Middle Class Porn

BIG HUGE MIDDLE CLASS MIDDLE AGED WOMAN PORN ALERT.

The older I become, the more I seem to gravitate to the the middle class lifestyle porn that is peddled mercilessly at me, it's in my magazines, on t'internets, I am even sent porn through the post, lovely seductive catalogues that scream, sit and stroke my subtly sexy pages and be immersed in my middle class world where there is no recesssion and everything is lovely. If I buy from them my life will be immeasureably better, I will be thinner, my children will be tow headed poppets, my husband will be lantern jawed handsome. I won't take it too far, we all know what my life and children are really like.

My name is auntiegwen and I am addicted to The White Company (and others but one step at a time) I like soft things. I like very plain things. I like things that last. I don't mind paying for quality things as long as there are no labels and bling and no one can guess they were expensive (the dichotomy thing that runs through my very core) I am The White Company's marketing department's wet dream.

I buy their candles, they do a lot of candles. I love candles and I always have one burning away somewhere.

I have their vases and fairy lights and Christmas pot pourri and wreaths. I have their vase that looks like a big fishbowl filled with their very fancy white lantern fairy lights in my conservatory, it is very what lovely. It screams The White Company.

I wear their clothes, they do a lot of grey, I am strangely drawn to the colour grey.

I have managed to keep my The White Company habit under some financial control. I started small, a candle, a liquid soap. Not all the time - just when I was feeling a bit low and needed a quick pick me up. I worked my way up through the ranks.

Until now.

Now I want more. I have the deep yearning for their bedding. Dear God, protect me from myself.

I so want the CARLYLE bed linen. I love the subtle striped softness and plainess of it.

I covet with covety covetousness the GREY CASHMERE throw and cushions.

I know it would be outrageous and obsecene for me to spend hundreds of pounds on bed linen. But the inner voice says so what if the children don't get to eat for a while. Or they cut my gas off. I will be cushioned from the harsh realities of life.

I won't feel it because I will be in middle class bed heaven, gently slumbering on soft as a whisper 600tc Egyptian cotton sateen (made in Italy, where all the really stylish bed linen gets made, none of your made in China for TWC, no siree Bob)

I will be thin and beautiful and in a grey slip nightie (oh how well they know me, everything in that feckin catalogue is screaming BUY ME) I will have a gentle peaceful life, I probably do yoga as well.

My bedroom is a sanctuary, I have fresh white flowers in an effortlessly stylish vase, my candle is beautifully subtle, I am serene and calm. I read improving books in bed with my soft as a baby's breath cashmere throw around my shoulders. My life is so chic it hurts.

I know it's not right for me to spend that money on bed linen but I still want it. I long for it. It's top quality porn.

My name is auntiegwen and I am addicted to The White Company.

Addictions and Awards

Your auntie has had a wee bit bling bestowed upon her by the very facinating with a fascinator Flick at Dusting Spiders.

I have to tell you of my 5 addictions, there are lots of things in my life I adore but these are things (not people) that I could not bear to have in my life daily.

The Internet - I spend way too much time online, blogging, emailing, researching work stuff etc, I read loads of horoscopes too, I know I'm a sad article.

Coffee - I drink way too much, at home it's instant Marks and Spencer Fairtrade gold roast. In Starbucks it's venti skinny latte with cinnamon on or in summer venti coffee light frappucino. I am overly happy if someone else makes it for me.

Love - completely and utterly, my name is auntiegwen and I am a big fat love junkie.

Reading - my mammy taught me when I was 3 and I've never given up reading, can always be found with at least 2 books on the go and love my book group. At present reading Marian Keyes "This Charming Man" Fiona Neill "The Secret Life of a Slummy Mummy" and I should be reading the Barak Obama autobiographies as book group is on the 4th and I've to read both of his !

High heels - I always wear high heels, every single day, I do not possess a pair of flat shoes. This is because I am tiny, about 5 foot 3, but strangely I only seem to date tall men. Only once have I dated someone less than 6 foot. So I am completely addicted to my heels, I have been known to photograph new ones on my phone, I even show them to people, much to their bemusement. I can give good shoe porn should you be interested...

So my lovelies, I can't pick 5 of you, I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, so feel free to do the tag and take the bling because I love reading all your blogs.