Tomorrow

I will be 48, I can hardly believe it! It's uplifting to still be sane ish and have my body still doing what I request of it and slightly depressing to be looking older and more tired.
Bah! I am alive


I have had a weird month with some fab highlights, spending time with great new friends and time with my beloved Lou, who has been my friend for decades.


 Sad stuff with my mum's decline.


 Good stuff because I have seen my beautiful son and scary stuff when I hear of his exploits.


Weird stuff with my stepson, it's quite frankly all batshit crazy over there, always.


Good and bad stuff with work,  very sad stuff with a death. Properly shaken me up stuff.


Odd stuff as my youngest daughter has been away for 3 weeks, most peculiar to be without her.


Good stuff as my older daughter is flying back from Germany to spend my birthday with me.


Exciting stuff with a big change in work/life balance. Cryptic non?


Feeling guilty for being a bad friend stuff as wanting to text Note Bene to tell him Glasgow City Council were flying the Palestinian flag and guilt as I don't have his number any more.


Missing Libs stuff, been far too long, missus, we need to see you and the mister.


I shall be back soon, I have a blog and I miss writing in it. I am going to try and blog more often, I miss you.

Happy Birthday

Apologies for the poor posting levels of late, I am still in my usual round of work, children and stress and have added in buying and selling a house, which necessitates a ferocious amount of hoovering, GCSE and A level exams which necessitates a ferocious amount of "there there" noises and provision of biscuits and monumentally bad decisions that my offspring have made and left for me to sort out. I don't like this at all, they profess to be adults and demand to make their own choices and then when it goes horribly wrong, revert back to the "mummy fix" mode which 10 minutes before was ruining their life. Enough. Today will be a happy day, for the auntie hath decided soeth.

If you need a warning, this post may now be entirely composed of self indulgent mush, I care not, I love mush but if you are not inclined that way yourself, you can pop back another day, when I shall return to my normal rantie auntie type posts.



Today I am going to celebrate my husband's birthday. I didn't think I would ever write a birthday blog for anyone other than my children, I didn't think I would or could ever love someone as much as I love them but someone somewhere felt I was due a break and sent me himself, who as I said in my wedding vows is a chuisle mo chroi.

I could spend the rest of my life telling you all the things I love about him, because for me, he is the man on whom all others should be based. He is everything I could ever want or need, he is my world. May we be together for the rest of our days, however cloudy, because a world without you in it, Andrew, is one I don't want.

He once wrote this about his dad and spoke these words at his funeral

My Dad

A man who did great things, who built homes, lives, families, people.

A man who showed me how to be, how to live life with thought for others.

A man who showed me what quiet dignity and respect looked like and what those two qualities could achieve.

A man that laughed a lot, that made others laugh in equal measure and always, always could laugh at himself.

A man who showed me that a sharp mind is more powerful than a strong arm.

A man so much greater than this prescribed end.

I was made by my Dad.

And he and your mum, should be so proud because they helped you become the wonderful man you are today, and anyone who knows you would recognise you from the description above. Happy Birthday my love, tha gaol agam ort

A chuisle mo chridhe

Tomorrow The Beautiful Son will be 16. I love being his Mummy, although he drives me round the bend with...

his omnipresent moaning about how slow our Internet speeds are
his work shy tendencies
his eat anything and worry about ownership later stuff
his ability to wind both his sisters up to cross, shouty, shreikyness
his complete disinterest in revising for any test or exam
his total obsession with stripping down his bike/Call of Duty/youtube/facebook and twitter

BUT

He still talks to me.
He still kisses me and hugs me at least once a day.
He makes me howl with laughter in a way no one else can.
He knows when I'm upset when no one else notices.
He said on FaceBook (which makes it official) that I was the person in the whole world he was closest to.

I wouldn't change a thing, he makes me happy and I love him. Jack, a chuisle mo chridhe.

Happy Birthday EBD

Today my Eldest Beautiful Daughter is 19. For the first time in her life she wakes up on her birthday without us there. No breakfast in bed, no cards or presents or singing (she might actually be glad to skip that!)

But tonight she will be home here with us. And Hot Boy.

Happy Birthday to you my dear practice child, I didn't do so badly with you after all, did I?

Lara, mo chridhe, tha gaol akam ort.

Happy Birthday to me

A huge thank you to all for your comments, emails, text messages, cards and pressies. I just had to share the card that my lovely friend Libby who blogs at D-scribes sent me.


It's like she knows me too well!

auntiegwens guide of what not to do lesson 2 - How not to upset people.

Lesson 2 in my handy hints to life guide

Do not forget your niece's birthday, this will annoy your sister. It cuts no ice that you have 3 jobs and are bringing 3 kids up by yourself and your niece's birthday is not top of your list of priorities, your sister will still be annoyed.

If you get 2 free tickets to go see the new film "My Sister's Keeper" do not choose to take 1 of your daughters. It matters not a jot that you took the other one to the free showing of "27 Dresses" and it's the other daughters turn. It also appears not to matter that it is in fact one of Eldest Beautiful daughters favourite books. Beautiful Baby Daughter will still be pissed.

It is unwise to mention that for the £5 you spent buying ingredients you could have bought a really nice cheesecake from Marks and Spencer. This will make The Beautiful Son feel irritated, it's not like he chooses to make cakes is it? He goes to school, gets told what to do, comes home gets moaned at, just like me, you'd think I'd undertand. The cheesecake was in fact delish.

When EBD's friend Phil comes to visit you and he on arival he says "I know EBD's not in, I've come to see you" (that seriously perplexes me, he comes to see me every visit home from uni, why ? ) It's fine to ask how his course is going (geology at Manchester) fine to ask about field trips (Devon and France) fine to ask about gigs (Download, Prodigy were amazing as were Slipknot apparently) but not fine to ask how his girlfriend is (glued to the hip for past 3 years) the glue's become undone, in a big way. Oops.

Best not to schedule a haircut after you've given yourself a "nice wee rinse" This will not escape your hairdresser's notice. This may annoy her and may explain why she's cut so much feckin hair off when you asked for a wee trim.

How the hell did that happen ?

Seventeen years ago today, I began my real career, as a Mummy, it's the one I've enjoyed the most and the one in which my achievements mean the most.

One minute I was in the labour ward gazing into my newborn baby daughters eyes and the proud daddy was saying " I can't believe it was that quick and that easy" yes, he indeedily did, oh there's plenty more where that came from and then the next minute she was 17.

This is the 3rd birthday blog I have written for her and she remains a daily delight. She is as enthusiatic and distractable as when she was 3 and still claps her hands in glee when something good happens. One of my favourite memories is of her magic finger, she used to think her index finger on her right hand could do anything, in the car she would wave it to make the car go faster and we'd drive quicker and to make the rain stop and the sun come out and if her magic finger didn't work, she'd look at it thoughtfully and announce "it must've run out of batteries"

Just after I found out I was pregnant, Gordon and I were on a beach and we watched a beautiful little girl around 18 months old playing in the sand. She had dark curly hair peeking our from under a sun bonnet and we said, ooh, we want one just that and we got one, even more beautiful. We said we hoped to give her the best of everything and I hope as she grows up she realises that materially she may not have had the best of everything but emotionally she did.

She is my beautiful shining star, one of the main reasons I get up every morning and my heart, mo chridhe.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow The Beautiful Children and I will be going here for half term, I am so looking forward to this.




Every morning we will be waking up to this.



And whilst we are there we have yet another thing to celebrate, I know it doesn't get much better than this !



On Monday my Beautiful Baby Daughter will be 12. I used to sing to her when she was a baby, this is her song...

Wee Tootsie Moppet
Mummies wee poppet
Daddies darling baby girl
You're the best thing in the world.

It doesn't seem like 12 years ago and yet when she's sleeping I really can see the baby version of her. She was the cutest little thing and the most articulate of them all, no matter what she puts her mind to, she'll do it. I would not be surprised to see her running the country one day. My little sweetie scone is not much smaller than me now but she still is and always will be my baby. She looks so much older this year, it's been the one I've seen the most difference in. She has the most glorious mop of titian hair and I am struggling to persuade her to keep it long, I would put ribbons in it, she just rolls her eyes at me. She now has very strong opinions on what she wants to wear and I know I have to let her grow up but she is very probably my last baby and I'd like to keep her that way as long as I can.She has an answer for everything and she can never admit that she's wrong, I don't know wher she gets that from!!! She has the most infectuous laugh and you can't help but join in. She could start a fight in an empty house but still is the most caring of wee souls. She is so enthusiatic and really goes for it, and despite the regular trumpet practice,I love her so very much and I am very priviledged to be her Mummy. She is my heart, mo chridhe.

Please may I have....

It's my birthday on Tuesday, I am going to be 21 AGAIN, how weird is that I am actually coming to the end of my 2nd 21 years.

Usually I've got an idea of what I want for my birthday, it's fair to say it usually involves jewellery of the silver colour (Tiffany is the drug of choice)and I am partial to a new handbag (Prada, please) but I've no particular covet this year but feel free to surprise me.

What I would really really like is

My house to be properly cleaned from top to bottom (windows, cupboards, under the beds, oh horror of horrors...the oven !!)

My ongoing Rarpa file to be done and sent back (very boring paperwork file that will take me 10 hours to do as I have ignored it for the whole year instead of doing it as I went along)

My tax return to be filled in and dealt with, I have to fill in a self assessment, a foreign and an employed section and the calculations on how many nights I personally have spent in the villa makes me need a big drink.

My divorce to be filed

My pile of clothes that are awaiting going to the dry cleaners, being hemmed, having buttons sewn back on etc etc being dealt with

The inevitable back to school shopping hell done for me

I would like my neck kissed thoroughly and then all the way down my spine

I would like breakfast in bed

After reading this back, I now realise that what I would like for my birthday is someone to help me do all the things in my life I can't be arsed to do for myself. I know what they're called, in fact I used to be one before I retired. What I am looking for, my dear reader, is a wife !!!!!

Any takers ?

I've had a busy day !

I awoke The Beautiful Son and showered him with gifts and kisses.

I made breakfast for everyone and then the packed lunches.

I ran for 5 miles.

I baked The Beautiful Son's Birthday cake.

I spent an hour prepping for Friday's lesson.

I did a load of laundry, pegged it out, cleaned the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher.

I went to work and during the departmental staff meeting, I presented a new IT system for enrolling students ( I had a lot of help with this courtesy of a charming IT consultant, whose number is now stored on my phone under God)

I spent 2 hours cleaning out our resource cupboard at work.

I came home, vacuumed the house, emptied the dishwasher and took in the laundry.

I cleaned up (without yelling) the broken snowglobe that Rhys Daniel ( TBS maddest mate) had broken whilst playing indoor golf with a rugby ball.

I drove into the village to collect take out pizza's that TBS wanted for tea.

I then drove back into the village to go to the bank, as Beautiful Baby Daughter needs money for my ticket to see her play her trumpet in the school concert. I will of course, go with joy and be tremendously enthusiastic about these budding musicians.

I emptied the bins ready for collection tomorrow.

I did some prep for tomorrows lesson with the nursery nurses.

I have bug busted Beautiful Baby Daughter's hair.

I have spoken to my mummy on the phone.

I have blogged this.

I am now very tired and this is why I am usually asleep by 9pm.

The Beautiful Son - A Teenager !

Can you believe that my adorable baby boy has had the audacity to turn into a teenager !! The cheek of him. Tomorrow he will become 13.

He really was the most gorgeous baby, he had a cheeky smile, a really infectious laugh, very blonde hair and had big brown eyes that looked up at me like I was the Queen of the world. Some things have slightly changed over the years, he's much less blonde now and the big brown eyes look down on me now but I have to say he still looks at me with love.

When he was little he had lots of cute sayings and doings, he used to call me Mummydarling, all one word, he genuinely thought that was my name, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he thought for a bit and announced that he thought that being a King would be a good job ! He was very scared of small yappy type dogs, big yappy type dogs and most animals really. When he was a toddler he was a one man demolition machine, he touched and broke everything in his path, it really was just as well he was so lovable.

Today he plays rugby, is fearless, has long hair, plays electric guitar and looks very cool. He has a real integrity to him and is a really popular boy, everyone who meets him loves him.

Once when he was 2 he had completely destroyed the playroom, a real huge mess and when I went in I pointed to it and I asked him " What did Jack make ? " pointing at the mess and he replied " Mummydarling happy, Jack makes Mummydarling happy"

And he still does, every single day and I count my blessings for the gift of him and the absolute priviledge to be his mummydarling, I am THE luckiest woman in the world, because he's mine and I love him more than I can ever say, he's my heart, mo chridhe.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter

Tomorrow my beautiful girl will be 16. She has always been a delight to me and I cannot imagine life without her, way too boring. She is a gorgeous mixture of part adult part baby, she looks so grown up sometimes and at others I can still see her with pigtails and a lollipop.

I really must fess up and say I haven't done her any favours in the growing up stakes. I have done everything for her and consequently she is not a fully functioning human yet. I shudder to think how she'll manage living independently. She doesn't know how to clean, use a washing machine or iron. She can only make toast, spaghetti hoops and tinned soup. She has never used a cash machine, paid a bill or made an appointment for the Dr's, dentist or optician. I do all of that for her, she can't even ask a sales assistant in a shop for anything, I have to ask if they've got it in a 6.

But she is kind, funny, smart and extremely beautiful and I have 2 years to teach her how to live. So join with me in wishing her the best year yet, she is my beloved first child, I cannot tell you how much I love her, she is my heart, Mo Chridhe

Mo Chridhe

Yesterday was Beautiful Baby Daughters 11th birthday. As I held her in my arms for the first time I loved her so intently and with a tiny tinge of sadness, knowing that she was the last baby I would ever have.

She has grown into the most complex of my children, a creature of extremes - at times as wild as the heather mixed with the most gentle and tender of hearts. Sometimes seemingly so grown up but remaining as much of a baby as she ever was. I feel she is the most like me, both physically and emotionally. I see all my faults glaring back at me and this can make for fireworks between us but it in no way diminishes the deep and profound love I have for her.

She is incredibly enthusiastic about things and has the biggest heart. She is always telling people how much she loves them and will often write little love letters to us or give us certificates praising us for our good points. Her generosity of spirit is fabulous. She is definitely the most creative of us all and life with her in it is never boring.

I still sneak in and look at her when she is sleeping and as I see the glorious mop of titian curls slightly damp from the bath covering the still babyish curve of her cheek and the thumb remaining very firmly in her mouth, I can still see the baby in the cot.

I love her so very much and she is still now, and always will be, her mummys darling baby girl, and my heart, mo chridhe

Birthday Blog

Happy Birthday Me - I am 40 feckin 1 today, Happy Birthday to himself who is 40 feckin 4 today and Happy Birthday to Red's Mom who is the baby of us all at 40.

I woke up to lots of giggles from Beautiful Baby Daughter and her 2 little friends Isobel and Joanna who were sleeping over, they made me a beautiful card, which opened back to front and had the world and it's granny stuck onto it, it also said Happy Birthday Mum with lots of love from Lucy, Izzy and Jo. Nice to know I have all these extra children isn't it ? I absolutely love these home made cards with all their excess, none of that less is more type stuff.

A lovely visit from my friend Jo with really thoughtful birthday gifts and another visit from my friend Christina again with well chosen gifts. Apparently I am really difficult to buy presents for, frankly I think I make it easy for people, I mean come on, I even put it on my blog what I'm after.

Lots of lovely emails and texts from friends near and far, cards, presents, flowers and cake from the people who love me, how good is that ? And do you know what, next year will be even better !!

Thank you to all the people who took time out of their life to celebrate with me. Like I always say I'm a lucky, lucky girl. Okay, a lucky, lucky getting on for middle aged woman - don't want to get caught out by the trades description act !!!

Mo Chridhe

Today was The Beautiful Son's 12th birthday. How can I articulate to you what a really sweet and kind boy he is and how much this child means to me. He is the most empathetic little soul and has a calmness and gentleness in him that is a complete contrast to his usual rugby playing, jackass video making, mad as a box of frogs daily behaviour. He seems to sense if I'm feeling down and will lie beside me just hugging me and I really do feel comforted just by his presence.

Of all my children he seems to need my physical presence and if I'm with him he needs to be physically attached to me, my friends all laugh that I wear him like a scarf. From when he was the tiniest baby, he would hold my hair and twist it around his fingers and he still does that today. He has to be kissed awake every morning and I know soon that he will want to stop that just as he will stop holding my hand or hugging me. I have always called him Small Boy even though now he is the same size as me and he calls me Marmee. No matter how big he gets I will still see the small boy in him and I will always be his Marmee.

He is my beautiful son and I love him. He also is my heart, Mo chridhe

Mo Chridhe

As I start to write this at 10 36 pm March 11th 2007 , exactly 15 years ago at 10 36 pm on March 11th 1992 my beautiful eldest daughter was born. She was a much longed for baby and I was so enchanted with her, she was perfect in every way.
Now at 15 she has surpassed all my expectations for her, she is happy, kind, smart, funny and beautiful beyond measure. She is so full of life and has great friends who love her and she is just fabulous. I am extremely priviledged to be a part of her life and I enjoy each day with her, conscious now of the clock ticking down to when she will leave my nest to start out on her own. She is my delight and I love her more than I can ever express. She is my bright shining star and my heart, mo chridhe.