I have 3 Cath Kidston tea towels, some flowery clothes peg fridge magnets (xmas pressie from my friend Sixy)and some wobble stripe CK oven gloves just quivering in retro style floral porn anticipation. I even bought a set of Kitchen Devil knives. But no nice new apple green painted walls and cream shaker style units with silver bar handles and a pastel ice cream coloured smeg fridge dream kitchen to put them in.
All together now poor, poor auntie.
But I have a cunning plan.
Not like The Beautiful Son's plan of sleeping with older people for money, I fear I may not get enough for the paint. A betterer plan. Remember when Peter Kay did his "Mum wants a bungalow" tour? This is the "auntie needs a new kitchen" campaign.
Hot Boy has always said when he gets famous (outside of Germany, where his band are really, really popular) he will buy me a new kitchen.
Today Hot Boy's band who I think should call themselves Hot Boy's Band, loads of people searching on T'internets will be lead to their site (yes, I think it is a much better name, I thought it up all by my very own self) anyhoo they release their album "Of regard and affection" today. They, however, are still sticking with calling themselves i am in love.
If you all buy the album and tell everyone you know to buy the album, Hot Boy will become famous and will have to buy me a new kitchen to stop me telling the tales that couldn't be put on the blog, yep that's right, you had the heavily edited highlights. God help us all, you only get a smidgen of what he's like.
He will be 21 on Monday and has a huge exam to sit today so send all good positive vibes his way, pleasey please, and if you wanted a good 21st pressie or passing your exams pressie...
Or Eldest Beautiful Daughter has said she'll marry Prince Harry.
She has a 3 pronged strategy for meeting him so he can fall madly in love with her
1 - She teaches at a military school and he comes on an official visit
2 - William and Kate have a child that she becomes the personal tutor of
3 - When Hot Boy is playing at the festivals this summer, she will be hanging around in the VIP area as Hot Boy's plus one and as Hot Boy is wooing the crowds she will engage Prince Harry in flirty banter about her red and white polka dot wellies.
So, the choice dear readers is up to you, you can pay the money for Hot Boy's album or EBD will have to marry into clan Windsor.
You know what's the right thing to do.
