omnipresent worry for him. He's no sooner finished eating one meal and he's looking for his "afters" or his snack and God help me if I say we're having brunch, he looks at me like I've just kicked a puppy. Amalgamation of meals is something his little brain is unable to comprehend. This boy likes 3 meals per day, 2 with afters and at least 4 snacks. He also has real difficulties in finding things and is getting slightly obsessed with doors being locked (since EBD mad mate came in shouting and TBS locked himself in the loo cos he thought we were being burgled) and he accompanies me round the house at night to ensure it's locked, he also doesn't like to be downstairs on the computer on his own, so I have to sit there till he's finished before I can go to bed. He also likes to be asleep before me. He likes to go to bed at 11, I like to go at 9.30 ( I've got an early morning majorette show) so I am now perpetually knackered.

This is in addition to the 5 courses I teach and all the prep for that, I do all the washing, cooking (ok, heating up), cleaning, shopping, ironing, driving and anything else that needs doing.I could also do a spot of United Nations peace keeping as I am constantly refereeing between them. They often ask me which one I love the most, each child thinks a different one is the favourite. TBS used to ask which one I'd save first if there was a fire ( what goes on in my kid's brains ?) but stopped after EBD said it would be him as he's too stupid to get himself out. God, is it any wonder I've got grey hair ?

My week without the weans got down graded to Fri and Sat night without them, so EBD went on Thurs night and came back on Sunday afternoon, TBS and BBD went on Fri night and came back Tues afternoon so all the things I'd planned to do to the blog didn't get done, aw well, there's always next year.

ps yesterday I was so feckin demented with their wants I recorded a new voicemail message which I think put my point across quite well, so ring me and have a listen.

Decisions, Decisions

As my nearest and dearest will tell you I am chronically and terminally indecisive. It's just as well I'm a vegetarian as if I had a whole menu to choose from it would take me weeks, the 1 or 2 veggie options suit me quite well, thank you very much.

In the list of decisions I have got to make in the next few weeks, I'll let you have the easy one

What the feck am I going to do with my life ?

Should I be brave and take a chance, be a bit reckless and try and make some happiness for myself ? Or should I revert to Mummy mode, keep the peace and put their happiness and needs above mine

I don't need to add the again for any mummies reading this.

Techfeckinology part umpteen

Yes, my nemesis has come back to haunt me again. At work all my timetable for next term starts on Monday, why ? The computer says so, I got my confirmed timetable only on Wednesday and being a good girl I planned Mondays first 3 lessons and submitted the lesson plans. Then as I was leaving today I found out that all the school timetables are wrong as the students have a completely different timetable to the staff, so they will issue an electronic timetable later today. That means I do not know who or where or when I will be teaching next week or in September. This matters a lot as I am part time and I have arranged other teaching work elsewhere based on what I thought I was available to do. All because of a technical hitch.

Whilst at home....

I am writing this on the new PC as my laptop says on 1 part of the screen it's connected to the internet but on another it has "connection issues"

Well I have issues too...

So I have struggled to sort this out ( ok I asked the weans and switched it on and off, then I switched off the router thingy and switched it back on again) and IT God now has a limit on how many times I'm allowed to ask for help and he keeps threatening to show me how to do stuff myself, does he not know me at all? I mean, the policy of acting all helpless and getting people to do my tech stuff for me has served me well over the last 4 decades !!!

So here I am, not prone on my bed but upright in the dining room letting you know that I am still alive. As it's the end of term we've been mainly school fete ing and school concert ing

Beautiful baby Daughter and Eldest Beautiful Daughter both claim to have won the 6 foot tall bright orange and black soft toy shark that I keep tripping over. They have the same first initial and the daft pair both really want the damn thing. Well of course that's all I need to make my happiness complete a 6 foot toy shark, lucky me. An asset to any home.

Beautiful Baby Daughter had to play her trumpet at a musical concert last night at school. They provided wine on arrival, wine at the interval and then more wine at the end. This helped tremendously with my enjoyment levels of the evening. At no point in the evening did the violin playing sound like a cat being ironed. I feel all childrens performances would be much easier to get through with this help. Maybe even parents evenings for both teachers and parents ? Should I put it in the staff suggestions box at work ?

I am out drinking tonight and possibly out drinking tomorrow night. This will make 3 nights in a row. I wonder if my behaviour will be worse for the cumulative effect or because all my lovely bloggy friends have assured me that I'm just having fun ?

I've had a busy day !

I awoke The Beautiful Son and showered him with gifts and kisses.

I made breakfast for everyone and then the packed lunches.

I ran for 5 miles.

I baked The Beautiful Son's Birthday cake.

I spent an hour prepping for Friday's lesson.

I did a load of laundry, pegged it out, cleaned the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher.

I went to work and during the departmental staff meeting, I presented a new IT system for enrolling students ( I had a lot of help with this courtesy of a charming IT consultant, whose number is now stored on my phone under God)

I spent 2 hours cleaning out our resource cupboard at work.

I came home, vacuumed the house, emptied the dishwasher and took in the laundry.

I cleaned up (without yelling) the broken snowglobe that Rhys Daniel ( TBS maddest mate) had broken whilst playing indoor golf with a rugby ball.

I drove into the village to collect take out pizza's that TBS wanted for tea.

I then drove back into the village to go to the bank, as Beautiful Baby Daughter needs money for my ticket to see her play her trumpet in the school concert. I will of course, go with joy and be tremendously enthusiastic about these budding musicians.

I emptied the bins ready for collection tomorrow.

I did some prep for tomorrows lesson with the nursery nurses.

I have bug busted Beautiful Baby Daughter's hair.

I have spoken to my mummy on the phone.

I have blogged this.

I am now very tired and this is why I am usually asleep by 9pm.

The Beautiful Son - A Teenager !

Can you believe that my adorable baby boy has had the audacity to turn into a teenager !! The cheek of him. Tomorrow he will become 13.

He really was the most gorgeous baby, he had a cheeky smile, a really infectious laugh, very blonde hair and had big brown eyes that looked up at me like I was the Queen of the world. Some things have slightly changed over the years, he's much less blonde now and the big brown eyes look down on me now but I have to say he still looks at me with love.

When he was little he had lots of cute sayings and doings, he used to call me Mummydarling, all one word, he genuinely thought that was my name, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he thought for a bit and announced that he thought that being a King would be a good job ! He was very scared of small yappy type dogs, big yappy type dogs and most animals really. When he was a toddler he was a one man demolition machine, he touched and broke everything in his path, it really was just as well he was so lovable.

Today he plays rugby, is fearless, has long hair, plays electric guitar and looks very cool. He has a real integrity to him and is a really popular boy, everyone who meets him loves him.

Once when he was 2 he had completely destroyed the playroom, a real huge mess and when I went in I pointed to it and I asked him " What did Jack make ? " pointing at the mess and he replied " Mummydarling happy, Jack makes Mummydarling happy"

And he still does, every single day and I count my blessings for the gift of him and the absolute priviledge to be his mummydarling, I am THE luckiest woman in the world, because he's mine and I love him more than I can ever say, he's my heart, mo chridhe.

My arse

It's been a quiet week this week. Beautiful Baby Daughter has been on a school trip to Wales but is coming back tomorrow. I have missed my wee sweetie scone and she's missed me, she texted me yesterday saying, I just need a hug, aawh babbins.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter continues on her exam merry go round but only has 3 left, so on the home stretch.

The Beautiful Son continues to be a work shy article whose has practised his twin pastimes of Runescaping and eating to olympic standard this week. No BBD to share the computer or jaffa cakes with !!!

EBD made me laugh today, when I got in from work she told me that TBS had got changed out of his school uniform but he'd put his t shirt ( a Glasgow Rangers Football top, no hate mail please, I didn't buy it !!!) on back to front, so she tells him and he looks down to check. There emblazened across his chest is his name and the number 11, he hadn't noticed. Her parting comment ** " Gifted and talented, my arse !!!"

Join in with me now, " Oh Sweet child of mine"


** The Beautiful Son was picked out for the Gifted and Talented programme whilst at primary school. It was a government thingy that gave extra classes to kids that were identified as being more able, he was picked for the science stream. A fact that somehow surprises people when they meet him !!! It also annoyed the crap out of his sisters who were not chosen.

Yesterday

Yesterday

I did have my hair cut, please see photo and tell me if you like the shortest hair I have had in years.

I demented Eldest Beautiful Daughter by making her take several photos of me as I want to get a wee picture of me beside my name when I comment, I still can't do that, please tell me how to.

I went to a hen night and was the most sober there by a gazillion miles ( and I had 3 glasses, you'll hear more of that later)

I sorted out a lovers tiff by making someone on the corresponding stag do, text his girlfriend ( I had to speak to him on the phone as I was the most sober one there)he had not told her he's arrived in Newcastle and she was feeling a bit teary and neglected.

I spent 45 minutes with a very tearful woman talking her out of ending it all, she tried to run out into the road and I had to get her back, poor poor thing she was so unhappy, mixed with shed loads of alcohol, lethal combination. I went to the loo and when I came back she was enthusiatically snogging some random bloke !

Even though I was the most sober one there, I agreed to join my marathon running friend and the bloke she runs with (he owns the restaurant we were in) in running the Berlin Marathon in 18 months time. Oh yes, I can stretch my 3 miles into 26, nae bother to your auntie, completely do able....

See what happens when I go out, Jesus, Mary and Holy Saint Joseph, I really am much better off at home, much less eventful.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter

Tomorrow my beautiful girl will be 16. She has always been a delight to me and I cannot imagine life without her, way too boring. She is a gorgeous mixture of part adult part baby, she looks so grown up sometimes and at others I can still see her with pigtails and a lollipop.

I really must fess up and say I haven't done her any favours in the growing up stakes. I have done everything for her and consequently she is not a fully functioning human yet. I shudder to think how she'll manage living independently. She doesn't know how to clean, use a washing machine or iron. She can only make toast, spaghetti hoops and tinned soup. She has never used a cash machine, paid a bill or made an appointment for the Dr's, dentist or optician. I do all of that for her, she can't even ask a sales assistant in a shop for anything, I have to ask if they've got it in a 6.

But she is kind, funny, smart and extremely beautiful and I have 2 years to teach her how to live. So join with me in wishing her the best year yet, she is my beloved first child, I cannot tell you how much I love her, she is my heart, Mo Chridhe

Decorative not Functional

The Eldest Beautiful Daughter is not the daftest of weans but this week she has surpassed herself in the stupidity of her comments.

" We watched The 2 Ronnies today in history " when I queried this I was told " Yeah, we were doing 1920 s America" okay, Mummy s still not convinced and explained who The 2 Ronnies are, then the killer " It was black and white and there were 2 men, 1 tall and skinny and a short fat 1 with a bowler hat and a moustache " ah, that'll be Laurel and Hardy then.

" Hollyoaks raises some serious issues"

and my very very favourite

" Could you put a baby on a motorbike ? " when met with my incredulous gaze ammended to " What even if it's in it's car seat ? "

Who says teenagers of today are stupid ?

Happy Birthday Blog

Can you believe it ? My blog is 1 year old today !!!! For the last year I have rambled on about my thoughts on everything. It's been an eclectic mix to say the least !!!

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who's visited and I hope you've enjoyed reading about my beautiful but sometimes dysfunctional life, as much as I've enjoyed all your blogs. The biggest thank you goes to The Edge, who is my original and best matey boy and if he hadn't encouraged me I would never have blogged and I would be so much the poorer for it. So thank you Neil, for everything, the encouragement, the texts, the virtual hugs and the copious ammounts of red wine when we do manage to meet up.

The last thank you goes to The Beautiful Children, for being mine, giving me a reason to get up in the mornings and providing me with so much blog fodder. Your mummy does wuvs yoo!!!!!