Normal middle aged Pollyanna service is resumed

Today I am feeling much more cheerful. Thank you for all the kind comments, texts, emails, and all round virtual hugs and love to see if I was okay. I am, thank you, just a touch of the Greta's.

Today I am feeling so much better, I actually got up and out at 6.45am and ran for 4 miles, without even having to walk the big hill that defeats me every feckin time.

Regular readers know of my strange obsession with my horoscope. Today I am liking
the one that says I can choose between 2 people. Not liking the one that says I will be cross and shouty.

And really liking that Mystic Meg says I will meet someone for the first time and know this will be the person I will marry.

Oh and I'm going out tonight...

Cheap Laughs

Would you like to hear what made your auntie laugh out loud in a slightly bitter and ironic fashion, for a long time in a "this is the real deal, I've had 3 kids and my pelvic floor's not what it was" kinda way?

Read on, for your auntie will lay a wee funny upon you, unselfish to my very core, public spirited to the last.

auntiegwen's solicitor " Can I ask if you have any plans to remarry?"

Insert ironic and slightly hysterical laughter accesorised by incredulous facial expression, the "You've gotta be kidding me" look here.

Abso feckin lutely, this divorce hasn't put me off men or marriage in the slightest. I can't wait to do it all again. I am an avid subscriber to "Bridezilla" and my omnipresent Pollyanna hasn't had a dent in her.

And I didn't even charge you the £165 it cost me to hear that.

What a gal.

Tis the season

Your auntie is very very cheerful and full of goodwill at the moment, suck it up please, it's unlikely that Pollyanna will prevail over the grumpy old woman and I'm sure the flying monkeys will be back shortly.

I love love love Christmas and as it's the 1st of December I feel I can let rip and go with the festive flow. I can scoff mince pies and fruit and nut toblerones to my hearts content, put Baileys in my coffee, light my Crabtree and Evelyn Noel candles (when I smell them I know it's Christmas) and get as excited as a 4 year old.

For the first time in 22 years I will be spending Christmas Day with my parents, my children and my sister and her family and I am so excited and also very grateful to my children's dad for his generosity in letting the children be with me.

So I will be in The Mother Country from the 23rd onwards, and my mammy will be minding me, and I don't have to be the Mummy, I get to be the child again, it really will be a fab Christmas.

Musings from me

Hello my little bloggy chums, how are you?

Myself and the beautiful children are well. Thank you for asking.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter is getting ready for her beloved Matthew (chief matey boy of about 2 years) to go off to uni, this is a teeny tiny bit tense for all those who live/visit chez auntiegwen. Can you imagine how it will be in 2 weeks whan he actually goes? No, I don't want to either.

The Beautiful Son has had his annual haircut, he tried to articulate what he wanted to the barber who ignored him and took his cash. It's not pretty, it looks like he needs a carer, I'm hoping he'll grow into it.

Beautiful Baby Daughter tidied her bedroom, proper tidy, Kim and Aggie tidy, but you probably knew that as it was on the 10 o'clock news.

School has returned but without me, the son has joined elder daughter at high school (we have a 3 school system so they change at 14 when they start GCSE coursework) so that leaves only the baby at middle school.

I love, love, love my new job. It's hard, it's challenging and I am busy like you wouldn't believe but I can see that I am actually making a difference and I am thriving on the challenge.

My facebook thingy is still bemusing me, do I want to be my friend Susan's friend Janice's neighbour on the farm? I think not, I killed the begonia my friend Ell bought me for my birthday (in 3 days) I begged her not to buy me a live thing, I can only manage children, all my plants die. I also can't work out how to send gifts back to people and then they might think I don't love them, I do I'm just crap at technology. I have shed loads of teenagers befriending me and I can't say no. And despite my very good friend's plea for a boyfriend for me, not one of her mates stepped up ??? Pourquoi, I ask myself. So after a few weeks I'm bored of it.

I've got masses of nights out planned, some gigs, some dinners and been invited to a bloggy meet up in Amsterdam.

So a very busy but very contented auntie at present. Normal middle aged Pollyanna service has resumed. And thank God for that.

10 Things I really, really want

I've sat here for ages trying to write this. The things I think would make my life sooooo much more pleasurable. Lots of wasted time, umming and aahing, what do I come up with ?

Straight teeth, perkier bosoms and a psychology degree.

There were other little minor things, a Prada handbag, a Tiffany pendant that I am coveting with covety covetousness, a weekend away with a hot man and my tax return to be miraculously done, if the hot man can do that while I am luxuriating in the bath in the posh hotel room so much the better!

Dare I say this ? Could this possibly mean that Pollyanna is actually quite contented with her lot ? Am I happy ?

10 Things I have Never Done

Had sex in a car (yes, even in that BMW at the weekend)

Taken any recreational drugs except cannabis

Been arrested or been given a caution

Been truly malicious or vindictive

Been unfaithful

Been tattooed (I did think about getting it done when I was 40 but my mother was horrified, so I didn't as I didn't want to upset my mammy)

Been actually at Murrayfield watching Scotland beat England and lift The Calcutta cup

Been in a hot air balloon

Swum with dolphins

Had a Prada handbag

So continuing on the last post's theme, I still am, pretty much a good girl and I can wear my Pollyanna badge with pride. Okay, I'll hold my hands up, for an ex punk, I've led a pretty tame life. But as my song says " If destiny's kind, I've got the rest of my life"

Time to get busy...

Romantic Gestures

In Starbucks yesterday the nice wee man who made my drink put a heart into the foam. Aawh, the nice.

Last night my email bicker reached entente cordiale with a spot of late night texting. I didn't even complain that he'd woken me up. I was made nice to by his affirming that despite the grumpfest there is still no one else he'd rather take to see Glasvegas. So a nice normal Pollyanna would have returned the sentiment but me, oh no, I have to have the last word (Ok, I fess up, that is where Beautiful Baby Daughter gets it from) and I reply that to be fair I had good reason to be grumpy.

I then receive a text saying and I quote "it's not just a band, not just a gig and not just a ticket, it's a fecking ROMANTIC GESTURE ! So there x "

Well, that's me told.

Pollyanna says sorry

I am called Pollyanna by the person I am currently arguing with, it usually describes me fairly well, however the person I'm arguing with may beg to differ.
This is my penance for being so incredibly bad tempered. I will own up very publicly to being not always nice. I can present myself any which way on this blog and I should let people know that I am and have been a total bitch to you, so I'm sorry

I was bought a ticket to see Glasvegas and instead of making nice, I continued in a spot of low level bickering which frankly is stupid in a woman my age.Not even face to face bickering, not even bickering on the phone, oh no, your auntie has been on a nasty email type bicker, I am so unbelievably teenagerish and not in a good way. This ticket was bought for me as a way of someone making nice to me over a misunderstanding which has been festering and I threw my rattle out of the pram.

There was a very nasty email I sent in which I think the worst bit was

I'm tired, I'm grumpy and I just can't be arsed, it just seems too much like hard work.


Then the reply comes

I could sell it but you are right, there honestly is no one else I'd rather see them with and I was so pleased to spot the gig early and get the tickets. I thought that would mean a lot to you. And its very cool to go and see new bands at our age.

When I got your email last night I thought of an Arctic Monkeys song and here are the lyrics.

Well now then Mardy Bum
I've seen your frown
And it's like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off

Oh there's a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer
It's one that laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

Well now then Mardy Bum
Oh I'm in trouble again, aren't I
I thought as much try haredr
Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can't bear

Can't we, laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

And yeah I'm sorry I was late
well I missed the train
And then the traffic was a state
And I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs, oh when you say I don't care
but of course I do, yeah I clearly do!

So laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Still, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

I particularly like the "can't be arsed" line because I've heard that somewhere before.

Then, as if by magic, between 17.42 and 21.14 yesterday Pollyanna returned. Thank God because I really like her. Who the hell was that scary other woman who took over your yahoo account ?

We can't all be open books but we can all make an effort to try harder.

And I loved the pic, thanks. So I might even call your number tomorrow if you promise to put Pollyanna on.

x
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